INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

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Monday, August 14, 2017

DO YOU NOT KNOW THE GREATNESS THAT LIES WITHIN YOU AS A WOMAN

DO YOU DOUBT YOUR POWER AS THE WOMAN THAT GIVES LIFE
It seems that as women ,we have forgotten how much of an impact we have in the world, in our country and in our household.
Take back control of your household.  
Your son is outside risking his life ,for a cause that seems to only lead to the grave .
Your husband , spends so much time working on what is important to him .
He chases thrill ,because you have lost who you where and has gone astray from you.
He is no longer by your side as he is supposed to be. 

You  have become sad and distant .Giving your life to the kids or your nosy friends who want  nothing good for you.   
You believe in the Alejandro's you see in those soap-opera's you watch .You have deluded yourself with fantasies of men that don't even exist. 
A man becomes what you make him.


Just as Adam risked it all for a bite of the apple eve gave. So will a good man do for you . 
Till death does you part is not a curse. It allows you to have the rest of your lives to get it right.
In the home. Men benefit the most from the woman's Brain power.
 
''The woman is a home builder. A wise woman builds her house, But a foolish woman pulls it down with her hands." 
 How well are you building your home? Or because of trends and friends you are being foolish and pulling it down with your own hands.  
To build a happy home successfully,  a woman has a major role to play.

I like this verse that says "A Godly woman is a strong and capable woman. She is wise and she is righteous. she is valuable to her husband and her family. Proverbs 31;10"

To understand the role of women within the family, and in building a happy home. It  is important to understand the background in which the woman was created. The  bible describes Eve as a helper (Genesis 2:18 ). The bible also affirms that God created Adam from “the dust of the ground” (Genesis 2:7). Then, from “the rib  He made Eve .  The first woman Eve,is described  as a help  for the man.  To build a happy home, a woman should bear in mind the purpose for which she was created and set for herself definite goals to fulfill that purpose.

It is evident all around us, that we have lost control of our homes. One look at our country and you wonder, Do these people have mothers?, Who's mother lets their child leave the house like that?,How did people's thinking get so demented.
Look around you and you see that as women we are failing in our role . We have focused so much in surviving the changes and demands of the world that we have forgotten to keep our households on lock.




Sunday, August 13, 2017

IN MY HUMBLE HOME

I DO IT FOR THEM AND  I HOPE THEY KNOW IT.


 Its Monday .I hear the sound of the neighbors cock crowing.
I turn my head and look at my family sleeping beside me.
My son is on the edge of the mattress with his feet ,touching the cold cement floor.
My daughter ,holding on to her mother as they both sleep peacefully.
I lay awake barely covered because i, could only afford one blanket and it barely covers us .
My heart fills with joy .Knowing we have a roof over our heads and ,that last night we had dinner .
In our house, we eat our dinner in one big plate .
That way, we know we are equal and ,we have to be mindful of each spoonful ,we each take.

I have to get ready to leave for work.
I wish i didn't have to .My body still aches from the heavy lifting at  the construction site.
''Mkubwa' is paying us peanuts to build him his families retirement home.
He tells us to be careful and if we get injured ''tujisort.''
Last week, one of the building stones fell on one of our colleagues head and he didn't make it.
To him construction helmets where too expensive.
He paid for his funeral expenses and gave his widow and 4 kids 100,000ksh ''wajisort''

Despite my aches and pains.
I do what i need to do for my family. The little i have is for them.
To ensure we can live in this room , have food to eat and have warm clothes over our body'
During this cold season because, the ''mabati'' roof and walls let in the cold.
I take one more look at them and i almost choke.
They deserve better than what life has served us.
I  give my wife a good bye kiss and as i leave she says
''NAKUPENDA MILELE''

She is the source of my strength and i will do it all for them.
One day i will be a ''mkubwa'' and she will be my queen.
But today my feel and my hands will be covered in red soil 
to ensure until we get there 
our today is better than our yesterday.
 
Dear Kenyans, don't let your actions of today hinder your tomorrows success
.Dear Kenyan woman, keep your man safe and out of harms way you have the power.
Dear Kenyan man, be wise and fight for your family above all else.


Thursday, August 10, 2017

WHAT I WISH I WAS TOLD BEFORE MOVING IN

THE BEAUTY OF LOVE IS TO LOVE THROUGH PAIN

Also read my previous article, marriage/ love is not bed of roses.

Love is to accept the fault, and bury the blame.That quote has stuck with me because,"Pain doesn't mean the absence of love .
Struggling is everywhere, it doesn't get easier if  you change the person . Everyone carries their own baggage and when two people come to live together .You then have to learn how to make each other one unit, and that is the point individual baggage tends to break people apart.learning each others flaws and accepting them and finding away to operate as a unit is hard work.

