THE POWER OF A STORY

Once upon a time there was..... And against all odds they did it ..... So can you .

HOPE

Sometimes that's all you really need. Hope. The belief that you to can overcome each hurdle to get to whatever it is you desire . From that job to that home , to that life ,to that car ,to that award, to whatever it is that is for you.

Now this occured to me in a series of events. As a writer and a story teller I tell my stories and the stories of those that I encounter. Now what happens when you need a story that gives you as the writer that hope you need? It's one thing to help people find hope but it's another when you have to find hope for yourself.

We always look up when we need an answer , we always look within and outside of us.

However, most times . We want to see a person , who has been through something similar. Overcome something , we are going through .To show us that there is hope after all. Life is a series of paths like a maze  some paths lead to dead ends.

Some that's take you further away from where you want to go .

Some paths take longer and others get you there faster .

What I believe is you are your own story. You write your story every day. The steps you take . Get you to where you are going. Don't be the passenger in your own life. Don't be the bystander . Take every step with confidence even when you fuck up.

But don't forget to see very clearly where you want to end up because that is how you get there.

Find inspiration in your own story (your past) and see how you overcame something and be your own flame of hope .

Use your own inner flame and nurture it so that it keeps you warm and strong . The days you don't feel so strong . Find your sunshine .Find the story that gives you a push to let your greatness flow.

I CANT BREATH !!!

BLACK POWER IS GIVING THE POWER BACK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT HAD POWER OVER THEIR OWN LIVES .

We have all been guilty at one point or the other of , ignoring or silencing that voice in our head that said, "speak up" or "help that person "or that voice that said, "that is not right stop it from happening".

Maybe it was out of fear ,maybe we where too preoccupied with our own problems or in other cases , maybe we chose to mind our own business.

Well now more than ever we are all aware of it. We have seen what keeping quiet ,doing nothing, avoiding confrontation results in . 

It is a hard pill to swallow when you actually see how people with African decent / people of colour are treated.

Even here in our own country and continent . We see how the government and our own police forces treat us. Like the case of one Samuel Maina who was brutally  beaten by police and when he went to report the matter at the police station nothing was done. If we as Africans truly knew the greatness we come from we would not treat eachother the way we do. 

It is even harder to believe that so many people have been conditioned to think that black people are the problem.

That black people are not human.

To think that it is a norm that so many peoples lives suffer because of the colour of their skin is heart breaking and gut wrenching.

I have always believed that you should always treat people the way you want to be treated or even better. However at a time where our compliance has been taken for granted our silence has been taken for weakness it's just too much to bare.

My heart aches for the memory of George Floyd and all the countless number of people who have suffered because, they where taught that human rights where not written for anyone with African descent but only those of pale/ lighter skin.

I see the pain in all our eyes. The pain in all those protesters who are asking,

"How long will this go on?"

"Why do they hate us so much?"

The frustration as of not getting justice. The frustration that so many black lives get ruined because of racism but nothing is being done.

Do you really blame them for saying enough is enough!

The spirit within us is strong and over the years whatever they have done to us hasn't broken us. Right from the beginning of slavery, colonialism where theys stole our land , abused us , sold us tortured us, locked us up and dehumanized us .

They think we are inhuman because we can survive and have survived and continue to survive despite all they put us through and that is what threatens them. The fact that we continue fighting . The fact that we continue to rise .
They see the power within us and they know that's something they will never have.
#blackpower
#blacklivesmatter
#blackexcellence
#african

EMPOWERING THE WOMAN IS EMPOWERING THE NATION.

PASSING DOWN WISDOM

Looking at the structure of the family unit all over the world one thing is still very evident.The woman is in charge of the home. She has the responsibility to ensure that regardless of what happens the home still run's efficiently.

Mother's raising children as single parents are the soul providers to all their children's needs and will often do all it takes to ensure their children get all they need.
Mother's who have been bereft have to take up the role played by the diseased partner.
Women whose spouses who do not take care of their family responsibilities often end up being the bread winners of the family.

