INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Monday, October 10, 2022

BE THE CAT WITH NINE LIVES

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TODAY ISNT WHAT IT IT WILL FEEL LIKE TOMORROW
Take a deep breath in . Take a deep breath out. That is what time is another heart beat another moment. Another chance. Another day , another night . Another opportunity to make our dreams come true.

We have been made to think that life should be a straight line aiming at whT we want to achieve. There's more to it than that and we should see it like a cat with nine lives to live 

Create ,break ,win ,lose ,cry ,laugh, and build again . We have the opportunity to live our lives in many  lives until our final breath be anything. Be everything you want to be . Experience it all from different perspectives and then fr those moments in memories choose what life means to you.


Tuesday, September 27, 2022

CHAPTERS IN LIFE

NO TWO SEASONS ARE EVER THE SAME.
One thing about my blogging is that it has been inconsistent. For the longest time I felt like I was failing at my passion only for me to realise that I don't want to write or podcast for the sake of having content out there.

I want to speak when i have something important to share and that only happens when I take time to listen to the lessons I have to learn during each chapter of my life.

Sometes we ask why instead of asking what lesson do I need to learn from this.
And that's what I would like to share with you.
Just like your pet relies on you for sustinence so should you rely on the person that created you. We are like pieces on a chess board you make every step with am end goal. You know the outcome desired but Along the way you have to loose pieces inorder for you to get to win and along the way SE people will take pieces of you. But the most important thing is that you know the direction you want to go in.

That's all for now. Live  life. Learn,Laugh ,Love and follow your dreams.

Tuesday, September 6, 2022

JUST KEEP SWIMMING

ONE DAY YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE AND SEE YOU WHERE JUST BEGINNING TO BLOOM

Stop saying why me and start saying what is it I am yet to learn.
That in itself is the hardest thing to do but it is the most needed thing to do.
Everything happens for a reason and doesn't last forever as long as you keep moving. 
To change the way you think about the hard lessons you learn. Is to see that there is something in you that needed to be re moulded ,inorder for you to be the best version of yourself .
After all what is meant for you will always be yours and what isn't will fall off and die .
All of this is to allow you to fulfill your destiny...
Live ,Love ,Learn and Keep taking the next step and see where it takes you.

Wednesday, July 13, 2022

A MOTHERS LOVE PART 2

THE MOST MAGICAL DAY OF MY LIFE WAS WHEN I BECAME A MOTHER.
I've been looking back at my journey of motherhood I must say it's nothing like what I envisioned it to be . What I know is that it is much better than what I thought.
To be a mother is to learn and unlearn.
It is to admit you are wrong and might not always have the answers.
Being a mother is locking yourself in the bathroom long enought to come out with a smile on your face 
It is to sacrifice everything so that someone else can have everything.
It is to live your life with your heart on your sleeve.
It is to roar like a lioness To chase away the enemy.
But be gentle enough to carry your cub in your mouth without hurting it.
It is to discover what life means and to have your heart break because of the knowledge you have to carry with you.
It is to live your nightmares and still believe in that dream.
It is to know nothing at all but share what you know as if you know it all 
It is to patiently wait quietly until they discover how amazing you are.

GROWING OLDER (WISDOM IN AGING)

YOU ALREADY ARE THAT PERSON SO PUT YOURSELF IN THAT PLACE.
Looking back on my life I've come to see aging isn't what you think it's going to be and also being young isn't the only thing you are going to be.
It's a delicate balance.You've got to give yourself the right amount of time. Enought to learn and apply what you have learnt and enough to know when to unlearn what you learnt.
I've also found that seeing the world through a child's eyes means to be yourself and not let external factors dictate who you should be.
I've also realized that the fountain of youth does exist but it exists in your mind and what you feed it and what you allow it.
I have also realized that as good as it feels to receive it feels much better to give .
I've realized that we allow our thoughts to imprison us but it is in our words that we find freedom.
To live you must love and to love means you will loose something to gain something else in return.
I have seen that sometimes it's when it's darkest that you get the strength to live.
I have learnt that faith truly is all you need .
Believing in something ensures that you get up and try again even when you don't want to .
However my favorite lesson is that you can never do things on your own you have to have people in your life to show you what life truly is .

Live,learn ,laugh ,love and never stop dreaming....
Http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist 



Saturday, May 28, 2022

THE EASIEST BUT HARDEST THING YOU CAN EVER LEARN

The simplest stories are the hardest to tell and the hardest stories echo the loudest.
I closed my eyes to find myself stairing at a younger version of myself.
And all I could hear was the phrase from that song "don't worry be happy."
Looking at that version of myself .
Knowing what I know now is that as easy , and  as true as those words where . It was the hardest to achieve.
You never know it's going to be alright until you have gone through it.
So all you have to do is show up so it can all fall into place.
Such is life full of complex simplicity and vice versa 
So if we know it's going to be better tomorrow than it was yesterday in the long run .
Why is it much harder to convince ourself today!
The answer I have found is because we put to much faith in the problem than we do in the solution.
Accept what you can't change, Learn from what you can change and be ok to let them both go .
So you can achieve what you want to.

