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Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Monday, November 29, 2021

Speaking out against molestation in kibera #nairobifeminist

We all have our lives to live but let us also learn to help those that need help even when they don't ask . Let us learn to be our brother's keeper.

To make a donation towards helping these boys and the countless others that reach out to me for help please click on the donation box on your right or click here

Don't forget to Like, Share and Subscribe.

Tuesday, October 19, 2021


'....We teach boys to be afraid of fear ,of weakness, and vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves because they have to be " a hard man".... we end up leaving them with fragile egos. And we raise girls to cater to those fragile egos.

We teach girls to shrink themselves make themselves smaller. We say to girls you can have ambition but not too much .You should aim to be successful but not too successful otherwise you will threaten the man.
If you are the bread winner in your relationship with a man act like you are not. Especially in public otherwise you will emasculate him. But what if we question the premise itself? " (Extract from we should all be feminists by chimamanda adichie )

To be honest the way in which she put this book together and specific these words is just truthin itself.  Why can't it simply be , the person with more money or more financial capability pay? Why can't it be. We spend the same amount of time at work doing the same job we should be paid equally? Why does It have to be because he is male  and you are female a good enough answer?
Why does it have to be based on size and physical build that shows ability instead of what we bring to the table?

Gender equality simply asks that we are given the same opportunities Based on our capabilities and not as a result of a role that has been forced on us.
Equality is to eliminate the notion that one is better than the other and allow for all to exist and fill the same space for a free exchange. 

A woman's success should be a success for all . It shouldn't be seen as something that makes her unruly ,undesirable and difficult. As compared to  a man's success which shows his capabilities, his hard work ,his determination, which automatically makes him a good man and husband.

If we all have a brain why should women be only allowed to use parts of it and selectively know when to show intelligence and men can be themselves at all times. Why is it ok for a man to question a zig zag line and a problem for a woman to question the same line? Is it so absurd the feminine perspective is just as equally deserving of observation and  opportunity? Why does respect have to be something a woman shows a man and not necessarily something that a man shows a woman? Why should one be the sacrificial lamb inorder to help the other achieve their best instead of allowing both to enable each other to be successful and grow together?  We need to see gender as who we are and allow for us all  to be free and not just what we have been taught to be because what we have been taught to be has caused more harm than good. More insecurities.


I've always been the type of person that wants to learn as many lessons as I can from those around me or even books . I don't like learning the hard way because I feel like it takes longer and you loose alot more time in the process.

Unfortunately it can't always be that way and in all honesty the best lessons are always the ones you have to learn the hard way. 

I read a quote that said you only go through it because you needed to know about it inorder to help yourself and someone else. That's the essence of this blog share what you learn so that someone else knows they are not alone .

With every bad comes some good and with every good thing comes some bad.  Just because we constantly go through rough spots doesn't mean it's because of something bad we have done it happens because there was some good we where trying to hold on to longer than we should have . Inorder for growth to occur we have to be put out of our comfort  zone for expansion to occur. 

You learnt a lesson to be blessed and to be a blessing to someone else. You are better off for your experience today than you where a year ago so take what you learn and keep going. Don't be afraid of the hard times sail through them and the more you do that the better off you will be in the long-run.

Monday, October 18, 2021



You don't love me!
I don't want to live with you!
Your not nice to me!
I want mom /dad!
Words that every parent will hear at least once. Doesn't mean that it gets easier it just means there is room for things to get better.

Separation or divorce! Can be icky. Those words just carry such negativity and can make anyone cringe.
I  always thought that I would have a perfect family and that would never happen to me. I witnessed it as an adolescent and  for those reasons never wanted it for myself . I guess nobody does and for those reasons when it happens it makes it even harder. 

Meaning there is more reason for things to workout so that you can put your kids first.
I'm saying this not because there is a majic solution that can make everything better . If you are just starting out it's most probably things will get worse before they get better. But the fact that you are reading this means you want the best for your child and that means half of the work has been done.

Kids are smarter than we think. They have watched and felt our reactions since they were in our stomach. So trust me when I say they can read you like a book.So don't lie to them or manipulate them otherwise they will end up hating you for it.