 This can easily be seen around us and that's why many women organisations or locally known chamas have increased to help women achieve their goals, get educated and start saving plans that help all the members involved to build a better tomorrow for their families.

The children that come out of these homes(me and you) more often than not will still need the help of their mothers because motherhood is a lifetime job . Examine your own life and see your own need for your mother or for a person who you consider a mother figure and see that at the end of the day as long as she is able she will do what it takes to ensure her family is ok.

Over the past few years, there has been an upsurge in high level political will .
Evidenced most recently in the United Nations Secretary General’s Global Strategy for Women’s and Children’s Health. Use of services, especially those for sexual and reproductive health, has increased in some countries.
Two important factors that influence women’s health  namely, school enrolment rates for girls and greater political participation of women - have risen in many parts of the world.
But we are not there yet. In too many countries, “women’s empowerment” remains a pipe dream  little more than a rhetorical flourish added to a politician’s speech. Too many women are still missing out on the opportunity to get educated, support themselves, and obtain the health services they need, when they need them.

Most organisations, politicians  and people in general feel the minimum they do is sufficient as long as they write a few empty cheques to support woman and children they have done their good deed for the year.What happens the rest of the year? Needs don't change!

When I lie awake thinking of women and their health globally, I remind myself: the world has made a lot of progress in recent years. We know more, and we are getting better at applying our knowledge. At providing young girls a good start in life.

Writing this post as a daughter, a woman and most importantly a mother to a daughter. I am clearly aware of the factors that affect women.

Major life events such as pregnancy, motherhood and menopause can create major stresses for some women.
 Negative life experiences such as poverty, discrimination, violence, unemployment and isolation can also impact on women's mental health and well-being.
Gender roles and unequal economic and social relations between men and women in our community may also contribute to women's higher risk of depression.
 Research shows that men tend to talk more in meetings, while women are interrupted more, given less credit for their ideas, and have less overall influence.yet the best thinking doesn’t always come from those who talk the most in meetings. It’s been shown that the smartest teams are the ones that know how to draw out the value and voices of everyone in the room. The quietest person might have the breakthrough answer.

The secret to change is not fighting the old but building on the new and with this kind of mind set we will create new customs that help empower uplift and build a world with infinite possibilities
Same-sex attraction is still a very huge factor...(see my post on lgbt community in kenya)

Maternal health: Many women are now benefitting from massive improvements in care during pregnancy and childbirth introduced in the last century. But those benefits do not extend everywhere women die from complications in pregnancy and childbirth. Most of these deaths could have been prevented, had access to family planning and to some quite basic services been in place. Worst cases doctors and hospitals/clinics charge high rates where as the government ensures funding to these institutions to ensure it to be a free service.

HIV: Three decades into the AIDS epidemic, it is young women who bear the brunt of new HIV infections. Too many young women still struggle to protect themselves against sexual transmission of HIV and to get the treatment they require. This also leaves them particularly vulnerable to tuberculosis - one of the leading causes of death in low-income countries of women 20–59 years.

Sexually transmitted infections: like gonorrhoea, chlamydia and syphilis. Untreated syphilis is responsible for more than 200,000 stillbirths and early foetal deaths every year, and for the deaths of over 90 000 newborns.

Violence against women: Women can be subject to a range of different forms of violence, but physical and sexual violence  either by a partner or someone else  is particularly invidious. Today, one in three women under 50 has experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a partner, or non-partner sexual violence  violence which affects their physical and mental health in the short and long-term. It’s important for health workers to be alert to violence so they can help prevent it, as well as provide support to people who experience it.(see my post on gender based violence)

Mental health: Evidence suggests that women are more prone than men to experience anxiety, depression, and somatic complaints  physical symptoms that cannot be explained medically. Depression is the most common mental health problem for women and suicide a leading cause of death for women under 60 (see my post on suicide). Helping sensitize women to mental health issues, and giving them the confidence to seek assistance, is vital.

