WHEN DREAMS DO COME TRUE.

SPEAK YOUR DREAMS OUT LOUD ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO GET THEM DONE WITHOUT FAIL.

We get to live this life only once

The fact that most of us spend a lot of time stressing about things that don't matter . or that some of us survive life feeling like it's more of a burden.
Uninspired and unmoved .
That we live life without truly doing what makes us happy.

I believe if we could all take more risks and keep striving to achieve what others consider fantasies or dreams (which ultimately is the hardest pasth but with the best rewards) we would all be happier. Because the only thing impossible in this world is just the word impossible. We have infinite possibilities yet we restrict ourselves and it bothers me.Why would anyone settle for mediocrity !

I am constantly haunted by the quote,"most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us".

It worries me because I feel like I have a lot to accomplish before I go and I would like to make sure when I do go .

I've checked off everything off of my to do list .However my own fears sometimes get the best of me and it takes me longer than I should to do what I want and need to do

2019 has got to be the year that I got to live out dreams I knew would happen but I didn't think would happen so soon.
Although most of them happened before I was ready.......They happened and made me realise that although life seems uncertain. There are certain things you know deep deep down are written in the stars for you and only you, doesn't matter how hard you ignore them or try to change them .

You have to accept that nothing new happens under the sun. You are living your life based on a book that was already written and the only power you have is the power to make that ending one that makes you proud.

Live life its hard but you need to learn so that you can later laugh and love .

Happy new year .Never stop dreaming because as impossible as it is to believe that dreams do come true.

Imagine what it would feel like to see yourself on the other side living a dream you thought would only be just a dream.

You are like a ray of sunshine so shine bright.

FAMILY IS GOD'S SLICE OF HEAVEN ON EARTH

FAMILY IS WHERE LOVE BEGINS AND WHERE IT NEVER ENDS

Looking back in my life my most treasured moments are moments that i had my family by my side and thats because family will always be there for you .
Through the good and the bad.

As a kid i always loved chrismas (and still do) gifts under the chrismas tree , loudly singing chrismas carols (our family favourite 12 days of chrismas) fake santa , the food, the highlight was seeing my grandparents listening to stories and playing games with my cousins aunties and uncles .

The only time age was never a concern. Young and old we played. The only time when age didnt matter.

Family is Gods way of showing his love .It is his most treasured asset.

During the festive season is when friends and  families get to be together and, enjoy eachothers company.
 Where differences are put aside . Where laughter fills the air.
Where love brings us together and hate doesnt exist.

Irregardless of what kind of family you come from or who you consider family (blood or not)
Everything you have learnt in life gets applied to those around us.
 To impact the world you have to first impact those around you .

Take this time of the year to heal.
To love .
To be happy.
Wherever you are, irregardless of what situation you are in . Laugh and appreciate all that has happened and as you anticipate the new year.

 Make it a year where you begin to live your dream. Dont make a list because that never works. Just choose to live your dream.

Thankyou for all your lovely emails and your continuous interest in what i have to write about.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Regards,
Founder of Untold Lives of Women Kenya.
Mishi Khalid.

LESSONS FROM MOTHERHOOD

BEING A MOM KEEPS YOU YOUNG IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE THE WORLD FROM THEIR LITTLE EYES

Motherhood is where all love begins and 
where children become the anchors that hold a mother to life.

The first moment i saw my daughter was magical  .

For the first time i saw what the world was really about . I saw her beautiful eyes stairing back at me and all i wanted to do was protect her ,hold her and  love her.
That feeling has not left me even in the toughest of days just looking into her beautiful eyes or getting one of her little hugs brings me joy.

The truth about motherhood is that. You dont know what your getting yourself into and you are not as prepaired as you think.

It is the greatest thing you can experience and it can  also be the hardest.

Because we are human .
the thing about being a child of your mother is that you will never understand what it is like until you have your own child .

After i gave birth and i was taken back to my room and my mum came in i broke down crying and said how sorry i was .Truth be told that was the most sincere apology i ever gave her because i truly meant it and wanted to be better. In that moment all the love she had given me flashed before my eyes and so did the times that i was not greatful and took her for granted.

You don't take a class; you're thrown into motherhood and learn from experience. You go from living your best life doing what you want to do when you want .

