INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

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Monday, June 25, 2018

BEING STRONG DOESNT MEAN THE ABSENCE OF VULNERABILITY


Easy to judge a book by its cover, And miss the essence beneth its cover.


They say ,"the prettiest smile hides the most secrets.

The prettiest eyes have shed the most tears.

The kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

And those that appear to have it all, lack what they need most".

Strength is defined as the ability of a substance or object to withstand great force and pressure.

As humans we have the ability to withstand a lot. However that doesnt mean that it doesnt affect us or doesnt have an effect on us.

8 out of 10 times someone tells you "you are so strong ." They mean your ability for you to go through discomfort and not give up . Most times it is not ment
As a compliment but to pacify.

We live at a time where if you say you need help .your told to deal with it on your own. And when you make it public that you are suffering .people say you are seeking attention. We are too pre-occupied with ourown struggles that we do not see those around us are barely ok.

We are ok with fake smiles .We prefer the simplicity of the surface . Than to acknowledge the complexities of dealing with the actual depth of life and living.

Majority of the people that are hurting look as though they are fine. They are the ones that carry everyones problems and have nobody to carry their own .

Just because someone goes through struggles and you think they are strong doesnt mean that they are ok.
It doesnt mean that they are better off on their own . because they are "strong".

Beimg strong doesnt make you immume to pain and hurt .It just means you have the will power to overcome what life throws your way because it is the only solution .

RAISING YOUR CHILD ON YOUR OWN.

SEE MY POSTS ON:
Single parenting 

When im asked about parenthood i always say,
"Becoming a parent doesnt mean you have all the skills to be the best parent .
It just means that you will have to do your best for your child and be their rock during all kinds of storms in your life and theirs."

Absolutely nothing is easy about being a parent.From the day you find out you are going to be a parent . The struggle begins .

 Although you have an idea of what sacrifices will be required .It doesnt prepare you for what is actually involved.
We live at a time where single parenthood is at an all time high. Inability to parent your own child does bare its own weight .
In my opinion. I think, it is easier for an individual to realise they cannot be an adequate parent and leave than to have. A parent that isnt fully invested in their childs life.
A parent that will bring disappointment and cause the child emotional baggage. As a result of indecision.
At the same time . We should understand that children dont bring themselves into this world and ,
That you have to adapt to the role because it is a very fulfilling role.
The innocence and purity of the child and the childs journey brings lessons that make the journey easier. Where there is a will their is a way.
The rewards of being a parent is a gift from God and he doesnt give you something you cannot handle.
We do try to shield our children from alot that goes on around them. However with age they start to understand things better. They make their own realizations and as parents the best thing to do is to tell them the truth when the time comes.
The fact that you chose to be the best for your child says more about your character than the person that chose to leave selfishly. Dont be ashamed that you are alone . Dont allow self pitty and doubt take control .
Every life is a blessing from God and he watches over his own.
In all things ,take each day as it comes. Learn. Love your angel and know that, the grass does get greener with time just be patient.

Monday, June 18, 2018

Bad boys Vs THE GENTLEMAN

 LOVE YOU A GOOD BOY IT'S JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBED

She thought she was the one that would cause his heart to change."i know he is a player but I'm going to be the one to make him hang up his Jersey and settle down."

Words that led many women to an early grave.
Against all warning she dove into the ice water and swam in it till she drowned.

He opened the door for her. He was the first voice she heard when she woke up and the last voice she heard before she slept.He was a sweetheart .
He was a dear .A friend what a zone.
 He made her laugh when she cried.
He comforted her even when it hurt him.because he knew he would give up the world for her.
Yet she couldn't see it ...and if she did she chose to ignore it he was almost too good for her.


He was her drug and she was blindly addicted.
He was a bad boy with sweet lips He knew exactly what to say and when to say it ..His words charmed her like a serpent tightening its grip around its victim ,slowly until its too late.

He remembered her birthday. And always gave her chocolates on valentines.He gave her his jacket when she got cold and sat with her when she had a cold.He was everything on her checklist but she stayed away because he wasn't wild enough. She believed good boys where no fun.What she didn't know was ,"there is always a wild side to an innocent face."

She was looking for love.He just wanted to have fun.
So he stringed her along looking for his next muse.
He made her feel small. Nothing she did was good enough.
He disliked this he disliked that .Now she wasn't even sure of her abilities anymore .She forgot  her worth.

When he praised her. She doubted it and responded dismissively.All she wanted was to fade away and he could see it too so he made it his mission to make her blossom again .whether or not she would notice him . He refused to leave her side. He stayed long enough .Just enough . In time for her to notice him, and accept her fate.
.
The devil gives you what you want but takes away what belongs to you .
While God gives you what you need and prepares you for what belongs to you.
Live . Laugh .Learn and Love wisely before its too late

Monday, June 4, 2018

UNWORTHY LOVE


WE DO NOT DROWN BY FALLING IN WATER .WE DROWN BY STAYING IN AFTER WE FALL.

She's far from the devil they have claimed her to be.

They acted as lucifer. While demanding she gives them heaven.

Heaven was made for angels.  
It's not a good home for people that resemble fallen angels.

More than herself,she loved him .
She was never enough but she loved him.
She gave her heart and soul to love him.
All she got in return were the scars she now bared.