To commit fully to a person, and ride the waves till the end doesn’t mean, it will be a bed of roses .
When you date a person, it is to figure out compatibility and when the time comes for you to make the decision. You choose what you are willing to live with and what you are not.

When you live with someone ,you get to see the real them . How they react to problems from bills.How they react to seeing you every single moment .With the only moments of privacy you get are in the bathroom or when they are out of the house.Or even how you react when their friends come over and you cant walk around the house freely, Or event how you have family over and your budget is yelling OH NOOOO!!!!

Living together is the true test of relationships in my opinion. If your Words don’t complement actions . There will always be little or no peace at all because communication is what helps relationships and the lack of it creates trouble which leads to distance.Living in the same house with someone when your mad at each other is a night mare because you wish the fight could be over and it usually takes longer.

Insecurities and fears are what do the worst damage. Sometimes the problem is not the love but who the person is to you.By that i mean if you love the person any little thing they do will always have an effect, and we tend to read into it too  much . Which is why don't always listen to what your mind tells you .Learn when to shut it down your own negativity.

All that matters is who you choose to wake up next to  because if you sacrifice who you love who you love  becomes the sacrifice .love is sacrifice . Loving someone doesn't stop because you stop seeing them u only carry them with you  even more.So when that voice inside you yells you need to move out . Take a moment and analyze your feelings be sober in your decision making because the reasons that pulled you together in the first place . Could be the same things that either keep you together or pull you apart.
Also don't let how people feel about you influence how you feel about them. Love cannot be forced the heart wants what the heart wants.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

NOBODY IS GOING TO LOVE YOU LIKE YOUR KIDS

ENJOY THE LITTLE MOMENTS NOW TOMORROW THEY WILL BE DISTANT MEMORIES
I was recently told a story about a woman, who sold her mansion to educate her two children abroad and now  lives ,on the out skirts of town in a one bedroom house. All this because ,she wants the best for her kids and believes in  their dreams.

Her story warmed my heart, because as a parent i know that, there is nothing i wouldn't do to ensure my child's future is bright.
If your child believed  that because they saw it in your actions .Do you think they would take that opportunity for granted!
As adults ,we all have that moment where we wished our parents, believed in us a little more at some point in your childhood.  We also know how we felt at that moment .So why would we want our children to feel the same?

Having a child is a lifetime commitment. I once read a quote that said ,"Children bring the most joy and the most sorrow." This because you will constantly worry about them till you die.

What i have found that, most parents myself included.tend to forget is , "Children DO NOT choose to be born. WE CHOOSE to have them"
Having a child means that you will provide for them the best you can.Treat them the way they deserve .Love them unconditionally and correct them when they need it ,by showing them the right paths and by leading by example.

If your child grows up constantly afraid of the insults you give them when they mess up, or generally just in fear of you .It hinders open channels of communication and they will not be honest with you.They will eventually strive to leave your house and focus on their own .To get out of your way  without looking back.

However, if you treat your child in ways that allow friendship .That your child knows that you will always be their for them .Without judging them but at the same time they can still distinguish parenthood from this friendship . Your child wouldn't strive to run away from you (or want to leave home and move in with someone in order to escape home)and will take care of you when you grow old because ,it is when you are old that you realize if the impact you had in your child's life was positive or negative and even then ,it is never too old to reconcile if you have regrets and things you would like to tell them.
Because as long as they are alive you can resolve your issues, and if they are not alive you cant blame them we are all human and each of us lives our life to our best ability. It just depends if your best was good enough.

When we are young. We lived to take care of our selves . We took care of our own needs to keep us satisfied,and as we left our parents house. We then learnt what it means to take care of another. Sometimes we often put our own needs second, because it is in our nature. The reason we do this is because we evolve from self awareness to the awareness of those around us and those we care about.. .
In conclusion,Treat your children better than you where treated because a child's love for their parents is genuine it is pure love a child will never turn their back on you if you never turned their back on you . Our children later end up taking care of us.

Nobody can love your child more than you do, and nobody can give your child their best .It is only you, who knows how much they mean to you and how important their joy is.




Sunday, August 6, 2017

TO GIVE LOVE YOU MUST LOVE YOU FIRST

EMBRACE THE GLORIOUS MESS THAT YOU ARE.YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE
working on your self confidence
being happy starts with you
Confidence doesn't mean self-confidence. It doesn't mean human cleverness, It doesn't even mean being smarter than other people. It means to be secure in yourself. To have self-assurance.