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

HOW TO STOP DEPRESSION

In life we sometimes get mad at the people who are in our life for staying that we push them away and hate them for leaving.

Pain ,trauma, physical reminders and emotional scars have a way of being etched so deep in our mind that we go on an instinctual defensive mode.
We raise our walls and without knowing the very thing we where trying to avoid is what happens .

How do we avoid this ? The simple but hard solution is to simply to deal with the root cause of our triggers. Whatever causes you to need to protect yourself even when you don't need to protect yourself needs to be regulated.
How you ask? By simply saying this made me heart because it reminded me of this. However you then have to realize that this is a completely different situation and or person and or thing. And judging it based on a past experience unrelated is making a poor decision an unfair decision.

We need to learn how to heal our emotions by feeding them on a healthy emotional diet.  Feeling yourself with love, acceptance,and kindness . Knowing that someone else's decisions and opinions are their own and they should have little to no effect on how you see yourself.

You are the most important person in your life .Fill yourself with positivity and reassurance and most importantly self love.

Let your guard down. Set aside your pride and disconnect all the parts of your life that only bring you pain even if it also brings you joy. Choose you . Choose to heal .

Cry through the lows ,laugh through the highs but don't ever agree to feel that you don't deserve to be here Abit longer to try achieve the happiness you deserve.


Wednesday, March 30, 2022

FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO YOU

YOU ARE NOT LOST YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU NEED TO BE.
The hardest battle you will ever have to fight is the battle that occurs within yourself. It can't be seen. It can't be touched ,it can only be felt.
You find yourself asking yourself is this normal? am I normal? how do I  make it stop? why is it this happening to me?
What I have discovered in moments where I had to sit still with my self is .sometimes life floods you with so much sometimes just so you can sit down and accept that you don't have the control you thought you did.
Life has a way of putting you exactly where you are supposed to be. At the exact moment you are supposed to be there inorder for you to grow.
Change is hard and we are often reluctant to go through it . But what life is to me is a series of seasons of change . You aren't supposed to stay the same . You are supposed to grow. You are supposed to fall.You are supposed to crawl and then once you have done all of that you will be able to fly 
My philosophy is accept what you can't change . Change what you can and learn where you need to grow. Life is intense but if you can't stop and find peace .it also has away of ensuring you slow down.
Love the season you are in because it only happens once .
Live,love,learn,laugh and never stop dreaming because anything is possible.


 

Thursday, March 3, 2022

BLESSINGS BY LAURA STORY

 

I stumbled upon this song thanks to my daughter and I felt like I should share the lyrics  coz I love it 
YouTube link to song

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
… 'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

… We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

… When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

… What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise


Disclaimer I don't own the rights to this song

Thursday, February 10, 2022

THE SEVEN LOVELY LOGICS

 

START HEALING YOURSELF FROM WITHIN

On my own journey of self discovery I realized the most important thing in your life is your mental well being. Which also happens to be the hardest thing to deal with.

You see we have been told all our lives what we should be doing. What we should be achieving at this and that period of time . How we should behave,How we should take care of this and that. So much so that we start to focus more on the things outside of ourselves more than what is going on within ourselves.

Most of us even hate to be alone with our own thoughts. We fill our time doing everything else but checking in on ourselves.

Which when you really ask yourself why doesn't make sense . Because isn't everything we do meant to be for the betterment of our own tomorrow!

Until you are able to sit still look yourself in the mirror and apply the seven lovely logic's in our lives . We will be unable to achieve true happiness. 

Because how can we expect external things and people make us happy when we can't even make ourselves happy .

Live,Love,Learn,Laugh and start to heal yourself .

Forgive yourself and love yourself more than you ever have in your life.

Monday, January 31, 2022

KNOWING YOUR TRIGGERS AND HEALING FROM YOUR TRAUMA

YOUR TRAUMA IS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT HEALING IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Let me start by defining what trauma is.

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. 
Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. 

There are three main types of trauma
Acute.
Chronic.
Complex.

Acute trauma results from a single incident.
Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged such as domestic violence or abuse.
Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

Alot of the time when we experience certain traumas and haven't dealt with those feelings or have not gone to seek help inorder to begin to heal from trauma and we end up trauma bonding .

Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse. The bond is created due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement in most cases acts of kindness or one seeks forgiveness and says they don't know what came over them or are truly sorry.