To sacrificing everything you have from your time to your friends,to your sleep, to your hobbies to ensure that your child has a shot in this life .To ensure your child is happy to ensure that you have a life long friend that will take care of you when you cant take care of your self.

The lesson i learnt from all of this was that being a parent doesnt mean that you possess all the skills to be a parent and it doesnt mean that you become a super mom .it just means that you have everyday for the rest of your life to become better. 

I would urge all of you to see the human in your parents wherther or not they are flawed. Remember that they loved you first and that they loved you as you are so .love them as they are. 

Remember this.Being a mum is a series of conscious choices that enable you to raise your child ,either better than you where raised, just as you where raised , or you can choose not to care.

You choose how your child will view you and approach you for the rest of their life meaning you can either be their rock or you can  be the  reason for their fall.

Live , Love,Learn ,Laugh and Dream Big.

THE SPIRIT OF AFRICAN UNITY:OUR BORDERS ARE JUST LINES DRAWN BY OUR COLONIZERS

I AM NOT AFRICAN BECAUSE I WAS BORN IN AFRICA BUT BECAUSE AFRICA WAS BORN IN ME,AND THE POWERS THAT KEEP US UNITED ARE FAR GREATER THAN THE SUPERIMPOSED INFLUENCES THAT KEEP US APART.

Patrice  lumumba said,"These divisions which the colonial powers have always exploited to dominate us.Have played an important role and are still playing that role in the suicide of Africa."

Before we colonization we lived peacefully in unity growing and supporting each other with the occasional cattle raid lol . We then got colonized and although we attained Independence of our countries . It is evident that we never uncolonized our minds.

Watching what has happened in the past and continues to happen In Africa from the Rwandan genocide to Kenya's post election violence to South Africa's xenophobia. To nigeria SARS police brutality. To corrupt leaders leading countries to abject poverty  or to the increased hate towards dark skin and how we bleach our skin to be lighter to be less African .

We have been convinced that we are inferior that we want to eliminate everything that makes us unique.what we forget is that being African comes from within it . The African spirit is greater than anything that happens to us.we where slaves and we now celebrate black billionaires .They hated our music our fashion and now it's what is seen and heard around the world

We where forced to turn against each other as they divided and conquered Africa (I'm sure that phrase began in Africa) and they ensured that we were divided to ensure that they can take from us what is ours.Because they knew the value of what we had and where threatened by the power we would and could have if we came together to improve our continent.

We elect incompetent leaders to speak for us to rule our countries and instead of helping those who elected them all they do is drive us further apart, and have us murder each other while they sit in their luxurious homes and offices unbothered.

Kwame Nkuruma said,"it is clear that we must find an African solution to our problems and that this can only be found in African unity.Divided we are weak,United Africa could become one of the greasy forces for good in the world.

We have to remember that, Hatred paralyzes life. Love releases it.
Hatred confuses life.Love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens Life. Love luminates it.

History teaches us that unity is strength and cautions us to submerge and overcome our differences in the quest for common goals to strike with all our combined strength for the path to true  African brotherhood is unity."Haile Selassie

We are a representation of what our future will look like. I love a quote by the late
Jommo Kenyatta that says."Our children may learn about heroes of the past,but our task is to make ourselves architects of the future.
If you think you are to small to make a difference clearly you haven't spent the night with a mosquito.
Anything you can do to make the world impacts a person at a time and before you know it you leave a legacy that impacts the lives of countless people.

Let me end this post with these two quotes. Nelson Mandela said,"I dream of an Africa which is in peace with its self ." I feel for us to reach that point we have to understand what the Dali lama meant when he said ," world peace begins with inner peace.

THIS THING CALLED LIFE...

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ROAD YOU ARE WALKING DOWN PAVE A NEW ONE

'Everyday is a new beginning.'Cliche quote ..I know However let's look at it another way. If you have 365 days in a year . How many of those 365 days can you actually account for?
If every day is a new beginning why does your year look exactly as it did last year?

 If from the day you are born you are a day closer to your death. (I know it might sound pessimistic. However it is the truth.)
Unfortunately , in this thing called life . Non of us know's when we will die .The few of us lucky enough to wake up every other morning in good health often take that for granted .
We wake up get to work, or we go through the day doing the things we need to do . Some days letting some things fall to the bottom of the list (out right procrastination)

So let me ask you this if you started to view your time as precious and wouldn't want to waste a minute of it, what would you change about your life if you actually knew the exact day you will die ?
would you tolerate the things that you do? will you be better?will you do more ?will you still be the same person you are now?

