THE BEST PART OF GROWING UP IS THAT YOU GET TO BE A MATURE VERSION OF YOUR TRUE SELF

GROWING UP IS TAKING WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNT AND MOVING FORWARD SHEDDING AWAY WHAT IS NOT IMPORTANT AND NOT TAKING IT TO HEART.
see my post on prison of the mind

Sometimes when you go through life in a hurry all you do is miss moments and its only after they pass that you see the importance they had .You will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

As we  grow up we realise that it is less important to have many friends and more important to have real friends, because now you know better and you choose what is best for you.

You become less concerned with trying to make a momentary impression and become more focused on making a lasting impression.
You arrive at this point in life after you stop cairing about , what other people have to say about you and start cairing for how you feel and what is fulfilling.

As i continue to grow up i see more and more of my younger  self come out the parts of me that i held back or was ashamed of because of what i was told or what people said or felt .Start to come out again and that to me is beautiful because when you watch a child do things they are confident.
Nothing holds them back because they believe in themselves and they are always cheered on.
So i challenge you to do the same. Set yourself free from that prison that you created in your mind based on the opinion of others and your own insecurities.
Cheer yourself on
.Be like that child free to be who they want to be . Unapologetically .

DONT LISTEN TO THE BULLY IN YOUR HEAD.

I am very critical of myself because, i feel that i should 

always be aware of my short comings.
So that ,if someone was to point something out. It doesnt bother me as much.As i would be working on it.

I like to be prepared for the worse case scenario so i dont get disappointed or surprised. I like to be informed and conscious of everything that happens around me inorder for me to have a choice and not have to pick something that had aready been chosen for me. However i wouldnt classify myself as a control freak ,because i do know how and when to let go and let God.

Which brings me to todays post. 

Sometimes in life we tend to be our harshest critics . We spend our time trying to improve ourselves that we dont realise that sometimes we do the most harm to ourselves.

For the longest time i spent time trying to figure out what i can do to make myself less like me and more like what i was expected to be and what i expected myself to be .

Because i felt that being me was too much to handle and all of this based on opinions i thought mattered .
lnstead all it did was bring me down.

To the point that i never stopped to see the progress that i had made in my life. The areas of growth , the wisdom and knowledge that i have gained from past lessons.

 Because i was so focused on what was wrong with me and what i felt i was lacking.

I failed to see the wonderful woman i have become compared to the child i once was . i never stopped to see that all my battle wounds have grown into beautiful reminders of strength ,perserverance and determination. All this through hard work.

I failed to see my own progress ,my achievments my strengths and my smile because i was wrapped up in my own head bringing myself down.

Sometimes people will try to dim your light to brighten there own and that does do damage.

However, the real damage occurs when you fool yourself into believing it.  Thats when the block occurs , because if you cant stand for you . Nobody else will stand up for you.

Dont sentense yourself to death. Dont be the Judge .Jury and executioner without seeing the full scope .

For every negative thought think of three positive ones and that should tell you things cant be as bad as they seem. Nothing ever is. For with each problem comes a solution and for each solution comes another problem.
But dont allow yourself to believe the lie that, it is impossible or too difficult, or that you are not good enough.

When that thought comes give yourself a break and remind yourself of all the reasons why you are perfect as you are and as you work on improving yourself . God's timing is best because some lessons make more sense after a series of storms.

In all things live your life learning but dont let the learning cause you to stop dreaming.

WHEN YOUR OWN THOUGHTS BRING YOU DOWN

If i could run .
Not too far ,but far enough.

I would sit beside myself .

Where my thoughts are not as loud.

I would hold myself because ,i know what it is like to be in my own body .
Numb.

Where i am paralyzed by fear and nobody knows.

Where my thoughts tear me down.
Where i am not good enough .
Where i am not pretty enough.
Where i feel alone .
Lost and a disappointment
Nobody knows what it is like to live in my skin .
All they see is the glam i portray.
I would look myself in the eyes and understand the pain .
I wouldn't shy away from the mirror like i normally do.
Because i am not in pain .
I am not broken .
I am not in the body that gives me nightmares.

Beside myself .I can get to enjoy the sound of the birds.

Beside myself. I get to appreciate what i am without my head making me doubt my own thoughts.

Beside myself. I am free to be who i am and free to be who i am not.

Beside myself. I give myself reassurance. Because i now i am not alone.

Now i realise something that i had not realized before.

I have been inside my self as i thought these thoughts.

It felt as though  i was beside myself .

When all i had done is silence the deathly thoughts.

Now i know to be myself i need to silence the voices and dare to dream .

Dare to be free.

It doesnt matter where i am or what has happened to me all that matters is,

I FIND THAT VOICE WITHIN MYSELF.

THE VOICE THAT WANTS THE BEST FOR ME,AND REACH TOWARDS IT

BECAUSE THAT IS THE VOICE THAT FREES ME AND ENABLES ME TO LIVE .