I was once asked what is my story!
What is it that inspires me to do the things that i do, and to write the way i do and be honest, i couldn't answer  the question immediately .Not because i didn't know what inspires me. What is the source of  my depth but because .I didn't want to admit to myself ,that all that i had been through ,has brought me to this point.Because i had a lot that i had reconciled with .A lot that i was not at peace with about my journey.

 It may seem small but to me it was a hurdle i had to jump over.I didn't want to give credit to my low moments in life. However my low moments did not break me they strengthened me .They brought me to a level where i had to re-adjust and be real with myself  and that is where i grew emotionally and mentally. Don't let your past make you re-live it in your future. Because in life the unresolved issues and fears tend to let you live life in a loop .They re occur until you deal with them and grow. So  grow enrich yourself with experience because it will inspire someone else.

Learn to love yourself .Be happy with who you are and be proud of all you have been through because that is God's way of making you into the person you are meant to be

So today i ask you what is your story?What is it that has made you into who you are today ? and what is it that is stopping you from progressing into the you you want to be The you that you accept and love unconditionally.

LIVE, LOVE YOU, LEARN AND NEVER STOP DREAMING.
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Thursday, August 3, 2017

WHEN YOUR OWN THOUGHTS BRING YOU DOWN

If i could run .
Not too far ,but far enough.
I would sit beside myself .
Where my thoughts are not as loud.
I would hold myself because ,i know what it is like to be in my own body .
Numb.
Where i am paralyzed by fear and nobody knows.
Where my thoughts tear me down.
Where i am not good enough .
Where i am not pretty enough.
Where i feel alone .
Lost and a disappointment
Nobody knows what it is like to live in my skin .
All they see is the glam i portray.
I would look myself in the eyes and understand the pain .
I wouldn't shy away from the mirror like i normally do.
Because i am not in pain .
I am not broken .
I am not in the body that gives me nightmares.
Beside myself .I can get to enjoy the sound of the birds.
Beside myself. I get to appreciate what i am without my head making me doubt my own thoughts.
Beside myself. I am free to be who i am and free to be who i am not.
Beside myself. I give myself reassurance. Because i now i am not alone.

Now i realise something that i had not realized before.
I have been inside my self as i thought these thoughts.
It felt as though  i was beside myself .
When all i had done is silence the deathly thoughts.

Now i know to be myself i need to silence the voices and dare to dream .
Dare to be free.
It doesnt matter where i am or what has happened to me all that matters is,
I FIND THAT VOICE WITHIN MYSELF.
THE VOICE THAT WANTS THE BEST FOR ME,AND REACH TOWARDS IT
BECAUSE THAT IS THE VOICE THAT FREES ME AND ENABLES ME TO LIVE .

SHE LOVED SO MUCH THAT SHE LOST HERSELF.


DON'T LOOSE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.


You're in love with him. You are head-over-heels for a man that is making you into a woman you don't recognize. 
You've always prided yourself on not caring what others thought about you.
You took pride in knowing what you wanted to do with the rest of your life.
You were confident in who you were and who you wanted to be. 
You were the woman that had it all together.

Then, you fell in love...
You fell for a man that began to change who you were. It's not his fault though. You began to change because you wanted to make him happy, not because he asked you to. 

You knew exactly what you wanted out of life. You knew what career you wanted, where you wanted to live.You did what you loved . You lived and where free to be you. but you changed . You called it growing up. You called it your ROLE as a woman.

You aren't as confident in yourself.
The person that you are now, you don't seem to recognize. You are not being true to you but being true to everyone else you take care of. 
Your voice is silent .You silenced it. You have put your dreams on hold to let those around you shine. You have given up a lot for people who do not even recognize your efforts .The same people that think you need to give even more of yourself because you are still not doing enough. 
Your no longer the ball of energy that people fell in love  with. You have lost everything that made you stand out .Everything that made you special. You have faded into the background and even you don't find you attractive

So, now you're second guessing yourself. 
That's because this person isn't you...
This is who you think he needs you to be. This is the woman that you feel like you have to be to earn his love.
Nobody is worth losing yourself over.
Once you lose yourself, you lose your worth. You become a woman you don't recognize and have a hard time believing in. You become someone  that can't stand to look herself in the mirror because you'll see the face of the woman you used to be.That will forever haunt you.

You should never lose yourself to the man you love. You shouldn't have to become someone else to earn his love or respect. So, take a long look in the mirror and become you again. 
Embrace yourself, because you are worth so much more than you realize. You deserve so much more.Love you first then everyone around you will see your worth again and will treat you better because you respect you.
If you haven't found her already, you deserve to find yourself and know that the man you love fell in love with who you where when he met you .
When you loose you he also loses apart of you.

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