That being said let's get into it as I share with you what I have learnt. 
1.Accept that it is over.
2. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of what you thought was permanent.
3. Learn to separate your pain ,anger, frustration and jealousy from situations.
4. Have an honest conversation about the way forward and responsibilities 
5.Have a legally binding agreement .document.
6.  Respect eachother .
1.Reassure them that you will always be there for them and remind them daily or even hourly that they are loved 
2.Allow your child to express how they feel 
3.Don't force them to pick a side or guilt them into feeling sorry for you.
4.Don't use your kids as pawns or as messengers.
5. Be honest with them but gently.
6. Listen to them genuinely.
7. Allow them to act out don't address things in the heat of the moment wait till they are back to normal.


I give up.
Not because I am giving in , but because I'm giving away.
Giving away what doesn't serve me. What doesn't bring me joy.
Giving away what has caused me so much pain.
Giving up on an image I clung onto because at one point I thought it was all I needed.
Giving up on something that constricts me, something that suffocates me.
Giving up on striving for perfection.
Giving up on you.
Giving you away so I can be free .
Giving it away because i don't need it anymore.
Letting it all go and Freeing myself .have all
So that I can be more of me and less like you.

We all get to a point in life where holding on causes us more pain than joy. However I am sure if you look back in your life and see  the points where you let go . You can now see how that moment improved your quality of life. There is power in giving up.There is strength. There is courage . 

Give your best. Give it your all and when the time comes know that it is ok to also let go so that you can be happier.

Friday, September 17, 2021


What if I told you the whole purpose of life is to go through the highs and lows.
What would you do different? What would you keep doing? Who would you have in your life and who would you leave out of it.

We've all been conditioned to think that life needs to have an order of events and once you get to a certain point success is what is expected. 
We want to show the highs on our socials and hide the lows. We've been conditioned to think that failure,loss and lows in general should never be part of the equation.

While the reality is that life is a series of highs and lows and what determines your ultimate success of the game of life is how you choose to keep going when you go through successive lows.

What makes the man/woman isn't how much you succeed but what you learn when you stumble and fall. Because it is when we are at our lowest that we can truly evolve. Just as a diamond can only be a diamond once it goes though intense heat and fire.

Live, Learn, Love Share and never stop dreaming.

Monday, August 16, 2021


Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it just means you are patiently deciding how you want your life to be & who you want to spend it with.

 You have just left a relationship.
Some believe that the best way to get over someone is to get under another...if we are being honest nothing rushed ever yielded good results.
Take time to heal, debrief and rediscover yourself.

You are afraid of commitment.
Deal with why you are afraid more often than not you will discover that it's past traumas still haunting you that you need to let go of.

You are still in love with an ex.
If you want to get back with your ex or still have feelings for your ex. You will just be wasting the other person's time.whuch isn't fair

You are afraid of being alone / don't like being alone.
Find out why you don't like being alone. Find out why you need a distraction or validation from someone else and more often than not you will find out you are dealing with past trauma

Your desperate.
What is meant to be yours will be yours. Do not force yourself into someone's life or settle for someone because you feel time is running out Or because of whatever reason you have been told or tell yourself. It's better to be happy and alone than miserable . Also know that you do deserve true love and happiness.

You expect every date to turn into a relationship.
Sometimes you have to kiss a couple of frogs to find prince charming or sometimes your looking at him and you don't know. Also know that heartbreak isnt permanent you really do have to get your feet in the mud .

You are busy.
Nobody likes to feel alone, neglected or feel like they come second. Find time for those you love and show them you care and adore them.

You have trust issues.
For starters I am sorry that in some way or form someone broke your heart or made you feel that you can't trust anyone. However if you really want to be in a relationship you have to heal first and then take the risk over and over again until you get it right. Don't let fear cripple you.

You are going though a life change .
Simply put, what happens when the way your feeling goes away? You can't make a person go away.....

You don't know what you want.
Figure out what you want first .know what you like and then go after it not the other way around.

There's a voice in your head telling you NO.
If there's a light in your head or a voice telling you this is not for you or this is wrong or you need to leave please do trust your instincts.It might save you time and pain

You have a to do list for things to do before you settle into one.
It just means that your not going to give it your all because what happens when the person gets tired of waiting?