Noncommunicable diseases: In 2012, some 4.7 million women died from noncommunicable diseases before they reached the age of 70 most of them in low- and middle-income countries. They died as a result of road traffic accidents, harmful use of tobacco, abuse of alcohol, drugs and substances, and obesity more than 50% of women are overweight Helping girls and women adopt healthy lifestyles early on is key to a long and healthy life
Getting older: Older women may have fewer pensions and benefits, less access to health care and social services than their male counterparts. Combine the greater risk of poverty with other conditions of old age, like dementia, and older women also have a higher risk of abuse and generally, poor health.
We need to raise Strong girls and equip them well for this hard world.A woman has the ability to build a foundation that creates change and it's about time we take this issue as serious as it is and help improve on it.To educate girls is to reduce poverty.
 I will end this post with a quote that says "To succeed the desire to succeed should over weigh one own's fear of failure."

THE SPIRIT OF AFRICAN UNITY:OUR BORDERS ARE JUST LINES DRAWN BY OUR COLONIZERS

I AM NOT AFRICAN BECAUSE I WAS BORN IN AFRICA BUT BECAUSE AFRICA WAS BORN IN ME,AND THE POWERS THAT KEEP US UNITED ARE FAR GREATER THAN THE SUPERIMPOSED INFLUENCES THAT KEEP US APART.

Patrice  lumumba said,"These divisions which the colonial powers have always exploited to dominate us.Have played an important role and are still playing that role in the suicide of Africa."

Before we colonization we lived peacefully in unity growing and supporting each other with the occasional cattle raid lol . We then got colonized and although we attained Independence of our countries . It is evident that we never uncolonized our minds.

Watching what has happened in the past and continues to happen In Africa from the Rwandan genocide to Kenya's post election violence to South Africa's xenophobia. To nigeria SARS police brutality. To corrupt leaders leading countries to abject poverty  or to the increased hate towards dark skin and how we bleach our skin to be lighter to be less African .

We have been convinced that we are inferior that we want to eliminate everything that makes us unique.what we forget is that being African comes from within it . The African spirit is greater than anything that happens to us.we where slaves and we now celebrate black billionaires .They hated our music our fashion and now it's what is seen and heard around the world

We where forced to turn against each other as they divided and conquered Africa (I'm sure that phrase began in Africa) and they ensured that we were divided to ensure that they can take from us what is ours.Because they knew the value of what we had and where threatened by the power we would and could have if we came together to improve our continent.

We elect incompetent leaders to speak for us to rule our countries and instead of helping those who elected them all they do is drive us further apart, and have us murder each other while they sit in their luxurious homes and offices unbothered.

Kwame Nkuruma said,"it is clear that we must find an African solution to our problems and that this can only be found in African unity.Divided we are weak,United Africa could become one of the greasy forces for good in the world.

We have to remember that, Hatred paralyzes life. Love releases it.
Hatred confuses life.Love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens Life. Love luminates it.

History teaches us that unity is strength and cautions us to submerge and overcome our differences in the quest for common goals to strike with all our combined strength for the path to true  African brotherhood is unity."Haile Selassie

We are a representation of what our future will look like. I love a quote by the late
Jommo Kenyatta that says."Our children may learn about heroes of the past,but our task is to make ourselves architects of the future.
If you think you are to small to make a difference clearly you haven't spent the night with a mosquito.
Anything you can do to make the world impacts a person at a time and before you know it you leave a legacy that impacts the lives of countless people.

Let me end this post with these two quotes. Nelson Mandela said,"I dream of an Africa which is in peace with its self ." I feel for us to reach that point we have to understand what the Dali lama meant when he said ," world peace begins with inner peace.

THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK WOMAN

See my posts on .the right hand side under the label women empowerment , modern woman and self worth. 

Picture of  Tanzanian beauty Zakia

She is strong  however .

She is still human

She is not immune to pain in all her strength.

