A MOTHERS LOVE PART 2

THE MOST MAGICAL DAY OF MY LIFE WAS WHEN I BECAME A MOTHER.

I've been looking back at my journey of motherhood I must say it's nothing like what I envisioned it to be . What I know is that it is much better than what I thought.

To be a mother is to learn and unlearn.

It is to admit you are wrong and might not always have the answers.

Being a mother is locking yourself in the bathroom long enought to come out with a smile on your face 

It is to sacrifice everything so that someone else can have everything.

It is to live your life with your heart on your sleeve.

It is to roar like a lioness To chase away the enemy.

But be gentle enough to carry your cub in your mouth without hurting it.

It is to discover what life means and to have your heart break because of the knowledge you have to carry with you.

It is to live your nightmares and still believe in that dream.

It is to know nothing at all but share what you know as if you know it all 

It is to patiently wait quietly until they discover how amazing you are.

IT IS THROUGH MY DAUGHTERS EYES THAT I LEARNT WHAT LOVE IS.

CHILDREN HAVE A WAY OF MAKING ADULTS LEARN THE THINGS THEY MISSED ALONG THE WAY

I call her my little queen.

She may be little for now but I know I am raising a queen and I want her to know it from an early age and never forget it.I named her after a flower which ironically is the only flower i can draw and have always drawn .Im not too good at drawing maybe thats why i write so much because i can describe  how i feel better than i can draw.

She is a true flower she blossoms and lights up a room and even in the hardest of times ,she still blooms. Just like the flower I named her after.

MOTHER

To be the person with the sweetest name. 

A name that carries the most sacrifice.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey.

A journey your never truly ready for nomatter how prepared you think you are.

Filled with many twists and turns but what remains is the special bond you form with your child. 

From the moment you feel them move in your tummy. The nine months you walk together where you know you are not alone.

You share your food ,your body, your emotions.

To when you hear their first cry. As the nurse gives them to you and you hold them for the first time in your arms .

Those precious moments and the emotional rollercoaster involved from fear, to pain, to joy and everything in-between .It binds you to them for eternity.

You find your strength in them,You learn how strong you truly are.

Looking into their beautiful eyes and wonder how it is possible to create such beauty and innocence.

How beautifully they fit in your arms and how peaceful they look and it is through that peace that you learn patience and perseverance.

You also finally get to see ,feel and understand exactly what love is.

The pain ,the scars ,the sleepless nights when they fall ill, the constant pressure to be better.the bills

Sometimes overwhelm and make us doubt the process and the journey .

However, on those days ride out the wave for as long as it takes. But don't allow it to burry you alive.

Know that it is all worth it because, you get to give someone else a chance at life . 

It's hard because you have to keep delivering but isn't that the best challenge . 

Nothing worth while ever came easy.

You have to put up with the rain to see the rainbow.

A MOTHERS LOVE

NOBODY IS BORN PERFECT. ITS HOW WE DEAL WITH OUR IMPERFECTIONS THAT SETS US APART.

I always ask, what was the first thing that came to your mind. when you held your baby for the first time?majority of the answers I've gotten are "I will protect you and love you always and I will give you more than I ever got because I want to be the best mother I can be."

Every mother is different and we all have different goals but above all I believe the human aspect in us makes us want the best for our children some of us persevere through all the hardships to achieve our goals and i salute you because it's a hard task. Some of us get side tracked and eventually overwhelmed by the task that we often choose the easy way out and that too still scars.

I begin to write this post ,feeling confident that anyone who is reading it. Knows what a mothers love is and knows,what a mother is capable of doing because of the love she has for her child.

To the mothers.
You have a calling from God. Who entrusts you with a life. To give a future. A piece of what the world is to become. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem we face today.

Let me give a few incidents,

• A young girl/boy ends their first day of school, parent/parents are waiting for them excited to hear and learn about their first day. With open arms they embrace the child and enter the house

• A young child is brought into an emergency room he/she had been assaulted by a parent so bad they need medical attention.one parent covers up and says "he fell off a bicycle and into a ditch."