I was having a conversation with my mum about life and this is what she shared with me, "the fig tree grows its fruit even before the leaves open. That is why in the parable of the fig tree in the bible. Jesus cursed the fig tree because this specific fig tree's leaves had opened and had not allowed the most important part of the tree(the fruit) to grow."

Which brings me to the question, what areas in your life have you invested so much energy however all the time you invested hasn't bore you any fruit that benefits you?
How much time have you wasted? Just because you spend a lot of time making a mistake doesn't mean you can't stop !
If you where actually told exactly when you where going to die. What would you change?
What would you improve on?
What would you get rid of?
From the answers you have given write a list of what is important. Cut off what is not important ,and stop worrying about the what ifs and start doing and being you.
Make your 365days you have work for you .

Also accept you for you.look your self in the mirror and see yourself as vulnerable as you are accept you can't be perfect and improve on what can be improved on. Where there is a will a way will always be provided....I know another cliche quote but they carry the most weight.
Stop being your own obstacle.

CORRECT IN LOVE AND ELIMINATE THE REBELLIOUSNESS PROCESS.

 HOLDING ONTO ANGER IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE
As a mom i have learnt patience in a way i never thought possible, and applying it to everyday life has become a slightly easier task.
For those that cant relate with that let me give you an example.

When you find a child making a mess or doing something wrong.They are the hardest to correct because, you dont want to scar them,traumatise them or even say the wrong thing because ,you have to correct them with love and in gentleness.
In order for them to know that what they are doing is wrong, and that you want to put them on the right path.

It occured to me that when it comes to correcting anybody. Irrgardless of age ,we should correct them the same way we would correct a child.

When correcting someone the goal is to apply light and not heat.
We correct them because we want them to change and for change to be effective it has to be willing.
With that in mind below is a list of things to avoid to effectively guide someone in the right direction.
The three things you should avoid are;

• Shouting.(which feels like attacking the person)
• Manipulation.
• Commanding  (That is Dictating what to do or Forcing someone to do something.).

 SHOUTING

I want you to think back to the last time someone shouted at you to do something and you actually did it with a good heart ? Personally, i can tell you that shouting may get the job done but, the outcome isnt permanent and it isnt done whole heartedly. 

Inorder to have permanent change of attitude. The person must see that what they are doing is wrong and they must see that it must be corrected. 

The way you approach every situation determines the outcome.So before you shout and raise both your voice and their anger think wisely of what kind of result you are chasing.

MANIPULATION

Can be defined as, exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for ones own advantage. Or as, the skillful handling controlling or using of something or someone.

With that in mind although you can easily achieve the outcome you hope for 

.Remember that we are all intelligent beings and when we eventually realise that we have been manipulated into doing something.

 Resentment and even hate can surface and when it does you might end up loosing that person so evaluate and see if it is worth the risk.

COMMANDING/DICTATING/FORCING 

Nobody likes being forced into doing anything and more importantly note that God himself gives you a choice and even though he knows the right path you should take he lets you find your own way.Even though he could easily get mad and wipe you from existance he ic loving he is kind and he is patient with us above all he never stops believing in us thats why he sent his son to save us

When correcting some one correct them in love and kindness that way they dont get mad and rebel or even do things half heartedly.Politeness always goes a long way even if they are in the wrong 
Live ,Laugh ,Love ,Learn and remember, 'FROM THE ERRORS OF OTHERS A WISE MAN CORRECTS HIS OWN'.

INVISIBLE PEOPLE...(A kind gesture can heal a wound that only compassion can heal .Be kind! )

A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR OWN ATTITUDE AND IN THE LIVES OF THOSE WE ENCOUNTER.

 I love to observe in silence everything that is happening around me .Especially, when i go for walks or long drives.Watching people go about their day. Looking at the expressions on their faces or just observing the way they do things, is something that has always fascinated me.

So on this specific day, i was so preoccupied in my own world of thoughts that i could see what was going on around me .
My body was moving and doing things on automatic but my mind was so far away.

So when someone stopped me to ask for my help .I just brushed them off because ,i felt like it was too much of a task and i wanted to focus more on what was going on in my own mind.
When i realized what i had just done .I paused to evaluate what had just happened.