She is angry I'll tempered and  ready to pick a fight

And to that i respond with a question.
Who goes to disturb a lioness in rest????????

She is curves .

She is thee reference of beauty.

What they forget to mention is that she comes in different shapes, shades and sizes .

Irregardless .

She is perfect in the form she is.

She is a masterpiece of the creator. 

A unique masterpiece. Unmatched and unlike anything on this earth.

She is unique .

Dont try make her a copy of your own delusions.

We walk around with an invisible armour being a mother ,being a daughter, being a child ,being persceptions that are expected of us.

That we loose who we are .,we loose our essence. 

We get corrupted with thoughts of what we lack .
What we are not overshadows what we are . That we believe we have little or nothing to offer.

We have been told what we are supposed to be. 

We have been denied the freedom and the space to be ourselves.

Because the image of us has already been painted.

We are subject to their beliefs .

We have been shamed for who we are and when we decided to embrace our true nature. They say it is too much or sometimes say it is too little .

They have critisisized our hair our skin and our ways. They have cursed us and denied us and now you want to look like us?

I think it is time to cut the black woman some slack because at the end of the day you only hate because you lack what we have and it bothers you.

WHO IS MEANT TO EMPOWER THE BOY CHILD

This title  is enough to send quivers down many spines . With questions such as, why do men need empowerment ? What is male empowerment?

Aren't you supposed to be writing about untold lives of women ?

Well, women and men's lives go hand in hand.

Before i go further let me address the misconception that empowering women is dis empowering men . (Unless your a chauvinist and prefer to rule over your woman.) Thinking like this is primitive. Empowering one empowers all .

Empowerment takes many forms. For this article I'm talking about support ,encouragement and motivation. It is undeniable that some of the issues that men go through ,they lack the proper guidance or  support  because of the mental label that "Men are strong.

Which brings me to the topic of this post. Who is meant to empower the boy child? And who is this that over empowers the girl child?

The answer to this is rather simple . 

Firstly their is nothing as over empowerment.

Secondly , for the boy child to be empowered we first must empower men so that they stop acting as boys themselves.

In my opinion . A large majority of men in this country. Are always ready  to point a finger , but rarely step up to the plate . People will complain, "single mothers raise their boys too soft or women have taken up male roles." Leaving the man feeling emasculated. Or that too much emphasis has been put on empowering the girl child, and the boy child has been left out.

The reason why emphasis has been placed on the girl child. Is as a result of the position society has placed her. For the longest time a woman was considered "less than" . To this day women still fight for equality in terms of payment , job opportunities and many more . Women continuously struggle to attain their own Independence/freedom. 

The boy child has been empowered in the sense that; he  has not had to break through any boundary (no man has been denied a job position based on gender ,denied equal pay based on gender e.t.c ).He does as he pleases. The worse he behaves, the more credit he gets in front of his peers . 

The main issue here  is that the boy child no longer has a decent role model in his life .He lacks the proper guidance needed to become a man. 

Over the years . The boy child has taken a back seat, as women came together to ensure the future girl child. Is able to live a life without chauvinistic restrictions.

The boy child was left to fend for himself. While the men of the home took on the responsibility of looking for an income to support the family the male child would turn to his peers and that is where the male child learn to be a man.

Learning from peers is what has contributed to alot of the mistakes young men make. With no guidelines anything is fair game .How can we shape future leaders if they lack proper guidance.

Fathers seldom told their sons i love you but instead resorted to tough love and to alot of men they seldom made their parents proud in a way the parent expected resulting in low self esteem.

In conclusion, Its easy to say the boy child has been neglected and do nothing about it. Men need to support the boy child by creating a support system for them so that they know how to deal with the pressure that is "manhood/being a man."

WHEN A WOMAN CUTS HER HAIR ,SHE IS CUTTING OFF MUCH MORE

See my post on:
i-hold-world-in-my-hands.
Acceptance of ones self
/loving-each-stage-of-life
As a woman hair is part of our definition of beauty. Its something thats been rooted in us since childhood. Our mothers did our hair or would take us to get our hair done and the reason was to make us look beautiful.