• A young girl beginning her teens sneaks out of the house to elope with a boy who she thinks loves her because She doesn't know what love is and is looking for the attention of a male figure she lacked growing up as a child

• A young boy/girl sits at home waiting for the day their parent will return, "it's been 3 months since you left ,saying your going to work. why did you leave me here instead of taking me with you?" the question he/she keeps asking themselves

• Lastly, a child who has been forced to grow up too soon is fixing a meal to eat because nobody is there to do it for them they wash and clean the house.sitting in the house alone double locked doors. Entertaining themselves. Counting down the minutes for their mummy or daddy to come home from work.

These are all real life situations I think we can relate to in one way or another. The question would be. Are the choices your making for your family the right choices for you or for them?

I write to women, because we have the power to create the most change and I am one so it's easy to relate. As women we have the moral compass and the gift of being a mother. We are tasked with bringing up our children ,to be the future of tomorrow. If we fail at it we can't blame society for the number of delinquents out on the streets. We have to instill the values in our children, and where the men fail we have to take up their load as well. You may ask where is the equality in all this. Well as a mother ,you know we are at a point where. We have to take the lead because at the end of the day our children/family's success is our success and Where they fail we fail too. A child will always go back to there mothers/fathers for advise and we need to create a conducive environment for that to happen and do so in the right manner other wise we are at risk of being our children's downfall.

A quote I once read that had always stuck with me is, "Truly one learns only by sorrow ;its a terrible education the soul gets,and it requires a terrible grief that shakes the very foundation of one's being to bring the soul into its own." I think a lot of us can relate with it.

Being a mother doesn't give you superpowers it just Enhances the powers that where dormant within you because now there is a lot at stake. We become mothers, not knowing what to do but it becomes natural as our maternal instincts kick in .That doesn't mean we are always right it just means we begin an endless cycle of learning and we often do What we think is best . To some our best is not sufficient to others it is and that should challenge you positively because out of the negative something beautiful is formed just like a diamond.

Motherhood changes us in ways only another mother can understand. It's that way so we can support each other because that is where even the impossible is attainable.We hold the power to impact the world in ways we dream about and the only way we can do that is by being a support system for each other not the force that brings down a family out of pure selfishness!

To the child.
Being apart of a family you know what it feels like to have a mothers love and seen what she is willing to do to make ends meet. Or you know what the absence of a mothers love feels like. And as a mother and a child. I write you this, knowing that although we expect our parents to solve every issue we have, and be wise enough to make the absolute best decision when it comes to our lives. You may not understand now but your own experience the day you become a parent, will make you understand.

Until then you may hold grudges or not understand why parents are the way they are. However you should never fail to appreciate the work and sacrifices parents go through to give you all you have.
To those who lack that parental love. Although times get hard and you wish you were like that perfect family you see next door. Nothing is ever as perfect as it looks. You have a life to live and the choices you make now determine will determine if you end up with that family or not another quote I love is,"We are in our own jail until we free ourselves to begin to live again."
Stop wishing and start living you are where you are now for a reason and only you can save you so always choose hope even when hopelessness , overwhelm's the lessons you have had to learn make you a better person if you choose hope.

To the fathers
Be the father's you wish you had or be better than the parents you had. When you bring down a home you bring yourself down as well. The world is round.what goes around,comes around .
Live,Learn and never stop dreaming #wisewordsfromthenairobifeminist


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LESSONS FROM MOTHERHOOD

BEING A MOM KEEPS YOU YOUNG IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE THE WORLD FROM THEIR LITTLE EYES

Motherhood is where all love begins and 
where children become the anchors that hold a mother to life.

The first moment i saw my daughter was magical  .

For the first time i saw what the world was really about . I saw her beautiful eyes stairing back at me and all i wanted to do was protect her ,hold her and  love her.
That feeling has not left me even in the toughest of days just looking into her beautiful eyes or getting one of her little hugs brings me joy.