I was too focused on my own troubles to notice that someone else who was in needed and chose to stop me to ask me for help ,because they thought that i could help.
I ignored them! I didn't even look them in the eye!
I didn't even listen long enough to know what they needed to know how i can help them!
that made me feel horrible because i though to myself when i need help and i don't get any it makes you feel hopeless as though nobody can see you as if you are invisible.

It made me realize how we can sometimes be so preoccupied in our own thoughts that take for granted and seldom see what is going on around us.
We have become selfish because we tend to think of ourselves more than we think of those around us. We have become so detached from one another that we choose not to help people because we feel that someone else can help them or we think that we are being scammed .

That's really disturbing because that is not the basis of compassion. kindness or giving . You should give without expecting to receive. You should do it out of the kindness of your heart because you see someone is in need and you should always treat people the way you would like to be treated.
Always put yourself in someones shoes and choose to be the better person because in helping someone you then make it possible  for them to help another and that is what makes the world a better place.
Also it reminds me of something that i was taught when i was young. ALWAYS HELP A PERSON IN NEED BECAUSE YOU COULD BE HELPING AN ANGEL

Also once in a while check in on your friends and family and help them where you can because charity begins at home.Don't forget that a persons greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Appreciation can make a persons day and even change a life .Your willingness to put  into kind word or even action is all it takes to impact a life.

 LIVE, LAUGH ,LEARN, LOVE AND NEVER STOP CARING

Click on the labels below to find similar topics on various post i have written., and don't forget to subscribe via email to receive my latest posts.

EVERYTIME YOU CONFRONT A FEAR YOU BUILD FREEDOM

 FEAR IS ONLY AN EMOTION IT CAN BE STOPPED BY ACTION

The words that creep up on you in that moment of uncertainty,that cause hesitation.

The insecurity brought about by the fear of what they will think ,or what they will say!

Alone in silence where your own thoughts bring you down.

The words that keep you from moving forward.

The inability to try because there is always a reason not to.......

1000 ways to die ,1000 ways to try .

How about you spend more time trying .Than looking at the 1000 ways you will die. 

It means  much more to die trying die trying .Than to be average.

Everyone has a fear .

The only thing that separates us is that some of us will go to our grave and will be buried with our fears and others will concur them and live a life without boundaries.

Use fear as a motivating factor and chase the thrill of outdoing it .

Overcomie each challenge knowing, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It is in realizing that you might have been wrong in thinking that  it  was a mountain when it was only an illusion..

The reward is always in the risk.

Fear is poison and i am confronting mine .What are you  waiting for?

THE LOUD SILENCE OF SEXUAL ABUSE /ASSAULT......

WILL THEY BELIEVE ME OR WILL THEY BLAME ME.

She ran to her room and tried to lock the door.

She crawled her way to the darkest corner and hid .

Trying to breath calmly and not too loud lest he hear her and find her hiding place.

Her life felt like a unending death sentence.
Sitting there feeling as though her life was draining into the earth beneath where she sat.

She heard his steps getting closer.
Slowly her place of safety turned into a trap .
Like a mouse cornered with no place of escape .
Nothing could convince her in that moment that her life had a meaning.

Pain was all she new how to consume and it darkened every aspect of life .
She regreted her birth because since the day she was born she could feel herself die.

The sound of her l heart racing and the sick feeling sank to her stomach leaving her hollow.
Brought herback to reality.
Hoplessnes filled her and corroded any fiber she hadleft to live.

Nothing could be done.

He came in bare chested with his unbuttoned pants hanging low .
The way he smelt made her nauseous.

He dragged her out by her ankle.
Trying to scream would only leave her worse off .
He was bigger.
He was stronger.
He was like an animal.
When he got like this she could swear she could see the devil in his eyes. He was what nightmares where made of.

She had to die.
She had to be numb .
She had to escape.
So with a blank stare the only words that could come out where ,"DONT!!!!!PLEASE YOU'VE ALREADY TAKEN TOO MUCH FROM ME".

All she saw next was his fist rise and the pain that followed that knocked her out.

.....She woke up from the nightmare only to see him leave the room with a smile on his face and thelow rumble of laughter and satisfaction. He got what he wanted.