Unworthy was his love scrapps fit for no begger.
Yet she sat at his feet begging for the remains of his love.
She was the trash unknowing she could be a treasure

Despite all he did, she loved him.
She created a paradise he couldnt see. 
So he roamed around blind to her sacrifice.

So alone on her paradise.
That the lone soul disintergrated.

She is human not saint.
So when the cold ice around his heart wouldnt melt .
With her head hanging low she reached for one last embrace and walked away.

What she didnt know was she was now free.
Her light would shine brighter and her smile would capture the heart of another lone soul.
Where she would recieve heaven .
The kind of love an angel like her deserved.


Your love will only be priceless to a person that recognises your worth.
If you do not recognise this .You have not recognised your own worth.

Live Love Learn Laugh and remember.
YOU ARE WORTHY
YOU DESERVE YOUR OWN VERSION OF HEAVEN
AND TO RECIEVE IT YOU MUST LET GO .

Friday, June 1, 2018

THE THREAT OF FEMINISM TO A NARCISSIST

 In helping  men find cures to deal with the woman of today it is rather important to first describe the “woman of today”..

In these modern times today’s woman is a multifaceted complex being.
 She is independent, yet she needs others, she is mans equal yet seeks protection from her partner.
Todays woman is a manager, actor , teacher , farmer, botanist , makangaa, austanaut , bus driver ,she is all that there is to be and at the same time  .She is all that and a lot more.

 She is informed , outspoken  she is a pioneer of sorts, a manager of sorts in this organism we call life. The woman of today can be anything she wants to be, in character and career. 
She does all thos and makes it look effortless. She is the heart of the home a companion.A care giver a nurturer a mom and most importantly a wife.

To be totally frank, the woman of today is spread out, filtered by social class, income and many others .The woman’s experience today is a mirad and an array of talents.

So how does that stack up against the man today.
To look at the totality of todays woman.

To solve this we have to look at the modern woman in context of what she faces today. Many women are awakening to a world that seemed to be domineered by men and many a times feminists have been called out coming too strong against men.

To be honest the women that have worked hard and strong and have dominated their professions may be paired with a man who dominates his career path and as alphas they barley balance out.
They could feed on their fears or mislead one another in an unending battle of competition, but narcissism is gratification from vanity.

Lets look at narcissim.

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes. The term originated from Greek  semythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.
(Take in that analogy it has true depth)

The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding.

 They may also concentrate on grandiose fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. 
These characteristics typically begin in early adulthood and must be consistently evident in multiple contexts, such as at work and in relationships. 

People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they are superior or special, and often try to associate with other people they believe are unique or gifted in some way. 

This association enhances their self-esteem, which is typically quite fragile underneath the surface. Individuals with NPD seek excessive admiration and attention in order to know that others think highly of them. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat, and may be left feeling humiliated or empty when they experience an "injury" in the form of criticism or rejection. 

Which makes them feel that inorder to feel better they must undermine those they feel are a threat.
They are harsh and can be cruel. One minute they seem like saints the next they are the source of unending be-littlement

Here’s a checklist to know if you’re a real feminist or just a person who’s noticed how their own life isn’t fair:
  • When a lot of people. Unlike You tell you you don’t get where they’re coming from, you say they’re all out to get you.…and you unquestionably think this attack on you is far more awful than anything they may have had to endure.
  • You get defensive when people suggest you aren’t as enlightened as Buddha, rather than welcoming the opportunity to learn and further your own deprogramming.
  • You think you are Too Cool to be influenced.
  • When a lot of other feminists say something you disagree with, and you tell them how stupid they are, and when they try explain that, you refuse to back down from supporting your perspective as the only valid perspective
  • You engage in counter-stereotyping  whenever you feel like it (I’ve been guilty of this in the past myself).
  • …without even explaining that your counter-stereotypes apply only to white men, because you keep forgetting men of color exist and experience a whole different intersection of privileges and anti-privileges than the men you want to be.
  • If this list sounds like you… you’ll probably need someone else to tell you, since you’re just Too Cool. But if someone tells you it sounds like you, take a deep breath and admit to yourself, “I can be wrong. I can be. It is possible.” And then listen.

He doesnt understand her kind. So  to despise/be-little her is what makes more sense.
She stands tall with herback straight.
 Has no time for his little tales for she knows where she is going and refuses to allow her space to be contaminated by a person that doesnt know her value.
She spent many years believing all she was told and soon believed, she was the probelm. 
With no confidence she was a puppet on a string an empty soul a walking corpse and he moved her as he pleased.

On the morning that it dawned on her.
 At her lowest of lows she was finally ready to reach out of the bottomless pit and reclaim,all that was robbed of her.

She climbed out and refused to look back. Lest she turn to a piller of salt...
 That morning for the first time she looked at the mirror and saw the face of a stranger .
A drained soul , a low soul . oh my soul

She thought to herself...

Dark circles around her eyes .the darkness has poured out from within .
For if the eyes are the door to the soul this soul needed to be freed.
She now  has her walls up you have to take them down each layer to get to the creamy center and. To some its too much to ask .
But it is through her walls that she begins to live.
She heals and she now gains the strength to be who she is destined to be.
She is now free . Out of the prison that was negativity.

Maybe her love is too much to see so to them love is blind.

Women are Gods gift to this existance in building her you build a better life.

Live this life learning .Laugh and Love and in all dont let anyone stop you from achieving your goals.