If you are settling for someone.
Know your worth, know you deserve the best and even though it sucks waiting .imagine how much more it will suck if your in an unhappy relationship.

You enjoy your freedom.
Dont waste anyone's time if you don't want to commit.Dont break anyone's heart because yours is undecided or wild and free. Be honest about it from the get go.

For security.
What happens when the thing or reason to feel secure goes away. If it's finances you need to be able to stand on your own before you can allow someone else to carry your weight.

You have baggage.
The biggest reason relationships fail is because of past experiences,traumas or life you either become exactly what you see,better or worse how you heal from the past determines what kind of future you will have 

You want someone to save you.
The only person that saves is Jesus and even he lets us find our own path to him and he expects us to follow his word!

You want to fill a void.
Fill the hole that you have don't expect someone else to do it for you.  What happens when they become unable to keep filling the void?

Monday, May 31, 2021

INSECURITIES. (How to deal with insecurities)


The core cause of insecurities is often a lack of self-love. If a person holds on to harmful limiting beliefs, like being afraid of failure or thinking that they don't deserve love, they won't be able to trust completely  and trust is the foundation of any relationship..

Our minds sometimes do more damage than good. We can be so stuck in the past. Stuck in what we don't want to happen, Stuck in the fear of what will happen that we talk ourselves into believing that nothing good ever happens that we orchestrate our own downfall and what we fear the most happens.

Sometimes we come up with valid points and our intuition is right . However alot of the times we give into the voices that say we deserve what we are going through. Thoughts of our worst fears coming true that we project them on other people. Thoughts of inadequacy. Thoughts of unworthiness.

We can be out harshest critics and alot of the times we dig ourselves into a hole. Sometimes we isolate ourselves to the point that we are all alone based on what we allow our thoughts convince us.

Whenever you have a thought that negates you. Stop it before it causes more damage .Learn to love yourself and know your worth, Believe in yourself. Learn to heal those scars ,those past wounds and allow yourself to be present in the moment. 

Self love is the best kind of love. Look yourself in the mirror and fall in love with your imperfections, fall in love with what you represent what you are ,what you are not, Fall in love with the parts of you you dont like and heal the inner child within by showing her or him some love.

Saturday, April 24, 2021


Life is a series of continuous lessons. Some of those lessons bring us to our knees and almost cripple us. Others we learn from people around us. What you cannot do is stop the process once it begins to unfold.

Look at it this way . When you where younger everything excited you . You where open to endless possibilities and open to the adventure of finding out where the road takes you. As you get older you learn lessons that make you smarter and you begin to evaluate everything sometimes too much that you talk yourself out of an adventure or opportunity because you don't want something to disappoint you, or even go wrong like it did previously. 

That shell we create around us as a protective layer sometimes is the very thing that hinders you from doing what you are supposed to do or hinders you from achieving what you where hoping to achieve. In that way you end up standing in your own way .A quote that keeps me on my toes says," That which we fear we become and that which we judge we become".
Look back in your own life and see areas where you stopped your own blessings  out of fear and evaluate whether or not you want to continue down that road.

Don't let what is happening on the outside  harden your heart. Life is an experience live it  ,learn what you can ,laugh and heal from what you can't change and never stop dreaming. 

Wednesday, April 14, 2021



The holy month of Ramadan on the Muslim calender is here and i remember as a kid how amazing and hard I thought it was but the determination the dedication and the passion I watched  growing up from both family and friends made it even more beautiful. To fast and pray the whole day and then break your fast with your loved ones with good food laughter brings up many memories for me.

You know we then grow up see what life is. Have our own arguments with God as to why some prayers aren't answered or for some people who go through turmoil in life and try praying and become convinced that God doesn't listen or love them and even decide to switch religions or drop religion and God all together.

One thing I've come to understand about faith as I grow older is .sometimes you will not get what you want . Sometimes you will want to give up , sometimes you question everything. However the thing is the person who created you and put you on this earth irregardless of religion or how much you feel neglected by him . He doesn't change he remains and will remain long after you are gone. He even knew at one point you would feel as you do. 
Whether or not you believe it or not you where created and everyone is here for a purpose just as the eco system balances out with every species in it and if one stops existing the balance is lost.

