Reflecting in your own life, I am sure we have that couple or that one person we think about as being the most amazing mum/dad/family . If not our own parents, because you have seen/witnessed the love,sacrifice and time they have invested in their children.
That being said I am sure you also know of a person male or female that has a child and that's pretty much about it.
Here is one of the definitions available parent and parenthood.
- Parent-A female person whose egg unites with a sperm or a male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child or the birth of a child. Or a person that adopts a child
- Parenthood-the state of being a parent and the responsibilities involved.
At the end of the day, regardless of whether or not someone is a dead beat or not a child biologically originates from two people,and the child deserves the love, support and security of those around them and especially the two that helped conceive him/her.
Too many children are being brought up by single parents, and I salute them all because it is a tough job. Some of the main reasons I have found are
- They are unable to provide for them financially .Those who therefore could not provide shy away from their responsibilities and their children.
- Some are barred from seeing them, or because the relationship with their mother/father floundered and in turn severed their relationship.
- Some cases gender based violence causes a parents rights to the child to be revoked.
- Some parents struggle to get access to them because their mothers are now involved in a new relationship.
- Some parents who were able to pay maintenance but defaulted on these payments as they just neglect the fact that they are some innocent child's mother or father.
A survey done by Dr Eddy Mavungu from south africa found that fathers who had some emotional contact with their children were more likely to support their children,The fathers thrived on the emotional support and they were more motivated than those who had no contact.
That emotional support is very important.Valuing a father’s /mothers emotional connection with the child may be, in some circumstances, the most effective way to promote their economic contribution“The relationship between a father/mother and child cannot be put down to money.
However, realistically a child cannot survive on just love . That is where each individual needs to do their absolute best, and do whatever is necessary to provide financially,and where one is not able they should take up other roles to ensure it balances out.If both men and women did this, it was likely to result in greater involvement of fathers in their children’s lives.
Children from single homes have the perception that they were missing out,. “In some severe cases, they even have the feeling of being abandoned,” What many did not realise, was that the relationship between a father and child was not only beneficial to the child, but the positive value of the interaction also benefited the father.
Some fathers say that they feel like women ignored other functions that they could play in a child’s life, practically and emotionally.It was important to move beyond the role of being a provider and also being the moral teacher and having an emotional connection to their children. Mothers need to be encouraged to include fathers in their child’s life, as barring the child from their father could cause unnecessary damage to a child.
Some parents many of whom had fathers/mothers absent from their own lives blamed failure and misfortune in their lives on not having them around and are concerned that their children would end up in a similar predicament as it can be a viscous cycle. Half of them did not have daily contact with them and many end up struggling in the role of a father because they never had this role model growing up. Thus acknowledging that their absence had a negative impact on their ability to relate with their own children.
It is desirable to have both parents in a child’s life, there are more benefits attached . It produces the type of socialization which is important for a child. It helps improve life skills and levels of emotional stability. It helps them normalise perspectives of life.
Ask yourself this!I'm sure the answers will surprise you.
- What contributions to your child's physical emotional spiritual have you made
- If you died today what would your child remember you for
How has parenting changed you
The whole purpose of being involved in your child’s life is about attachment and the bonding that takes place
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