Our hair became our identity and different hair styles make us feel different .However we can all agree a good hair day or just getting a new hair style workes wonders on our confidence levels.

Our hair tells the world who we are without us even uttering a word. A good example is how people sterio-type. Dreadlocks with rebels or blonds as being blond.which isn't necessarily true however the assumption doesn't go away.

When a woman takes a moment to reflect back on the colourful story of her life each chapter is defined by the diverse hairstyles she rocked.be it a passionate relationship or straight on depression.

Hair holds so much more energy than most of us are aware of. there is usually a direct correlation between what's happening on our heads and what's happening in our lives. That's why the hair industry does so well.

However, there comes a point in every womans life where, the urge to cut your hair gets really loud and that's often the beginning of something, new and exciting.

Here are a few reasons as to why women cut there hair

1.Haircuts are a symbol of change (saying goodye to the past and hallo to a new beginning)

Sometimes the fastest way to create a new and better version of yourself is to cut your hair. You say good bye to a part of you and embrace new change. I.e if you dyed your hair red for a person you were dating, and you broke up the sight of your own hair can disgust. You so the new change dis engages you from, then and puts you in a healing path through change.

2.A haircut allows you to rediscover yourself.

Hair is a woman veil and if it's long enough you hide behind your hair with long fringes , style your hair to flow around your face and hair hides a lot .From shyness to insecurities of your facial features.

When you cut it off you strip yourself of the false sense of safety it provides ,and when you look in the mirror. You are forced to see you. For who you are and in that you get a chance to, redefine what beauty means to you.

3.Sometimes a woman just wants to try out something different.

4.Cutting hair is freeing.

If you calculate the amount of money and time  spent doing hair . Its ridiculous and sometimes you just need to be able to wake up and leave the house without the hustle of it all. Without the weight of it all. Feel free and care free 

5.Cutting hair is a way of letting go off fear and finding strength in the unknown.

When you get the courage to cut your hair you are aware of yourself. You are aware of what you are and what you are not. You own who You are and you cut away the preconceived notions of who you are supposed to be.

6.Sometimes you just need to cut off all the damage caused by over heating and straining from styling and go back to your natural hair.

Personally, i have cut my hair way too many times for all the reasons ive stated. It feels good at the moment and it is a constant reminder of the new change. 

However, what i have learnt is. For true change to occur you dont need to cut your hair the change hapoens from within and when it does you will not need a physical reminder .you will be 100%Sure . Anything that needs constant reminder means that you are not convinced it was a good idea to begin with. As women we feel strongly about something one minute the next we don't .So don't act on impulse .

Your hair has nothing to do with what you are feeling inside.

I love the song by india arie that says i am not my hair. I am not my skin . l am not your expectations. I am that soul that lives within it all .(The song)

Live, learn, laugh ,heal and never stop dreaming .

Everything has its season and yours is just beginning. 

XOXO

THE HEART KEEPS THE MIND SANE

THE HEART  KEEPS THE MIND SANE

Despite the constant fears that threaten to render her body mind and soul cripple. She carries herself gracefully.

Nobody can tell what her life is like .Few can guess but never get it right. She has mastered the art of a fake smile. False confidence, that seems to be her escape and works so well for her.

Those close to her can tell there is something different in the way she acts but that’s as far as it gets.

The wall, she has built around her, like titanium. She is indestructible to the world but not to herself.

She sees exactly who she has turned out to be, and can’t lie to herself she sees herself for exactly who she is and what she is not.

Sadly the wall she built from the world hasn’t protected her from the image she sees when she looks in the mirror.

Life is an endless cycle where every action causes a reaction.

Who you think you are .Determines what you perceive your needs to be and what matters to you in life.
What matters to you will have the power to upset and disturb you. What matters is not necessarily what you say or believe, but what your actions and reactions reveal as important and serious to you.