Someone once told me everyone's existence /destiny is intertwined with someone else's and even though your existence may feel insignificant doesn't mean the space you occupy doesn't hold value to someone else So it all boils down to the kind of relationship you have with with your creator whether or not it feels like he is listening to you or not.
Take sometime close your eyes and just speak to him like a friend that just wants to hear from you . Eventually he will show you he heard you. 
If not what harm does it do to speak to your creator atleast he won't tell anyone your secrets.

Live ,laugh,love,learn and never stop praying because you could be one prayer away from your miracle . He said seek and you will find . Knock and the door will be opened . Maybe not at your timing but know he doesn't break his promises.


You know one of those days where every thing that could go wrong just goes wrong.

That by the time it gets to the end of the day you just get into bed and feel completely drained. You wonder what's the point of life! Endless torture!  a game where you loose more than you win...

As you go through the waves and the voice in your head just keeps pounding you with even more negatively. You cry out for help but nobody can truly understand what your going through.

You want to scream that your drowning but you can't. Or even when you choose to ask for help you realise there's only so much anyone can do for you because everyone is fighting their own battles.

Or even when you are constantly there for people but no body resceprocates it back to you or in some cases people see you as a place of release .where they dump their pain all on you find peace and leave the weight on your shoulders.

It becomes clear that although we have friends who care ,family who love us and even careers that satisfy our needs and wants. You still can't help but still alone!

In those moments you wonder what life really is supposed to be about because everything you thought it was supposed to be really isn't what it's playing out to be and you wonder how can you deal with it.

I read a quote that said ,"The quicker you accept things as they are the sooner you will discover peace."
It resonates with me because I finally understood what it meant. Denial means resistance and just as the word suggest you are fighting /resisting what is occuring naturally. You got to exactly where you are based on the choices you have made. Both willingly and unwillingly.  
Your situation will not change because you don't agree with it . It will only change when you make the changes necessary . 
Before you can do that you have to sit in silence with yourself Listen to all the thoughts racing in your stillness and then silence the voices that bring you sadness, the voices that cause the resistance. Remove the fear and do what is natural without resistance.

That's why after a good cry you find peace because you have released and are no longer in resistance . You have accepted.

Live, love, laugh ,learn and never stop dreaming because dreams do come true. Ask anyone that refused to give up

Wednesday, March 24, 2021


You ever just sit down and ask yourself if we got this life thing all mixed up. There are days we feel like we are on track achieving goals ,making money, working hard,staying out of trouble. And then there are days we think to ourselves is this all life is supposed to be.

I remember a story I was told about death . 
A man dies and goes up to find neither heaven nor hell. Just a place with souls walking around with no freedom. 
When he looked back down on earth he finally understood that he was given a chance to be free to be who he wanted to be,to explore ,to love ,to live and to learn and all he did was do what was expected like a slave of the system. He had wasted his one shot.

It resonated with me deeply so I thought I would share and ask you. What aspects of your current life do you feel you would regret of you where looking down on yourself and why aren't you doing anything to ensure you don't waste this one shot at life.. . . . . 

Monday, March 22, 2021


Growing older has made me alot calmer because I've learnt that life has a way of reminding you that some things are out of your own control. 
You can't fight it.

 You just have to find a way of allowing life to do what it needs to do . Because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser.

The same way when you are sitting still in meditation taking a deep breath in and out aware of your surroundings present in the moment and just taking in everything in and releasing everything that causes you stress,discomfort, unhappiness,tension is the same way you have to take on life .

Whatever was destined to happen will happen . The best you can do is give yourself a fighting chance by learning from your failures and those that have come before you. By being patient. By learning and being open to new possibilities and by dreaming because without our dreams . We would have no motivation to keep going or get things done.

So when you get to a point where you feel as though you don't want to keep going or feel overwhelmed and drained or just unhappy take a moment. Pause take a deep breath in feel life flow through you. All around you and realise that whatever it is going on there is more to life and it is just a small fraction of it
Live ,Love,Learn,Laugh, Breaty and never stop dreaming.

