INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Monday, January 31, 2022

KNOWING YOUR TRIGGERS AND HEALING FROM YOUR TRAUMA

YOUR TRAUMA IS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT HEALING IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Let me start by defining what trauma is.

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. 
Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. 

There are three main types of trauma
Acute.
Chronic.
Complex.

Acute trauma results from a single incident.
Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged such as domestic violence or abuse.
Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

Alot of the time when we experience certain traumas and haven't dealt with those feelings or have not gone to seek help inorder to begin to heal from trauma and we end up trauma bonding .

Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse. The bond is created due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement in most cases acts of kindness or one seeks forgiveness and says they don't know what came over them or are truly sorry.

Most trauma bonds occur in relationships.which basically is a deep emotional attachment that develops in a relationship characterized by abuse that's emotional, physical, or both. ... "Exploitive relationships create trauma bonds. These occur when a victim bonds with someone who is destructive to them and choose to stay for various reasons.

All in all trauma not identified will always cause destruction of your own life and those around you.
We don't deserve to go through pain and trauma . However it is a part of life and it is important that we choose to want better for ourselves . To improve our lives and enable ourselves to live in our truth. 
To do that it is important that we face our demons no matter how much it hurts . Some scars last a lifetime however inorder for us to live this lifetime we have got to accept the things we can't change and change the things that we are able to.

Believe in you. You deserve the best and don't doubt that and then work towards getting the grass green . Live, Learn,Laugh,Love and never stop dreaming . 
If you need help feel free to reach out to me and I will ensure you get help.   Http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist

Monday, January 24, 2022

LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE LOVED.


As we begin the new year we all have ideas of what we would like to accomplish before the year ends . Some of us chose not to have resolutions because by March we have already gone back to old ways so we ask what's the point of writing any. But the thing we should tell ourselves instead of what is the point is..... I really want to get this and this done but if I don't . I forgive myself and as long as I have breath in me I have a chance to get it done. That is why I felt like self love should be the first thing I write about this year. What is self love you may ask?
Self-love is defined as a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.

My journey into self love began 9 years ago . I knew I needed to put more emphasis on self love when I got to a point in my life where I wasn't where I wanted to be and was unhappy with my choices that got me to where I was. I couldn't stand to see my own reflection in the mirror for more than 10 seconds because all I could see was the face of the person that let me down and that person was myself. I could see the unhappiness in my own eyes and I was soley responsible for my own unhappiness.

Getting myself to where I am today has been a journey of self discovery. I have had to see my own pain and make peace within myself. Forgive myself and others and let go of the pain so that I could find healing. I had to learn how to love myself. How to accept myself for all that I am an all that I am not. Above all I had to learn that if I don't make myself happy I shouldn't expect other people to do it for me.
I read a quote that said you are the most important person in your life . Everyone is responsible for themselves. TBH when I understood that I felt Abit lighter.
So I would like to share with you some of the things I learnt and continue to learn and apply in my own life to date. My hope is that you learn to love yourself and to heal so that you can grow and be who you want to be.

1) Get to know yourself. Who you are .what you like .What you hate .What makes you happy and where you want to go.
2) Learn to say no . Don't over extend yourself . Do what you are comfortable with doing and that should be enough .Don't take on more than you can handle.
3)Be present in the moment. Time flys and we will never get to go back in time all we will have is our memories so make many and be fully present in each moment.You won't get it back.
4)Don't compare yourself to other people. Life is a journey and not a race be you at your own pace.
5)Forgive yourself for your shortcomings.
If you can't forgive yourself who will.
6) Accept yourself for who you are and what you are not.
7)Be kind to yourself and spoil yourself . Show yourself love for all you have been through and reward your body spirit and soul for the fact that you keep going. And prioritize me time by doing something you enjoy doing.
8) Celebrate your triumphs allow yourself to grieve and heal from your losses . Lastly allow yourself to feel your feeling.
9)Stand up for yourself.
10)Know that it is perfectly okay to ask for help .It takes a village to go through life.
11) know that not everybody will like you and it's not your job to please them. Just be you and do you 
12)Practice gratitude and thanks giving.
13)Take care of your body so that it can take care of you.
14)Be kind to yourself.
15) Surround yourself with positive energy . Leave what is negative and toxic behind.
16)Heal from all the scars you have gotten along the way
17) Be kind to yourself and others.
18) Show love and compassion. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you 
19) Choose YOU.
20) Perfom an act of kindness to someone less fortunate it will always fill your heart to see someone else happy .

Those have been some of the areas I have focused don and I hope they help you on your journey of self love . 
LIVE LAUGH LOVE LEARN AND NEVER STOP DREAMING.  For more check out and. Subscribe to my podcast http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist



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