The truth about motherhood is that. You dont know what your getting yourself into and you are not as prepaired as you think.

It is the greatest thing you can experience and it can  also be the hardest.

Because we are human .
the thing about being a child of your mother is that you will never understand what it is like until you have your own child .

After i gave birth and i was taken back to my room and my mum came in i broke down crying and said how sorry i was .Truth be told that was the most sincere apology i ever gave her because i truly meant it and wanted to be better. In that moment all the love she had given me flashed before my eyes and so did the times that i was not greatful and took her for granted.

You don't take a class; you're thrown into motherhood and learn from experience. You go from living your best life doing what you want to do when you want .

To sacrificing everything you have from your time to your friends,to your sleep, to your hobbies to ensure that your child has a shot in this life .To ensure your child is happy to ensure that you have a life long friend that will take care of you when you cant take care of your self.

The lesson i learnt from all of this was that being a parent doesnt mean that you possess all the skills to be a parent and it doesnt mean that you become a super mom .it just means that you have everyday for the rest of your life to become better. 

I would urge all of you to see the human in your parents wherther or not they are flawed. Remember that they loved you first and that they loved you as you are so .love them as they are. 

Remember this.Being a mum is a series of conscious choices that enable you to raise your child ,either better than you where raised, just as you where raised , or you can choose not to care.

You choose how your child will view you and approach you for the rest of their life meaning you can either be their rock or you can  be the  reason for their fall.

Live , Love,Learn ,Laugh and Dream Big.

RECLAIMING YOURSELF AFTER MOTHERHOOD

NOTHING REMAINS THE SAME .WE EVOLVE THROUGH CHANGE.

See my post on post partum depression
postnatal-postpartum-depression. andA mothers love

A mothers love.dear-young-mom.

You dont have to hear ,"say cheese" to smile. Because i love you like a fat kid loves cake. 

Smile because your much pretier when you do.

Smile for the days you couldnt and for the days that you did.

Smile for now .Smile for then. Smile because you know you deserve now .

Smile and allow your light to shine through you let it all go 

Accept your new role and smile doing it.

Find a your own way to make it work and never stop dreaming.

Nothing anyone can tell you about being a mother can prepair you for the journey .Everyone has to experience it on their own .Come up with their own formula and make up stuff along the way.

We would like to imagine you have a baby and you become an instant mom .pregnancy and birth actually does bring you close to your baby. But nothing prepaires you for what happens when the baby comes. 

The transition is almost unbearable you now have to give all your energy and time to a little angel while you are Sleep deprived and Emotional about the changes.

The journey of motherhood never ends to accept your new circumnstance .
To accept that you will never be able to go back to your old self is the begining of your growth and the begining of you becoming someone better than you once where. Small freedoms may be lost but its the begining of a transition .

Before you can Fly. You have to go through the ups and downs and loose all selfishness and let go of self wants and what comes out on the otherside is a woman who knows what she wants and doesnt settle for less.

You become a woman thats wiser more cairing and when the time comes and you can wear the six inch heals again and dress like you run the world you will have an appreciation for the time you where unable to.

So dont dispair.
Smile knowing you are evolving .
Each stage is precious and this season only lasts so long .

LIVE, LOVE ,LAUGH, LEARN AND NEVER STOP DREAMING.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

By annonymous

"To the mom hiding in her bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..

To the mom who is so tired she feel likes she can't function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs...

To the mom sitting in her car, alone, stuffing food in her face because she doesn’t want anyone else to see or know she eats that stuff…

To the mom crying on the couch after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…

To the mom that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…

To the mom that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…

To the mom that is calling out for pizza again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…

To the mom that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd...

You are enough.

You are important.

You are worthy.

This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.

In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it's hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don't always talk about it, but it's hard and it's not just you.

You are enough.

You are doing your best.

Those little eyes that look up at you - they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.

Those little hands that reach out to hold you - they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.

