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Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Thursday, February 25, 2016


In some parts of Asia the drowning of infant girls were tolerated in poor rural areas as an economic necessity. the birth of women was met with ridicule and bitterness. This was because girls were seen as "just another mouth to feed". In African societies females had to comply with whatever decision the men came out with. A man was mostly measured by the number of women he had. Women were just a mere "collection" in a gallery.In Europe, the position of females depended on how whiter or how beautiful she was.

All of this despite the fact that She is the mother of mankind. Despite holding such an important and unquestionable position,the role of women has been defined by men over millennia.

Taking a moment to look back at the roles of women in the previous generation boys worked next to their fathers and girls learned by being at their mothers side .women where responsible for raising the children and maintaining the home ,land, and the extra food. The women were the head of the household.

During the industrial revolution many of the products women made at home were being made in factories,  but it was looked at as a respectable activity instead of a job. With the rise of production came factories which would recruit daughters of farm families to work and live in boarding houses, with a salary. The African employment opportunities were very limited partially due to their lack of education as slaves. In 1890 The African Americans in the factories more than doubled that of the white woman.That later changed
During World War I there was a higher demand for women in the work place. Since most males were fighting in the war the woman took the job as breadwinner and also maintained her household duties.

 After the war was over many women were laid off to open jobs for the men returning home. When World War II hit . The factories were in desperate need of workers, and yet again the women fulfilled this role. This time when the men returned from war and the women were pressured to leave the work world and enter back into the lives of a homemaker, they did not subside.
 The percentage of women in the work place continued to increase which brings us to date where more than ever Women have proven time and again they are capable of doing anything they set themselves to do.

 Rebecca West wrote this nearly 100 years ago. I am called a feminist when I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."Today women who want to differentiate themselves from doormats face some of the same problems. Yet Women are blamed as individuals for any failings in family or work life.

My heart literally breaks when I see what is becoming of our society. At a time when we have advanced so much in technology showing how far mentally we have progressed. The mentality that women are any less than than men just shows how it's been rooted so far that changing this cycle seems to actually need divine intervention.

Women's oppression is a product of class society. women developed a consciousness of their position and the ability to do something about it.Women suffer exploitation at work often being paid less than their male counterparts yet they are expected to shoulder the double burden of family and childcare.
Yet men are "thanked" for doing what they are meant to do. Are we serious are we that blind what kind of pedestal are we giving men?

 The role as wives and mothers has not disappeared but has been reinvented to fit in with the needs of exploitation. They are now expected to juggle all aspects of their lives and Although all women suffer oppression and face discrimination, their life experiences are radically different. Women are not united as a sex but are divided on the basis of class. Middle and upper class women share in the profits from the exploitative system in which we live and use this benefit to alleviate their own oppression. Working class women are usually the people who cook, clean and provide personal services for these women, receiving low wages and often neglecting their own families to do question again what is expected of men.what is their responsibility are Women meant to do all the hard work and men get the glory for it

Women are more than ever regarded as objects defined by their sexuality. The commercialization of sexuality with this culture of pole dancing clubs and its post modern Miss World contests keeps women being judged as sex objects as if nothing has changed since the 1950s. This objectification, alongside women's role as supposedly the property of men, leads to domestic violence, rape and sexual abuse.

We see this everyday and recently when a Kenyan police woman was assaulted by a white pilot and nobody came up to stop the man from doing what he was doing. People where focused on documenting the incident. Talk about pathetic. What is wrong with us where is our humanity honestly. I'm starting to think, we traded our humanity with animals because they behave much better.Animals fight for the attention of their female mates not fight the female.This abuse is under-recognized and under reported. It was only in the 1960s and 70s that these issues began to be viewed as political.

To control their own lives, women must control their own bodies and sexuality. Capitalist ideology priorities the family and the subordinate role of women and children within it, while at the same time forcing individual members of the family to sacrifice "family life" because of the pressures of work and migration.
 The priorities of the profit system and the existence of the privatized family mean that women's oppression is purely for the benefit of those in higher positions and this manipulation of women will not end until we all say enough is enough we are not puppets.