Monday, February 8, 2021


Jumping into a new relationship can be exciting and sometimes we forget to ask important questions that can help us lean more about eachother. As well us clarify a few things.

So I've complied a bunch of questions that are both fun,steamy, and some that will make you have to dig deep within yourself . So have fun have some to add hit the comment section.

  • What  are your full names?
  • How old are you?
  • What is your favourite colour?
  • What is on your bucket list?
  • What is the most adventurous thing you have done?
  • Do you have health or mental health issues?
  • Are you close with your family?
  • What do you think you are ready to be in a relationship?
  • What makes you feel like this relationship between us is what you need?
  • What is your favourite part of my personality?
  • What makes you happy/sad in relationships?
  • What is the biggest lesson you have learnt from past relationships?
  • What lesson did you learn that you wish you would have learnt early?
  • What are you too hard on yourself for?
  • How do you deal with stress? 
  • What's one thing you probably should do that you never do?
  • What is the best thing your parents thought you?
  • What makes you different from most people?
  • Who is the most toxic person you know?
  • What animal do you think you are?
  • Where do you see yourself in five years?
  • Do you want to have children?
  • How long was your longest relationship?Why did it end?
  • Have you ever been engaged or married? 
  • Do you ever want to get married? 
  • Are you monogamous?
  • Have you ever lived with a partner?
  • How important is religion or spirituality to you?
  • What is your sexual orientation?
  • How do you feel about gay rights?
  • Do you think money can buy happiness?
  • What is your dream job?
  • What one thing do you want to accomplish in your life?
  • What accomplishment are you most proud of?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • How would you describe your relationship with your family?
  • Do you have a best friend? 
  • What qualities attracted you to your best friend?
  • What is your love language?
  • Are you an introvert (those who recharge by being alone) or an extrovert (those who feel energized from being around other people)?
  • Do you hold grudges?
  • Have you ever struggled with addiction?
  • Have you ever been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship?
  • Do you think a relationship can come back from cheating?
  • What is your deal breaker in relationships?
  • Who was your role model growing up?
  • When you were a kid, what career did you want to have?
  • In your life when have you most felt alone?
  • What is your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon?
  • What is your favorite holiday?
  • What is the best present you've ever received?
  • What did you and your friends do for fun in middle school?
  • Did you have any pets growing up?
  • What is your happiest childhood memory?
  • If you could cook any dish perfectly, what would you choose?
  • When you're having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
  • What toy did you always want as a kid, but no one ever bought for you?
  • Did you ever sleep with stuffed animals?
  • What sound do you love?
  • What are your favorite scents?
  • What candy do you hate?
  • What is your favorite karaoke song?
  • What was your favorite thing to do when you are free?
  • What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
  • Whats your worst memory of being in school,work and life in general?
  • What is your happiest childhood memory?
  • When you're having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
  • What is the weirdest reason you ever broke up with someone?
  • When was the time you laughed the hardest?
  • When is the last time you cried?
  • If you could listen to only one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?
  • What celebrities have you met?
  • What word do you hate?
  • What is your pop culture guilty pleasure?
  • What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?
  • What is the weirdest thing you've ever bought?
  • Who would you rather hire: a personal trainer, a personal chef, or a housekeeper?
  • What would you do if you could be a woman/man for a day?
  • What is the one movie you've seen more times than you can count?
  • If a movie was being made about your life, what actor would play you? What actress would play your love interest?
  • What were you like in high school?
  • What fictional character do you relate to the most?
  • Would you rather be hot or cold?
  • If you could be born in a different decade, what decade would you choose?
  • What is your favorite part about being an adult?
  • In an ideal world, how many times would you have sex in a week?
  • What is something you've always wanted to try in bed?
  • Have you ever had/would you ever have a threesome?
  • Have you ever been attracted to a person of the same sex?
  • How did you lose your virginity?
  • What is your number one sexual fantasy? Would you ever do it in real life?
  • Where is your favorite place to have sex outside of the bedroom?
  • Have you ever been walked in on during sex? Have you ever walked in on someone else?
  • What is the craziest thing you've ever been asked to do in bed? Did you do it?
  • How do you feel about porn? What kind of porn do you like?
  • What is your favorite sexual position? 
  • What is your least favorite sexual position?
  • What are your most sensitive erogenous zones that don't always get attention? (Nipples, ears, neck, etc.)
  • What is your favorite part about sex? (Foreplay, teasing, penetration, oral sex, pillow talk, etc.)
  • If we were going to role play, who would you want me to dress up as?
  • What sex toy have you been dying to try?
  • What words or sexy phrases turn you on?
  • What is the weirdest thing that turns you on?
  • What would you change about your childhood? 
  • What would you never change about your childhood?
  • Have you ever gotten anyone pregnant? How did you handle it?
  • What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
  • What five toxic traits do you have?
  • Have you ever cheated on anyone? 
  • Haveyou ever been cheated on?
  • What is your biggest regret?
  • Who are you jealous of?
  • What is the biggest misconception people have about you?
  • Have you ever spent the night in jail?
  • Have you ever been to therapy?
  • Have you ever had to break up with a friend?
  • Are you friends with any of your exes?
  • What bad habit do you have that you would you like to break?
  • Have you ever snooped on a partner?
  • When was the last time you cried?
  • Have you ever had your heart broken?
  • What was the most difficult time in your life?
  • Is it ever okay to lie?
  • What do you like most about yourself?
  • What is the biggest risk you've ever taken?
  • What is the hardest decision you've ever made?
  • What is more important in a relationship: an emotional connection or a physical connection?
  • Out of your friends and family, whose relationship do you admire the most?
  • What is the most important quality you look for in a partner?
  • What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  • What do you love about me?
  • What worries you about me?
  • What is the sexiest thing a partner can wear?
  • What is your ideal date?
  • What couples Halloween costume have you always wanted to do?
  • Would you move to a new city for your partner?
  • Do you keep mementos from past relationships? (Cards, notes, photos, gifts)
  • What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever done to impress someone?
  • Do you prefer privacy or are you an open book?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • What is your favorite part about dating?
  • Do you believe in fate?
  • What is the biggest sacrifice you've ever made for a relationship?
  • What is your favorite love song?
  • Do you us getting married?