Those little mouths eating the food you gave them - they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.

Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours - they don’t want anything more. They just want you.

Because you are enough. You are more than enough, mama.

You. Are. Amazing." 

DEAR YOUNG MOM.

DEAR YOUNG MOM,
People always get surprised when I say, "I am a mother to a daughter." they always insist I look too young.First of all I would like to thank God and my mom for the good genes. But they are right I had a child at 21 which some might consider young.

However,I have met women who had children while still getting their primary education and have listened to a variety of their stories. When they look back years down the line with with their children becoming teenagers. The one thing they can all agree on is that A child is always a blessing.
 The smiles on their faces is priceless and it warms my heart.

I write to all you,fellow young mums to give you some of the lessons I have learnt, and some that have been shared with me.

The decision to keep a child can be a daunting decision .Especially if you had not planned for it! But once u decide to choose love it becomes a blissful experience. "All a child needs is love and the rest will be provided" that was the first piece of advice I got it was very simple and that's what I hold on to this day.

Sharing a body with someone for 9 months
(depending on gestation period) is the most beautiful gift you can experience. For once you are not alone. Someone knows how you feel .Someone shares with you your food,your laughter,your tears, your worry,your blood and most importantly you get to communicate with that person growing inside you .In those months you share your daily experiences with someone and they felt every emotion. That is where they first connected with you. This bond is what makes each child special.

You then get to feel the pain of birth and in that, you learn that There is nothing you wouldn't do for you child.You feel what your mother felt when she pushed you out into this world. In that you learn to treasure your mother and you learn to appreciate her more because you realise everything she has done for you is out of her love for you.

When you spend the next 6 months looking at your child and them looking at you ,helplessly depending on you for everything.The bond grows sometimes stress, frustration,worry and anxiety too but that warm smile your toothless bundle of joy gives you melts it all away and that is unconditional love.

Each milestone passing and you get to see your child's personality. You see yourself in them and you want to protect them as best as you can but you then realise that everyone has their path on this earth and there is only so much u can do as you hope for the best.

As a mother there is no handbook that equips you to be the best parent or no handbook that helps you deal with the emotional whirlwind you go through when you become a mother. Everything you do is out of instinct and with that we need to cut our mothers some slack motherhood isn't easy.

What is important is to know that although you have no idea of what you are doing Trust in God. Don't ask him why just believe that he has your best interest at heart. The lessons learnt from motherhood are lessons you cannot get anywhere else.

Each day that passes, passes quick soon you get a hang of it. Some days are harder than others. The most important thing is to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Avoid toxicity in your life become blind and deaf to those that are constantly hating.  You will probably loose many friends or people you held dear to you along the way. But it is fine those that stick by your side even When you give them little reason to become like Gold.

The journey of motherhood is not easy and don't expect it to be. Live,Love,Learn and never stop dreaming because you now have someone who looks up to you and depends on you. Do what you need to do and don't settle for less than you deserve. Fulfil your dreams as you fulfil your child's grow together and I guarantee you when you look back at the journey you have been on you will be proud of yourself and your child will appreciate all you have done for them.

Lastly,Learn to love yourself and get to know yourself.Forgive yourself for your short comings and appreciate yourself for all your positive attributes

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MOTHERHOOD. THE THINGS THEY NEVER TELL YOU

MOTHERHOOD; THE JOB THAT NEVER GETS ENOUGH CREDIT

PART 1

It all begins one morning you rush to the bathroom (morning sickness) and what they forget to mention is it doesn’t only apply to just mornings. The heightened sense of smell the moodiness that some people can’t understand the weird cravings at odd hours and the specificness of the cravings, the days you don’t feel pretty but you mask it with the prettiest dress in your closet not forgetting the matching bag and killer shoes, decide on a spa day get your hair and nails done and you  say to yourself if look it im sure to feel it . some days it works someday it doesn’t and what can u do on the days it doesn’t  id say cry about it then brave the day with your head above your shoulders as most of us do anyway its how were built