Monday, February 22, 2016


(GVRC) Gender Violence Recovery Center, Nairobi hospital branch adams arcade ,kirichwa rd off ngong rd +254721696214/0721760146

 Photography by josemarie nyagah IG mis_amethyst

There is a fine between knowing what people (women and men, young boys and girls )are going through and actually experiencing it first hand.

We all know of the immense sadness, harsh conditions and even trauma, that people are going through in terms of Rape, Domestic, emotional and physical violence.Empathy is felt but that's as far as it goes.As long as you are not directly affected it's not a a major concern.To me I think to overlook these experiences is to flatten our existence and to overlook the very lives we live that form us into who we are.

It saddens me, to see how although there are institutions that have been established, to create awareness and ensure that survivors get the help needed. To get their lives back on track and although we know about it and awareness has been created a lot is yet to be done because people are still living these lives in complete silence . Facing the truth is hard because it does hurt to acknowledge ,that you are suffering from the very symptoms. The signs are all there and although you may not be physically scared that doesn't mean you are not suffering. In most cases where there is no physical mark ,people assume they are ok they feel they are still in a safe environment, but as long as all the symptoms are there.It might only be a matter of time before it gets out of control and at that point it could end up tragically.

Many people are living in these conditions right under our noses ,and unless we identify the symptoms we will not be able to stop the re-occurring  cycle.  Women and men alike young boys and girls are struggling through these issues and  they need to deal with the issues that are affecting them. If they don't deal with them they hinder their own progress depriving the society of economic growth.we need to adopt the mentality of if i rise, u rise, we rise together.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016



Anyone can make themselves have a lighter complexion ,but nobody can become black.

we are unique we are special why would we want to take that away. why are we robbing ourselves of our rich heritage.

I am proud to be of African decent. I love my curly hair .I love the colour of my skin .I love the beauty that is Africa home to the the most beautiful natural resources ,animals, diamonds, gold ,and other gems.the cradle of man kind the first civilization.We Are undoubtedly blessed.

Writing this post has given me the opportunity to retrace our history and remind myself how far we have come,the sacrifice, the loss of lives,the journey black people have been on from slavery ,to colonization,to apartheid and fighting for our God given rights that where taken from us leaving us to wonder if we are any lesser than the rest of the world.fighting for independence and equality.
A fight that still goes on today.

Yet here we are in the 21st century we've lost our roots,our identity is slowly fading away. this generation is absorbing so much the western world is feeding us. Blindly accepting and not seeing that we are robbing our selves of our true identity

Over time the world has defined what physical beauty is. And more and more women have started to conform to those eludes me how We have let society dictate what we should consider beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder there is no way we can give a standard look to equate to is all around us look at our rich culture, and history the beauty in Egypt the most civilized people are of African roots.the wisdom from our forefathers the beautiful golden skin of the Khoisan is southern Africa our Rich culture from the coastal regions endless resources in central and western Africa. Rwanda s beautiful faces the Masai whose traditional blankets where used on the runway . We don't get to appreciate what we have we don't get to enjoy our own gems my heart breaks knowing how quick we are to violence how we are supplied with arms, corrupt officials to hinder our own progress. We are all human so when does this all end when will I be treated as a human being.

I am not my skin ,I am the soul that lives within ,and if the vessel that carries me happens to be black. Then I will wear my skin as proud as my creator was ,when he created me because he is perfection and doesn't make mistakes.

We need to look back at our history and see the path we have walked. We need to OPEN our eyes and see what filth we are being fed just because they took off the chains doesn't mean we are free.i am not being sadistic and taking us back to the past is repeating itself in the most unexpected manner subtly and We are embracing it all the work our forefathers fought for is fading away.
We are enclosing ourselves in a box and before we realize it will be too late there Will be no where out.