The comfort from not witnessing it and the flashbacks of his inhumane act non existant caused a slight relief.
Re living it in her nightmares was too much to bare.
For this one time she would have no memory of it all.
She could convince herself it was a nightmare.
Although.

Looking around she knew and could feel what he did .
It wasnt a nightmare she tried to sit up and fell back to the floor.

All she wanted to do was get up and wash off his dirt as if it could wash it all out .But her body lacked the strength to do so .

So she lay there blank as blank could be .
Blank was all she felt and it felt better than feeling.
She swore she would escape forever .
But until then she allowed her brain to shut down ..............................

It is always in silence that wecome to truth of that moment.where we lost apart of ourselves .
Where we mourn the death of innocence from the hands of a friend, loved one or a family relative .
It is the hardest place to be because you choose to feel and instead of pushing those feelings down and surpressing them to a point of non-existance .
We choose to accept it happened

In the deepest part of your memory where you hide the ugly truth .The truth struggles to get heard.
The harshness of reality.

The shadows of that moment where you where too helpless to fight or too young to know what was happening.

You knew it was wrong but the strength to stop it couldnt bear roots. And it slowly manifests in your everyday life. Makes you become something less of who you where ment to be, because you couldnt say it because you where affraid of the consequences of speaking your truth. Of giving life to the darkness.
For there is power in the words and sometimes we may not have the strengthto deal with it.

You where affraid of the punishment without knowing you already have been punished for something you had no control over. You feel subject to the situation and who you have become is a result of what you have been through .

Not knowing that with each wrong that happens nature and God has a way of turning it into more positives and even though it may not feel like that right now .You need to know for every wrong done to you .

God sees it and although you may feel a silence from him he is working for your good or for the good of someone you may meet that will need your help healing from the same and you will empathise with them because you know what it feels like to be trapped and isolated , for that moment you realise you are not alone and all it takes is a voice to speak up to set so many other people free.

The actions of another person in your life have a way of haunting us and they do alot of damage until you find rest and a pause enough to reconsile the pain and the trauma caused to you.

It is not your fault for you where vulnerable you where innocent and now you cant get back that life.
Because that wasnt your life to live maybe your life had to have pain to make you into a better version of yourself.

You have to heal it on your own ,healing starts from self acceptance and its a journey of self discovery you have to find on your own .
You just need to have the strength to do it and seek the help needed to restore your peace of mind.

For help send us a message in our contact form or if you know someone suffering share this with them and let them know we are here to help.
Live Learn and allow yourself to fall apart.

FREEDOM

CUT THE ROPES AND SET YOURSELF FREE

Freedom is knowing that you have a choice.

Its knowing that you have one life to live and you have to live it to the your best ability before your time runs out.

Freedom is your ability to choose the path you are on and to either choose to put up a fight or give up.

Freedom is what our ancestors faught hard for.
Inorder for us to have the ability to choose,to be what we want to be and to live, a life that we can look back at and be proud of.

Freedom is choosing who you love and loving them irregardless of what obstacles you face.

Freedom is your ability to be free to be who you are without restrictions. To be unapologetically you and loving who you are and allowing the light within you to shine.

Freedom is choosing to fly and not crawl all your life.

Freedom is living and speaking your truth without worrying what people will perceive of you. Without allowing their judgements of you .   Change you .

Freedom is your ability to choose different to carve out your own path .

Freedom is a hard earned gift that we get to enjoy now .where many died trying to attain . Dont allow your mind to create restrictions. 

Live , Love ,Learn , Laugh and never stop dreaming. For it is in our dreams that we first see what we want to become.

Freedom is your right.Dont allow the world to hold you back because at the end of the day it is your journey in this life and  the accomlshments and the legacy you leave behind will be the mark you leave behind.

WE PLAN MORE FOR THE WEDDING THAN WE DO FOR THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT DONT JUST FOCUS ON THE WEDDING DAY IT ONLY LASTS 1 DAY BUT THE MARRIAGE IS FOR A LIFETIME

As women we have been fed the narrative ,"Finish school,get a job ,find a husband and live happily ever after......."

We have been conditioned to think that the single most important moment in our lives is walking down the isle to our prince charming who will save us from all our worries and be our knight and shining armour.

So from a young age we think about the details of how we would like the magical day to look ,what we will wear ,what colours we will have ,what shoes and how our hair will look.
Every so often we add more details to the day inorder to ensure that nothing messes up that special day.