Then when you get over the heightened sense of smell  your tummy starts to show  and pretty doesn’t feel pretty anymore. your constantly tired ,sleepy, irritable and mentally exhausted  but the world  doesn’t stop spinning you’ve got chores to do  errands  to run friends and family to keep u with a partner who needs your attention in some cases kids to take care of. A task that seems impossible you somehow u gather every bit of strength and do it all because there’s no other way its what you’ve been prepared for your whole life its the dream we all had above all we know its our role as the woman

Finally its d day and you know its time to meet your baby .you panic and ask yourself am i ready can i do this then the contractions begin nothing anyone has told you no amount of yoga or preparation can prepare you for that pain that rips through you like a sadistic form of torture one minute its there the next it s gone. So with each breath you prepare your body for the mighty task ahead. You almost  feel like giving up u can’t take it anymore but you know this is what it means to be a mother and you know now what your mother went through when she had you  and your thankful. All those moments of ogling over baby booties and watching the baby strength and watching your body move in a shocking way the stories the promises you made while holding your bun its time to meet the person that’s walked with you those 9 months shared the same blood body breath food  its time and with a last push and the cutting of the cord you hear the sound of the new love of your life your reason for being and with those big eyes looking at you. You know u never want to go wrong or loose that precious angel in your arms

Your made it and your exhausted but thats just the beginning your family and friends are  waiting to see the two of you and you know  your  journey now begins

PART2  A MOTHERS LOVE PAIN SACRIFICE AND LEARNING TO HEAL

Its every girls dream to find there prince charming and the whole family picture and we all cling on to that dream  because its been rooted to our subconscious  its what we have been told we have to achieve or society will view you as less of a woman .however there’s a huge difference between dreaming and living t he reality of the  dream.

We all have our love stories they may not include glass slippers and castles or foreign prince charming s but  the emotions  involved are similar a wild romance begins amazing dates hours in each others company amazing sex undivided attention you feel complete   to find someone to actualize your dreams with  someone to spend the rest of your life with you fall in love and truly love to  every aspect of the word you begin to adjust your life to fit and suit them ditch a  few habits you know don’t fit in to your new status  you wrap each other in your own universe of love and happiness  but  it doesn’t last forever all good things  come to an end or evolve into something different your no longer in your  safe zone your now on a path where things get real really fast and its not hearts and roses anymore.

Your now a mother priorities change you have this overwhelming urge to give your baby  your best you have to heal  you have to become your new role now balancing your previous life with your new role seems impossible because there things you don’t find as important anymore or you simply don’t have the time.sex needs to be schedules .dates  start becoming an indoor activity, lunches with the girls seem  lovely but leaving all you have to do  to go laugh for  few minutes seems  like a selfish task or u just don’t find the conversations as exciting as you once did .its not that you feel better than them  your just are in a different point in your life

Friends feel  left out and don’t give you peace  about it and when they stop  its coz they find another friend  with similar passions  some partners feel  replaced and look for someone or something to fill the void and your left torn wondering what you ve done wrong to begin with. You then start to  give more  than u receive and start to lose yourself  because you start to do what’s needed of you and the passion dies  you operate  mechanically as a result of the hurt and pain often feeling alone because not everyone can understand what your  going through and in most cases you come across s the bad guy because you have to make the hard decisions. You sacrifice a lot for the well being of everyone but yourself and you start to fade into the background and slowly you fade till a day you realise enough is enough but it might be too late to mend the relationships you have lost .however its never too late to learn to start with yourself fall in love with you again as you find the balance  what you once loved and all you love now

Mothers give a lot and seldom receive any gratitude and we have to accept its hw it is  we now  have to learn to love ourselves enough to say no because at the end of the day  if were not ok from within we cant progress  nether can the people in our lives because ethers so much being held back you have to accept what your reality is fix what needs to be fixed and pray to God it works and if it doesn’t let  it go the grass can  also be green where your standing