What you deem as important will be what you fight for . It is what will be the good and anything that comes in the way will become the bad. It doesn’t mean that it is bad it just just means it is the factor that hinders your needs from being met.

If you could ask yourself what it is that you hold dear and what is it that you need. And at the same time think of all the things you have done or what ways have you reacted/over reacted as a result of your needs not getting met.

A quote I love says “who you think you are is based on past content of yourself. Who you are is more about the inner you than what you do.’’
We live life reacting to situations that come our way and the things we fight for the hardest are the things we consider a need a necessity for our sanity. How hard we fight and the ways we react both positively and negatively determine if we will have lost a piece of us along the way

To look at yourself in the mirror and be disappointed in yourself as a result of not meeting external expectations is to  take away your own efforts and  Nobody can appreciate you for what you don’t appreciate in yourself . Sometimes you have to switch off all the negativity listen to reason and see that we don’t need to pretend to be happy. Being happy is a choice. We all make choices we regret . We also make choices that inspire good.

Our ability to talk ourselves off a ledge shows that, despite all we go through we still move forward with hope. So make the conscious decision to live life .Dont let life live through you.

WOMEN MOVING MOUNTAINS BY SUPPORTING EACH OTHER #AWLS

AFRICAN WOMEN LEADERS SYMPOSIUM 
click here to view the AWLS website to read more

African women have always played a significant role in shaping the social, political and economic spheres in the continent .Despite the lack of equality ,the high levels of male chauvinism and traditions that have threatened to hinder access to the girl child because'' a woman's place has always been inferior to the average man''
The African woman has fought and is still fighting. For her seat at the table. At a time when more and more women are stepping out of the shadows to say enough is enough . Inorder to create an Africa that will empower,help and guide the future young generation of girls in the continent to show them they can do anything they want to do and they can be anything they want to be.

 The African Union (AU) launched Agenda 2063 in 2013 as a ‘call for action to all segments of African society to work together to build a prosperous and united Africa.
Agenda 2063 outlines the plan for structural transformation and a shared strategic framework for inclusive growth and sustainable development. One of the aspirations articulated in Agenda 2063 is to realize An Africa whose development is people driven, especially relying on the potential offered by its Youth and Women’. Under this umbrella, Goal 15 specifically refers to the need to achieve full gender equality in all spheres of life.

The African Women’s Leadership Symposium is a regional platform that brings together women of power and influence occupying various decision-making positions. A first of its kind, will give opportunity to deliberate how to leverage their leadership, power, influence and access for the development and progress of the African continent in general and the advancement of women and girls’ rights in particular.
Women in leadership from all sectors of society, at varying levels, be it political, corporate, development, arts, sciences and beyond will converge to deliberate on how to best actualize trans formative leadership in their respective contexts and for the greater benefit of the continent.

It will be a vibrant space for animated interactions and discussions on factors that support and those that hinder women’s access to power, influence and resources in society and will also be an opportunity to reflect on how to best collaborate inter-sect-orally so as to further the agenda of women and girls rights in Africa.

 This Symposium is also intended to be a space where women leaders can share experiences and find support from each other, and foster linkages; thereby attaining heightened visibility in order to utilize their positions to positively impact on the status of women and girls in the continent.


AWLS will connect African women of power and influence from different regions of the continent to celebrate the contribution of African women towards transformative leadership while building solidarity and collective action. Specifically the objectives are to:

• Mobilise African Women Leaders to buy-in to the concept of transformative leadership for women’s rights 
• Create a multi-sectoral space for women leaders from the various sectors of politics, corporate, business, the arts etc in order to strengthen and amplify the call for greater opportunities for women in the continent. 
• . Mobilise commitment from participants to adopt deliberate actions, initiatives, projects, approaches, strategies that create space for women and advance women’s rights. 
•  To promote and enhance inter-sectoral collaboration in championing an initiative that touches at least 1 million women in Africa in the year 2016/17