Every detail is carefully picked out with the aim of bringing the day as close to perfection as possible.

Then the day comes and goes and you realize, you lived a day to fulfill expectations and spend more money than necessary just to achieve a milestone imposed on you. Which leaves you thinking,".....so what next??????".

So here you are sitting across the room from someone you where supposed to be living happily ever after with but instead all you can think is .....who is this stranger i married?, 

How come nobody told me it was going to be this difficult and did i make the biggest mistake of my life?"

The thing about love is once you open your heart up to someone its hard to shut them out. 

Sometimes in marriage and also in long term relationships we go through obstacles and we tend to build walls or in some cases we choose to create an illusion of who the perfect person is suppoaed to be and we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses and it leads to resentment .

Time goes by and we find we know nothing about the person we married.

The thing is thats exactly what marriage we marry the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with and that in itself is a gift but we focus on everything else but ensuring we get to spend the rest of our Live happily with that person.

What i loved about old love (our grandparents kind of love) is that they understood it they accepted the traditional parts of what a union is and they also grew into what love and family threw their way and thats why we can sit around during family holidays and see how their love inspired generations .

Love needs to be patient and love needs to be kind even when there is no reason to be kind.

Now we allow everyone tell us what love is supposed to be instead of creating and working hard to create the kind of love we dreamt of in our homes.

Most people can be envious and give advise just to see you miserable and some just cannot understand the dynamics of your relationship and will give one sided advise. 

So my advise for you is plan for the future plan for the problems and plan to stick it out so you can have an always and forever.

If you would like to talk send us a message by leaving your name email and message  in the section on the right hand side

To see similar posts click on one of the labels below.

MISUNDERSTOOD. (depression and anxiety)

She spends her days in bed and escapes the world by living through the novelas she watches.

Isolated in her fantasies. Closed off from the reality of the daily happenings of the world.

Alone and isolated.

The warmth she gets from her blankets holding on to them tight for they alone give her solace.

She is trapped in her thoughts of hopelessness and the loudness of the silence adds to her anxiety.

This is not where she thought she would be when she graduated.

This is not the life she envisioned.

Scrolling through her phone seeing the picture perfect  lives  of those she knew go by .

She cant help but ask herself why they get to live their dreams while she rots away in disparity.

Shes been in her bed living day to day.

Living each minute as the last wondering when it will change.

Hoping for that call that will change her life but she knows deep within her that its unlikely .

She has no strength to try she has no strength to give because all the world seems to do is take from her

Her family has stopped trying her friends have all let her slip through the cracks.

So she sits there. In silence wondering what she did wrong to deserve the life she got .
What unending punishment and torture is this.
And how and when will it stop.

From outside she can hear people ushering in a new year .

Its been 10 years of this repetitive cycle and nothing has changed.

She slips into the blankets again and noticed the hole and it dawns on her that soon enough all that will be left of her comforter will be shreds ......

Just like her heart .
Just like her life .
A void of holes and lost memories.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION SEND US A MESSAGE OR AN EMAIL WITH THEIR DETAILS WE WILL ASSIST THEM. AND IF THIS DESCRIBES YOU DON'T WORRY WE ARE HERE TO HELP 

CLOSURE

YOU ARE BETTER OFF LETTING IT LOOSE THAN HOLDING IT IN AND IT CORRUPTING YOU

Have you ever been so mad at someone for so long , that you forget you still have unresolved issues with them .
Until you meet with them or hear from them that you realise you where still hurt and upset from something that happened ages ago.

And at the instant that they apologize you can literally feel the wall break and you are flooded by the realisation that a situation had held you captive .

Or even if they havent and might not apologize the fact that you still carry the trauma or the pain shows that in that situation you are held hostage to truly being free because their is something that denies you the true joy you would have if it didnt exist.

The thing with pain or hurt is that it digs a hole and that void created spreads and you eventually are overwhelmed with the thoughts of what you are lacking that you forget to acknowledge what you have.

Two people coming from a point of pain can never see eye to eye because each person believes that their pain is bigger than the other person that they miss to realise that they are the only two people directly affected

The pain directed at eachother only makes the situation worse.

No resolve can be reached because each individual feels wronged and each individual feels they are justified in their anger.