Sunday, February 14, 2016


I woke Up this morning to the sound of a beautiful tune. One id heard of but never experienced .
A sight that warmed the coldest day a dream coming true right before my eyes tears fall from my eyes as I saw the smiles of strong ,beautiful,women who have come from all over the world to empower, support  and mentor those in need. ideas and dreams becoming a reality.
 Too good to imagine women putting all there experience to benefit each other to build from  what was broken to create greatness.

We are far from this being a permanent state of consciousness, feminism itself is seen with negative eyes. The moment you call yourself a feminist, you are looked upon as a woman with no family values and no respect ,tradition and in short, you are not a typical woman who will give up certain things for the so-called sake of family. Though younger generation definitely is getting better in treating women however  today's youth have  completely misguided norms brought upon by years of watching the people around them treating women as property belonging to men,whose rights aren't as important as the opposite sex  almost treating women as children.

 Being non-chauvinist requires little more than courtesy. A man could easily be non-chauvinist but extremely sexist. He could believe in a natural role for women ( biologically determined or as part of the necessary structure of society) and expect that women who did not play that role would be unhappy. This is sexist, but if he accepted a woman's right to decide for herself whether or not to play that role he would not be chauvinist Yet, female equality still has problems to face.

As an example lets take an IT organization where a female gets promoted sooner than other peers. Even if the female is a geek, chances are really high that the women is going to be called arrogant, overbearing, boot licker and has ass kissed her way up. All this, just because men find it difficult to accept that a woman has just shown that she is capable of getting a promotion sooner than her peers by means of hard work. Or in the case where organizations fire women for being pregnant because they say it reflects badly on them to have a woman who is carrying another life in her Which should be a joy turns into something to be ashamed of and how nobody in those organizations can stand up and say no on behalf of their colleague it saddens me how far off we are in the 21 century Where  .Almost all chauvinist behavior consists of treating women as if they were things or animals . I read on another blog which talks about about female chauvinism gets triggered when there is excessive male chauvinism.

 After all we are all human beings. But feminists being misunderstood to be female chauvinists is completely unfair. Is it wrong if a woman prefers to be herself, prefers to have her own identity and not to change her identity after a so-called marriage, prefers to have dreams, goals, ambitions and to work towards them, prefers to be treated fairly. Feminists advocate equality of men and women not superiority of women over men. But I feel that society puts more and more pressure on achieving women and they feel compelled to turn towards female chauvinism. I mean if for a woman, standing up for herself against atrocities and retaliating back is going to considered female chauvinism, which by the way it is really not, then women are better off being female chauvinists.all I want is that women be treated equally as  human beings and that I don't want to beg for rights from men,i do not aim at putting men down, but they like to live their lives as they want of course keeping in mind their responsibilities as men i do not want to be treated inferior because of being women.

I want to end this post by urging you to be part of the change you hope to see. Stop treating women as second class citizens Just because something is part of your past doesn’t make it right. We have evolved from tradition. Our place in taking care of the home has Evolved into supporting economic political and social growth because we are capable of it all and by supporting each other we will get there.

Sunday, February 7, 2016


We were created to live for eternity that's why death shakes us to the core

From my own experience of loss and from being there for those I care about or even those I've seen hurting. I've come to understand that In our hearts, we all know that death is a part of life. It gives meaning to our existence because it reminds us how precious life is as were only here for a short period of time.

The loss of a loved one is shattering and can cause a major emotional crisis. You experience bereavement, which literally means "to be deprived by death."

