Dan Oswald said,''communication must be H.O.T that means ,Honest ,Open and Two way.
Being in a relationship can be draining . Especially if you cannot meet eye to eye on different issues. To meet someone and fall in love is simple and happens often.
However falling in love with someone and choosing to stay them and whether all the storms that come your way together is something that fewer and fewer people are willing to do
One thing i can vouch for, above everything i have learnt ,about relationships is that.
Their is nothing more fulfilling than having a heart-filled conversation ,and being able to look at the person lovingly at the end of it all. For years i suffered the curse of bad communication and i made alot of mistakes ,based on the fact that i never understood alot ,about our relationship .As well as ,realizing how much i had assumed and how much i had mis-interpreted. which was not the case .
However ,after we sat down and realized we love each other and will always want to be involved in each others lives .We started talking and now we talk about everything . We talk more now ,than we did when we met.
Communication in a relationship is extremely important because it acts as the judge, jury and executioner who has the final say on whether your relationship lives or dies.
Today the biggest problem in all forms of relationships is that .When it comes to communicating each others needs ,people don't listen to understand what is being said. They listen to reply and they miss out on what was actually being said..
Being able to communicate effectively can also stop needless arguments which occur regularly in your relationships.If you keep on fighting about the same things.Its because you both have not listened and dealt with the issue in the first place .The only way you can heal each other is by listening to the needs of each other.
Listening is a very important part of effective communication. A good listener can encourage their partner to talk openly and honestly.To create a conducive environment for open communication you can;-
- keep comfortable eye contact (where culturally appropriate)
- lean towards the other person and make gestures to show interest and concern
- have an open, non-defensive, fairly relaxed posture with your arms and legs uncrossed
- face the other person – don’t sit or stand sideways
- sit or stand on the same level to avoid looking up to or down on the other person
- avoid distracting gestures such as fidgeting with a pen, glancing at papers, or tapping your feet or fingers
- be aware that physical barriers, noise or interruptions will make good communication difficult. Mute telephones or other communication devices to ensure you are really listening
- let the other person speak without interruption
- show genuine attention and interest
- use assertive statements like ‘I feel …. about …’, ‘What I need is…’
- be aware of your tone.speak clear and calmly
- be prepared to take time out if you are feeling really angry about something. It might be better to calm down before you address the issue
- ask for feedback from the other person on your listening.
Open and clear communication can be learnt. (We are human and our brains can be trained to do anything.)
Some people find it hard to talk and may need time and encouragement to express their views. These people may be good listeners, or they may be people whose actions speak louder than their words.
You can help to improve your communication by:
You can help to improve your communication by:
- building companionship – sharing experiences, interests and concerns with your partner, and showing affection and appreciation.
- sharing intimacy – intimacy is not only a sexual connection. Intimacy is created by having moments of feeling close and attached to your partner. It means being able to comfort and be comforted, and to be open and honest. An act of intimacy can be as simple as bringing your partner a cup of tea because you can tell they are tired
- being on the same page as your partner. It’s important that you and your partner are both in agreement on key issues in your relationship, such as how finances are distributed, what key goals you have and your parenting styles.
To improve the way you communicate, start by asking questions such as:
- What things cause conflict between you and your partner? Are they because you are not listening to each other?
- What things bring you happiness and feelings of connection?
- What things cause you disappointment and pain?
- What things don’t you talk about and what stops you talking about them?
- How would you like your communication with your partner to be different?
If possible, ask these questions with your partner and share your responses. Consider, and try, ways to communicate differently. See whether the results improve your communication. When you are more aware of how you communicate, you will be able to have more control over what happens between you. While it may not be easy at first, opening up new areas of communication can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.
- Avoid using the silent treatment.
- Don’t jump to conclusions. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives.
- Discuss what actually happened. Don’t judge.
- Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other.
- Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.
- Concentrate on the major problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor problems.
- Talk about the problems that hurt your or your partner’s feelings, then move on to problems about differences in opinions.
- Use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements.
if one person is upset the house becomes hard to be in.
if one person is not satisfied they cannot satisfy you.
if one person is not happy it is the beginning of disaster.
LOVE IS EASY AND SO IS FALLING OUT OF IT. THE KEY TO HAPPINESS IS COMMUNICATION.
MY LOVELY READERS IN ALL YOU DO LOVE , LIVE ,LEARN LAUGH TOGETHER AND NEVER STOP ACTUALIZING YOUR DREAMS.