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Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Saturday, July 30, 2016


sources of this post are wikipedia ,,
The word feminist or feminism is always met with criticism and negativity ,because some people have used the word to push for their own agendas .Without being true to the feminist ideologies, or the few extremists .Who do not believe in the equality but push the message of women being superior .Which has led alot of people to dismissing feminism.
So today i write this post with the help of external links to show you what feminism is truly about with misconceptions how  will you see that feminism is not a dirty word .

Feminist a person who believes in feminism.

Feminism is a range of political movements,ideologies and social movements that share a common goal to define ,establish and achieve political economic personal and social rights for women that are equal to those of men .(hence the term equality not superiority) .Feminists advocate or support the rights and equality of women.Through activism which is campaigning to bring out the social and cultural changes needed and through empowerment which is by giving women the tools and an enabling environment with guidelines to succeed 

Feminist movements campaign for women's rights ie;to vote ,work,equal pay,receive education equal rights within a marriage ,maternity leave,protect women girls and from rape sexual harassment or domestic violence some advocate for inclusion of mens rights as some traditional roles have been imposed on them at an age where tradition has little space in the current society. 
Emerged from feminist movements which aimed to understand the nature of gender inequality by examining women's social roles and lived experiences to develop theories in a variety of disciples in order to respond to issues such as social construction of gender. some forms of feminism have been criticized for taking into account only the white middle class and educated perspectives which led to the creation of multicultural feminism including   Black_feminism and Intersectionality feminism.
Although feminists disagree on various issues one thing they all strive to achieve is
  • Expanding human choice . feminists believe that both men and women should have the freedom to develop their human interests and talents even if they conflict with the status quo
  • Eliminating gender stratification by opposing laws and cultural norms that limit freedom's and rights
  • Increase equality by pushing for change instead of just talking about it
  • End sexual violence & promote sexual freedom that women should have control over their sexuality

Liberal Feminism

This is the variety of feminism that works within the structure of mainstream society to integrate women into that structure.  

Radical Feminism

Provides the bulwark of theoretical thought in feminism.  Radical feminism provides an important foundation for the rest of "feminist flavors".  Seen by many as the "undesirable" element of feminism, Radical feminism is actually the breeding ground for many of the ideas arising from feminism; ideas which get shaped and pounded out in various ways by other (but not all) branches of feminism.

This term refers to the feminist movement that sprung out of the civil rights and peace movements in 1967-1968.  The reason this group gets the "radical" label is that they view the oppression of women as the most fundamental form of oppression, one that cuts across boundaries of race, culture, and economic class.  This is a movement intent on social change, change of rather revolutionary proportions.

Marxist and Socialist Feminism

Marxism recognizes that women are oppressed, and attributes the oppression to the capitalist/private property system.  Thus they insist that the only way to end the oppression of women is to overthrow the capitalist system.  Socialist feminism is the result of Marxism meeting radical feminism.   Echols offers a description of socialist feminism as a marriage between Marxism and radical feminism, with Marxism the dominant partner.  Marxists and socialists often call themselves "radical," but they use the term to refer to a completely different "root" of society: the economic system.  [JD]

Cultural Feminism

As radical feminism died out as a movement, cultural feminism got rolling.  In fact, many of the same people moved from the former to the latter.  They carried the name "radical feminism" with them, and some cultural feminists use that name still.  The difference between the two is quite striking: whereas radical feminism was a movement to transform society, cultural feminism retreated to vanguard-ism, working instead to build a women's culture.  Some of this effort has had some social benefit: rape crisis centers, for example; and of course many cultural feminists have been active in social issues (but as individuals, not as part of a movement).