Saturday, January 23, 2021


Hit the link below to check out my first podcast series 10 stories in 10 days . 
Available for streaming on all the above platforms.
Don't forget to Follow ,Like and share it with anyone you feel can benefit from it. 
#untoldlivesofwomenkenyapodcast #podcastkenya #kenyanpodcast #podcastlife #podcaster

Saturday, January 9, 2021


I call her my little queen.
She may be little for now but I know I am raising a queen and I want her to know it from an early age and never forget it.I named her after a flower which ironically is the only flower i can draw and have always drawn .Im not too good at drawing maybe thats why i write so much because i can describe  how i feel better than i can draw.

She is a true flower she blossoms and lights up a room and even in the hardest of times ,she still blooms. Just like the flower I named her after.

To be the person with the sweetest name. 
A name that carries the most sacrifice.
Motherhood is a beautiful journey.
A journey your never truly ready for nomatter how prepared you think you are.
Filled with many twists and turns but what remains is the special bond you form with your child. 
From the moment you feel them move in your tummy. The nine months you walk together where you know you are not alone.
You share your food ,your body, your emotions.

To when you hear their first cry. As the nurse gives them to you and you hold them for the first time in your arms .
Those precious moments and the emotional rollercoaster involved from fear, to pain, to joy and everything in-between .It binds you to them for eternity.

You find your strength in them,You learn how strong you truly are.
Looking into their beautiful eyes and wonder how it is possible to create such beauty and innocence.
How beautifully they fit in your arms and how peaceful they look and it is through that peace that you learn patience and perseverance.
You also finally get to see ,feel and understand exactly what love is.

The pain ,the scars ,the sleepless nights when they fall ill, the constant pressure to be better.the bills
Sometimes overwhelm and make us doubt the process and the journey .
However, on those days ride out the wave for as long as it takes. But don't allow it to burry you alive.
Know that it is all worth it because, you get to give someone else a chance at life . 
It's hard because you have to keep delivering but isn't that the best challenge . 
Nothing worth while ever came easy.
You have to put up with the rain to see the rainbow.

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