You then begin to experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death is expected. Some people feel numbness after first learning of a death, or go into denial,disbelief,confusion,shock Sadness,yearning,anger,humiliation,despair,guilt,worry. Feelings that are a natural response. nobody is ever prepared for the intensity and duration of these emotions or how swiftly your moods may change. Sometimes you may even begin to doubt your own sanity But be assured that these feelings are healthy and appropriate and will help you come to terms with your loss. As It takes time to fully absorb the impact of a major loss. You never stop missing your loved one,tears will still flow.just as the memories live on but the pain eases after time and allows you to go on but that doesn't mean it will go away completely.
Nothing is ever easy you will mourn and grieve which is natural and you do so to accept the loss. friends and family to share your loss and will support you as best as they can although some people become nervous around you doesn't mean they don't care just means they don't know how to be there.

We express loss physically, emotionally, and psychologically. For instance, crying is a physical expression, while depression is a psychological expression. It is very important to allow yourself to express these feelings. Often, death is a subject that is avoided, ignored or denied. At first it may seem helpful to separate yourself from the pain, but you cannot avoid grieving forever. You can hide the truth but just as the sun is sure to rise so is the truth bound to come out.Someday those feelings will need to be resolved or they may cause physical or emotional illness. Such as stomach pain, loss of appetite, intestinal upsets, sleep disturbances and loss of energy the loss of a loved one can seriously test your natural defence systems. Existing illnesses may worsen or new conditions may develop. Like anxiety attacks, chronic fatigue, depression and thoughts of suicide.

What I've come to learn when dealing with a Loss of a loved one is always difficult. Your reactions are influenced by the circumstances of a death, particularly when it is sudden or accidental. Your reactions are also influenced by your relationship with the person who died.

A child's death arouses a sense of injustice for lost potential, unfulfilled dreams and senseless suffering. Parents may feel responsible for the child's death, no matter how irrational that may seem they may also feel that they have lost a vital part of their own identity.

A spouse's death is very traumatic. In addition to the severe emotional shock, the death may cause a potential financial crisis The death may necessitate major social adjustments requiring the surviving spouse to parent alone, adjust to single life and maybe even return to work.

Children who experience a major loss may grieve differently than adults. A parent's death can be particularly difficult for small children, affecting their sense of security or survival. Often, they are confused about the changes they see taking place around them, particularly if well-meaning adults try to protect them from the truth or from their surviving parent's display of grief.

Limited understanding and an inability to express feelings puts very young children at a special disadvantage. Young children may revert to earlier behaviors (such as bed-wetting), ask questions about the deceased that seem insensitive, invent games about dying or pretend that the death never happened.

Coping with a child's grief puts added strain on a bereaved parent. However, angry outbursts or criticism only deepen a child's anxiety and delays recovery. Instead, talk honestly with children, in terms they can understand. Take extra time to talk with them about death and the person who has died. Help them work through their feelings and remember that they are looking to adults for suitable behavior.

Elderly people may be especially vulnerable when they lose a spouse because it means losing a lifetime of shared experiences. At this time, feelings of loneliness may be compounded by the death of close friends.
A loss due to suicide can be among the most difficult losses to bear. Those left may feel a tremendous burden of guilt, anger and shame. Survivors may even feel responsible for the death.Coping with death is vital to your mental health. Seek out caring people. Find relatives and friends who can understand your feelings of loss. Join support groups with others who are experiencing similar losses.
 Express your feelings. Tell others how you are feeling; it will help you to work through the grieving process.
Take care of your health. Maintain regular contact with your family
Accept that life is for the living. It takes effort to begin to live again in the present and not dwell on the past.
Try to hold off on making any major changes, give yourself time to adjust to your loss.Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.

If someone you care about has lost a loved one, you can help them by being there for them
Share the sorrow. Allow them — even encourage them — to talk about their feelings of loss and share memories of the deceased.
 Don't offer false comfort. It doesn't help the grieving person when you say "it was for the best" or "you'll get over it in time." Instead, offer a simple expression of sorrow and take time to listen.
Be patient. Remember that it can take a long time to recover from a major loss. Make yourself available to talk.Look forward to the future.this too shall pass and Some day the pain will lessen, leaving you with cherished memories of your loved one.

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