 This branch of feminism is much more spiritual than political or theoretical in nature.  It may or may not be wrapped up with Goddess worship and vegetarianism.  Its basic tenet is that a patriarchal society will exploit its resources without regard to long term consequences as a direct result of the attitudes fostered in a patriarchal/hierarchical society.  Parallels are often drawn between society's treatment of the environment, animals, or resources and its treatment of women.  In resisting patriarchal culture, eco-feminists feel that they are also resisting plundering and destroying the Earth.  And vice-versa



John Holmes once said," there is no better exercise than reaching down and lifting someone else."
The human aspect in us that wants better for each other . Whereby we put our own needs and issues aside to help someone else without knowing who they are. That just makes the un corrupted side of the human spirit visible and i would like to think that we have all had that experience.
 At work,on the road,at home,in a social media group or even at a bar .Where we have met a person who seemed troubled and went on to ask them. If they are ok and offered to help.
Or the reverse and have been in a situation where you needed help or just a good conversation to help you move along on this path that life has set us on ,and someone approached you and made a difference in your life  even though they didn't know who you are they still showed you kindness that felt like it was God sent at that specific moment in time .Everything does happen for a reason and only lasts a season.It is never a mistake our creator knows the intentions of our heart and he knows our needs and more often than not he will send someone into your life to remind you that.

One thing i was told was that the needs,wants and problems we have in this world today haven't changed and on deeper thought i came to see it true ,because their is nothing you can go through that someone else hasn't been through .The reason for that is so we can help each other face the situation or be there knowing the right words that they may need because we do learn from experience.
When you may have an idea and feel it is unique. Someone else is probably thinking it too. The reason for that is simple we are of one race the human race .the difference in skin colour or culture is superficial because we are all wired the same and that's what makes us care for one another.When you feel the urge to help someone do it because you may be the strength that person needed to go on.,and as you do it .Do it out of the kindness of your heart not to be show-ey or to have a story to talk  about .Caring isn't expensive . Anne Frank said "nobody has ever become poor by giving.'' Kindness goes a long way and it inspires us ,to want to help people or pass on the kindness and if everyone could do that the world would be a bit more peaceful.

I will end this post by thanking all the people I have met that have inspired me helped me discover myself. Have given me hope when I was at a low point.One thing i have learnt is that "What we do for ourselves dies with us but what we do for others remains and is immortal."

Monday, July 11, 2016




To wake up every morning with a smile on your face because you love what you do is something we all want. However very few of us get the chance to do so, either because there is nobody to support the dream,lack of finances or just plain fear of the unknown
 I believe everyone should have the chance to do what they love, we owe it to ourselves.If more people set out to do what they enjoyed doing ,instead of becoming a slave to the system .We would all be a lot more happier.
 That's one thing they didn't tell us, when we finished high school a lot of us persevere through the 844 system .Only to realise, that looking for a job and actually getting one you love is a mere impossibility and often more than not.We end up , going into offices we loath ,our passion fades away and we become part of a system that drains us instead of allowing us to live the dreams we once had.

That said, if you where given an opportunity to be able to the things you love doing and someone was willing to organise summits ,where you can interact with people in the fields you hope to venture into and ask them for advise brainstorm and even stand a chance to win money to fund your idea. sound like something out of a movie script. However it is now a reality.

#BLAZE by Safaricom has now created an avenue for young dreamers to be able to do that through (Be Your Own Boss)B.Y.O.B is a youth empowerment platform that takes mentor ship summits to various regions of the country in which the youth will be able to tell their stories share their ambitions,interact with mentors. who give advise, inspiration and guide you on your journey to achieve your goals  while chasing your dreams.If you are wondering what blaze is all about.How you can join and find out how it can help you click here

This past weekend they had a summit in Thika .Where  various mentors involved in the #BLAZE movement from various fields where put in different  pods which included the Media and Journalism zone, Fashion Zone, Music Zone, Business Zone, Photography Zone, Social Enterprise Zone, Creative Arts Zone, Job Market Training Zone, Finance Zone, Technology and Agriculture zones.. Some of the mentors included  :-
Catherine Mburu from Brighter Monday in the job training pod Dorine Mweke.
Anita Ndru, Nick Mutuma in the Journalism and Media pod.
Kennedy Carington from Ogilvy in the Technology pod.
Mutua Matheka and Thandiwe Muriu in the Photography pod.
Andrew Kio and Wilkins Fadhili in the Fashion pod.
In the Creative Arts pod artist Smokile.
Wangechi Mwangi and Kate Nganga In the Social Enterprises pod.
Agriculture pod had Eric Muthomi and Sylvia Tonui .