The truth is two wrongs can never make a right and if you dont feel that you are mature enough to be the better person it just means that you should because .In that moment your hurt is speaking louder than logic.

Closure means:   an act or process of closing something,
;closing down
;a procedure for ending a debate and taking a vote.
;a sense of resolution or conclusion at the end of something.

That said to give closure you must first accept that you are in need of coming to positive conclusion that will enable you to move forward without denying yourself true growth.
Live ,Love, Learn ,Laugh and heal all the invisible scars and rise above them like a phoenix from the ashes.

THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK WOMAN

See my posts on .the right hand side under the label women empowerment , modern woman and self worth. 

Picture of  Tanzanian beauty Zakia

She is strong  however .

She is still human

She is not immune to pain in all her strength.

She is angry I'll tempered and  ready to pick a fight

And to that i respond with a question.
Who goes to disturb a lioness in rest????????

She is curves .

She is thee reference of beauty.

What they forget to mention is that she comes in different shapes, shades and sizes .

Irregardless .

She is perfect in the form she is.

She is a masterpiece of the creator. 

A unique masterpiece. Unmatched and unlike anything on this earth.

She is unique .

Dont try make her a copy of your own delusions.

We walk around with an invisible armour being a mother ,being a daughter, being a child ,being persceptions that are expected of us.

That we loose who we are .,we loose our essence. 

We get corrupted with thoughts of what we lack .
What we are not overshadows what we are . That we believe we have little or nothing to offer.

We have been told what we are supposed to be. 

We have been denied the freedom and the space to be ourselves.

Because the image of us has already been painted.

We are subject to their beliefs .

We have been shamed for who we are and when we decided to embrace our true nature. They say it is too much or sometimes say it is too little .

They have critisisized our hair our skin and our ways. They have cursed us and denied us and now you want to look like us?

I think it is time to cut the black woman some slack because at the end of the day you only hate because you lack what we have and it bothers you.

10 THINGS A WOMAN WILL LIE ABOUT AND WHY

See my posts on relationships on the rights hand side uner labels

1.AGE

I can literally count the number of times i actually told the truth when someone asked me my age and thats mostly because. As women you never want to be too old and neither do you want to be to young . Age is a number but sometimes its taken as more.
For that reason let our age be a mystery unless you need to know if shes legal.

2.INCOME

This ones simple a woman makes enough money to take care of what she wants and what she needs.Her money is non of your business unless she wants you involved.
Or sometimes she might make more money than you and doesnt want to hurt your ego.
Or simply becuse she doesnt like talking about money

3.RELATIONSHIP STATUS

Women are territorial and unless she knows she is yours and you are hers there is no way she will invest too much into a basket she isnt sure where its going. And if a woman lies about her status just know that relationship is as good as over. Because a woman knows what she wants.

4.WEIGHT

We live at a time where too much emphasis is put on looks .sometimes all a woman needs is to hear that she is perfect as she is and if she really isnt dont tell her help her loose the weight.

5.My skin/hair is just natural i dont have a routeen

This has to be one of the buggest lies .Women can be very competitive and most of the time they want to be one step ahead of the other woman.So very few times will a woman actually share in depth her beauty /skin/hair routeen. And thats just the simple truth.

6.The "I M GOOD"

If you hear this you have two options take it as it is and run with the flow or actually find out what is wrong and in most cases its not going to be a walk in the park. But you will always get extra points for being caring and showing concern and if possible solving the situation. Everyone loves a problem solver.

7.The "OMG BABE I LOVE IT.

Before you buy a woman a gift find out what she likes that way she actually loves it. When she doesnt like it and gives that fake omg i love it make sure you have a back up because she doesnt want to hurt your feelings but she is bummed.

8.I WILL BE THERE IN 30 MIN

If you are among the few who get places on time cheers.
If not and you use that lie often because you dont want to upset or disapoint the person waiting start getting ready early or just be straight up. Because by the time your actually getting ready you will need an extra 30 min.

9.I AM NOT JEALOUS

Dont believe this one at all. If she wasnt jealous she wouldnt be bothered.

10. WHATS HER BODY COUNT

This goes back to that statement the more women a man sleeps with he is a hero and if a woman does the same she is a whore.
However we are at a point where women own their sexuality and if it bothers you.Invent a time machine and go back in time.