I always ask, what was the first thing that came to your mind. when you held your baby for the first time?majority of the answers I've gotten are "I will protect you and love you always and I will give you more than I ever got because I want to be the best mother I can be."
Every mother is different and we all have different goals but above all I believe the human aspect in us makes us want the best for our children some of us persevere through all the hardships to achieve our goals and i salute you because it's a hard task. Some of us get side tracked and eventually overwhelmed by the task that we often choose the easy way out and that too still scars.
I begin to write this post ,feeling confident that anyone who is reading it. Knows what a mothers love is and knows,what a mother is capable of doing because of the love she has for her child.
To the mothers.
You have a calling from God. Who entrusts you with a life. To give a future. A piece of what the world is to become. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem we face today.
Let me give a few incidents,
- A young girl/boy ends their first day of school, parent/parents are waiting for them excited to hear and learn about their first day. With open arms they embrace the child and enter the house
- A young child is brought into an emergency room he/she had been assaulted by a parent so bad they need medical attention.one parent covers up and says "he fell off a bicycle and into a ditch."
- A young girl beginning her teens sneaks out of the house to elope with a boy who she thinks loves her because She doesn't know what love is and is looking for the attention of a male figure she lacked growing up as a child
- A young boy/girl sits at home waiting for the day their parent will return, "it's been 3 months since you left ,saying your going to work. why did you leave me here instead of taking me with you?" the question he/she keeps asking themselves
- Lastly, a child who has been forced to grow up too soon is fixing a meal to eat because nobody is there to do it for them they wash and clean the house.sitting in the house alone double locked doors. Entertaining themselves. Counting down the minutes for their mummy or daddy to come home from work.
I write to women, because we have the power to create the most change and I am one so it's easy to relate. As women we have the moral compass and the gift of being a mother. We are tasked with bringing up our children ,to be the future of tomorrow. If we fail at it we can't blame society for the number of delinquents out on the streets. We have to instill the values in our children, and where the men fail we have to take up their load as well. You may ask where is the equality in all this. Well as a mother ,you know we are at a point where. We have to take the lead because at the end of the day our children/family's success is our success and Where they fail we fail too. A child will always go back to there mothers/fathers for advise and we need to create a conducive environment for that to happen and do so in the right manner other wise we are at risk of being our children's downfall.
A quote I once read that had always stuck with me is, "Truly one learns only by sorrow ;its a terrible education the soul gets,and it requires a terrible grief that shakes the very foundation of one's being to bring the soul into its own." I think a lot of us can relate with it.
Being a mother doesn't give you superpowers it just Enhances the powers that where dormant within you because now there is a lot at stake. We become mothers, not knowing what to do but it becomes natural as our maternal instincts kick in .That doesn't mean we are always right it just means we begin an endless cycle of learning and we often do What we think is best . To some our best is not sufficient to others it is and that should challenge you positively because out of the negative something beautiful is formed just like a diamond.
Motherhood changes us in ways only another mother can understand. It's that way so we can support each other because that is where even the impossible is attainable.We hold the power to impact the world in ways we dream about and the only way we can do that is by being a support system for each other not the force that brings down a family out of pure selfishness!
To the child.
Being apart of a family you know what it feels like to have a mothers love and seen what she is willing to do to make ends meet. Or you know what the absence of a mothers love feels like. And as a mother and a child. I write you this, knowing that although we expect our parents to solve every issue we have, and be wise enough to make the absolute best decision when it comes to our lives. You may not understand now but your own experience the day you become a parent, will make you understand.
Until then you may hold grudges or not understand why parents are the way they are. However you should never fail to appreciate the work and sacrifices parents go through to give you all you have.
To those who lack that parental love. Although times get hard and you wish you were like that perfect family you see next door. Nothing is ever as perfect as it looks. You have a life to live and the choices you make now determine will determine if you end up with that family or not another quote I love is,"We are in our own jail until we free ourselves to begin to live again."
Stop wishing and start living you are where you are now for a reason and only you can save you so always choose hope even when hopelessness , overwhelm's the lessons you have had to learn make you a better person if you choose hope.
To the fathers
Be the father's you wish you had or be better than the parents you had. When you bring down a home you bring yourself down as well. The world is round.what goes around,comes around .
Live,Learn and never stop dreaming #wisewordsfromthenairobifeminist
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