  Its always important to do what makes you happy it makes your experience on earth much more pleasant .one thing that a lot of the mentors kept urging the crowed of over 2000 young campus goers was that you should  never give up on your dreams , Mutua Matheka even went ahead and said"it is possible to fall behind on your bills(rent)".

 However its only for a short while everything in life has its ups and downs the bad moments are fewer than the good they just seem to over weigh the good .There is something magical that happens when you watch someone talk passionately about what they do and watch their face light up after all isnt that what a job is supposed to be

 I will end this post by saying this the things we regret most in life are the things we never do and procrastination often lead s to a lot of those regrets .Nothing in life will fall into your laps you will have to work for it earn your stripes to come out on  top it may not happen as fast as we would like but thats the way it has to be you have to earn it to appreciate where you are coming from.Lets encourage the leaders of tommorrow to chase their dreams lets give them what we lacked .Support

find out about blaze products and services and join blaze today . click here

Wednesday, July 6, 2016



Writing this post I am reminded that nobody is guaranteed a tomorrow. Each breath we take could be our last. Its just through the grace of our creator that we are alive, hence we have to take advantage of the time you have now. we have time while we are still alive to achieve all we hope for.

Taking control of your self-confidence is a way to get all that done. How do I do that? Well here are a few ways.

  • Groom yourself,dressing in a way that makes you feel confident. It goes a long way in boosting your confidence . You have to look the part to be the part.

  • Take risks.Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes after wards. ~Christopher Kaminski.

 I realized the only way out was through. You have to crawl, walk, fall, and repeat to get comfortable with vulnerability and conflict. I made tons of mistakes, and a lot of it hurts. But I live a peopled life now, and it’s worth all the discomfort it took to get here.
People are more apt to see you how you want to be seen if they suspect you see yourself that way.

  • Kill negative thoughts. You need to be able to say NO. To the negativity that surrounds you or speaks to you.You are great and nothing should hinder that.Put your thoughts in their place.The average human has 65,000 thoughts every day, Blalock says, and 85 to 90 percent of them are negative--things to worry about or fear. "They're warnings to yourself,left over from our cave-dwelling past." It makes sense ,if we stick our hand in a flame our brain wants to make sure we don't ever do that again. But this survival mechanism works against us because it causes us to focus on fears rather than hopes or dreams

  • Get to know yourself. Fall in love with yourself, love you for who you are and accept you for who your not because you have today to make tomorrow a reality.Learning who you are doesn’t happen overnight. For one thing, it can be hard to know which parts of you are you, and which parts are who you think you should be.

A good start is to identify your strengths and weaknesses and then weigh those against what you enjoy.It might help to list five things you do well that you enjoy and five things you’d like to do well. Make an effort to utilize some of the first list and work on some of the second every day. As you use your strengths and improve where there’s room to grow, you’ll develop both confidence and fulfillment simultaneously.

  • Think positively, our mind has a way of making us doubt ourselves I like to say always go with the first thought you had before your mind said no,most times its your insecurities that get in the way.You didn’t come out of the womb unsure of your cry or insecure about your large umbilical cord. You came out blissfully unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own experience and needs. I’m not suggesting that you should be oblivious to other people. It’s just that it may help to remember confidence was your original nature before time started ticking away at it. Once you developed a sense of self-awareness, you started forming doubts and insecurities .
When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.Know your strengths and weaknesses.
As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and also learn your weaknesses. ~Angela Birt.
 People often think confidence means knowing you can create the outcome you desire. To some extent it does, but this idea isn’t universally true for anyone. No matter how talented, smart, or capable you are, you cannot predict or control everything that happens in your life.Even confident people lose jobs, relationships, and sometimes, their health.

Confidence comes from knowing your competence but acknowledging it’s not solely responsible for creating your world. When you take that weight off your shoulders and realize that sometimes the twists and turns have nothing to do with what you did or should have done, it’s easier to feel confident in what you bring to the table.

"There are so many people that I've asked, 'What do you want to do? What do you want to be?' and they would say, 'I don't know. "Knowing what you want is the key. Everything else you do should be leading you where you want to go."Confidence comes from a space of humility. It is spawned when we dare to see the world through an alternate lens. It grows when we have the courage to embrace the experience of the unknown and the unknowable. ~Hana Lee

  • Fake it to make it. Act positive.and you will attract positive be a go getter. Once you do that on a regular it becomes you the you you hope to be.The point is to be aware that your brain works this way, and keep that negativity in proportion. "What you have to realize is your thoughts are just thoughts. They don't necessarily represent objective reality.

Begin the day by thinking about some of the things you have to be grateful for, Blalock advises. "Most of the 7 billion people in the world won't have the opportunities you do," she says. "If you start out with that perspective, you'll be in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day."

Take a daily step outside your comfort zone.There's a funny thing about comfort zones. If we step outside them on a regular basis, they expand. If we stay within them, they shrink. Avoid getting trapped inside a shrinking comfort zone by pushing yourself to do things that are outside it.We've all had experiences where we've done something that terrified us, and then discovered it wasn't so bad.
If you're running into opposition, questions, and doubts, there's probably a good reason--you're going somewhere. That doesn't mean you should ignore warning signs, but it does mean you should put those negatives in perspective. If you don't make changes, and challenge the status quo, no one will ever object to anything you do. Get ready to bounce back."It's not failure that destroys our confidence, it's not getting back up," "Once we get back up, we've learnt what doesn't work and we can give it another try." Taking more swings gets you where you want to go.

  • Find a mentor. Whatever you've set out to do, there are likely others who've done it first and can offer you useful advice or at least serve as role models. Find those people and learn as much from them as you can. Find a support system a positive one for that matter there is always someone to kick you when you are down and those are the people to avoid

  • Do your homework.In almost any situation, preparation can help boost your confidence. Have to give a speech? Practise it several times, record yourself, and listen. Meeting people for the first time? Check them and their organizations out on the Web, and check their social media profiles as well. "If you're prepared you will be more confident.The Internet makes it so easy."
  • Get plenty of rest and exercise.There's ample evidence by now that getting enough sleep, exercise, and good nutrition profoundly affects both your mood and your effectiveness. "Just moderate exercise three times a week for 20 minutes does so much for the body
  • Breathe!This one is so simple. If you breathe heavily, it saturates your brain with oxygen and makes you more awake and aware. It's very important in a tense situation because it will make you realize that you control your body, and not your unconscious mind. If you're not practising breathing, you should be."
  • Don't forget to ask for help."Don't assume people know what you want,"You have to figure out what that is, and then educate them."Once people know what you want, and that you want their help, you may be surprised at how forthcoming they are. "People are really flattered when you ask for advice and support," she says. "If someone says no you can always ask someone else. But in my experience, they rarely say no."
Tap into the confidence you were born with.I feel it’s something that is always there, something you’re born with that gets lost along the way, or stolen by others. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it again. ~Amy Lee Tempest

  • Expect success.Confidence comes from success…But confidence also combines another quality because you can be successful, yet lack confidence. It requires a mental attitude shift to an expectation of success. And this alone, can bring about more success, reinforcing the confidence. It spirals from there. ~Jason Hihn .It might seem strange to say expect success since you can’t predict the future.
Conventional wisdom suggests it’s smart to expect the worst because you won’t be disappointed if you fail and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you succeed. But research suggests this isn’t universally true. Pessimism can undermine your performance creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.Trust your capabilities.Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. ~Donn King

No one in the world knows everything. Everyone is good at some things and not so good at others. Don’t weigh your security against what you know or can do; weigh it against your willingness and capacity to learn.If someone criticizes you, take it is an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than you, see it as an opportunity to learn from them. If you fall short at something, realize you can get closer next time. Don’t worry if you’re not confident in what you can do now—be confident in your potential.
Confidence is earned through positive recognition and reinforcement. ~Don La FranchiIt
It can be practiced and with that practise you will get better. ~Jacqueline Wolven.

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