Most trauma bonds occur in relationships.which basically is a deep emotional attachment that develops in a relationship characterized by abuse that's emotional, physical, or both. ... "Exploitive relationships create trauma bonds. These occur when a victim bonds with someone who is destructive to them and choose to stay for various reasons.

All in all trauma not identified will always cause destruction of your own life and those around you.
We don't deserve to go through pain and trauma . However it is a part of life and it is important that we choose to want better for ourselves . To improve our lives and enable ourselves to live in our truth. 
To do that it is important that we face our demons no matter how much it hurts . Some scars last a lifetime however inorder for us to live this lifetime we have got to accept the things we can't change and change the things that we are able to.

Believe in you. You deserve the best and don't doubt that and then work towards getting the grass green . Live, Learn,Laugh,Love and never stop dreaming . 
If you need help feel free to reach out to me and I will ensure you get help.   Http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist

Monday, January 24, 2022

LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE LOVED.


As we begin the new year we all have ideas of what we would like to accomplish before the year ends . Some of us chose not to have resolutions because by March we have already gone back to old ways so we ask what's the point of writing any. But the thing we should tell ourselves instead of what is the point is..... I really want to get this and this done but if I don't . I forgive myself and as long as I have breath in me I have a chance to get it done. That is why I felt like self love should be the first thing I write about this year. What is self love you may ask?
Self-love is defined as a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.

My journey into self love began 9 years ago . I knew I needed to put more emphasis on self love when I got to a point in my life where I wasn't where I wanted to be and was unhappy with my choices that got me to where I was. I couldn't stand to see my own reflection in the mirror for more than 10 seconds because all I could see was the face of the person that let me down and that person was myself. I could see the unhappiness in my own eyes and I was soley responsible for my own unhappiness.

Getting myself to where I am today has been a journey of self discovery. I have had to see my own pain and make peace within myself. Forgive myself and others and let go of the pain so that I could find healing. I had to learn how to love myself. How to accept myself for all that I am an all that I am not. Above all I had to learn that if I don't make myself happy I shouldn't expect other people to do it for me.
I read a quote that said you are the most important person in your life . Everyone is responsible for themselves. TBH when I understood that I felt Abit lighter.
So I would like to share with you some of the things I learnt and continue to learn and apply in my own life to date. My hope is that you learn to love yourself and to heal so that you can grow and be who you want to be.

1) Get to know yourself. Who you are .what you like .What you hate .What makes you happy and where you want to go.
2) Learn to say no . Don't over extend yourself . Do what you are comfortable with doing and that should be enough .Don't take on more than you can handle.
3)Be present in the moment. Time flys and we will never get to go back in time all we will have is our memories so make many and be fully present in each moment.You won't get it back.
4)Don't compare yourself to other people. Life is a journey and not a race be you at your own pace.
5)Forgive yourself for your shortcomings.
If you can't forgive yourself who will.
6) Accept yourself for who you are and what you are not.
7)Be kind to yourself and spoil yourself . Show yourself love for all you have been through and reward your body spirit and soul for the fact that you keep going. And prioritize me time by doing something you enjoy doing.
8) Celebrate your triumphs allow yourself to grieve and heal from your losses . Lastly allow yourself to feel your feeling.
9)Stand up for yourself.
10)Know that it is perfectly okay to ask for help .It takes a village to go through life.
11) know that not everybody will like you and it's not your job to please them. Just be you and do you 
12)Practice gratitude and thanks giving.
13)Take care of your body so that it can take care of you.
14)Be kind to yourself.
15) Surround yourself with positive energy . Leave what is negative and toxic behind.
16)Heal from all the scars you have gotten along the way
17) Be kind to yourself and others.
18) Show love and compassion. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you 
19) Choose YOU.
20) Perfom an act of kindness to someone less fortunate it will always fill your heart to see someone else happy .

Those have been some of the areas I have focused don and I hope they help you on your journey of self love . 
LIVE LAUGH LOVE LEARN AND NEVER STOP DREAMING.  For more check out and. Subscribe to my podcast http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist



Monday, November 29, 2021

Speaking out against molestation in kibera #nairobifeminist

We all have our lives to live but let us also learn to help those that need help even when they don't ask . Let us learn to be our brother's keeper.

To make a donation towards helping these boys and the countless others that reach out to me for help please click on the donation box on your right or click here http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist

Don't forget to Like, Share and Subscribe.



Tuesday, October 19, 2021

WHY SHOULD A WOMANS SUCCESS BE A THREAT

WE SHOULD ALL SEE INEQUALITY AND WANT TO SAY NO THAT IS NOT RIGHT. LETS PUT AN END TO IT....
'....We teach boys to be afraid of fear ,of weakness, and vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves because they have to be " a hard man".... we end up leaving them with fragile egos. And we raise girls to cater to those fragile egos.

We teach girls to shrink themselves make themselves smaller. We say to girls you can have ambition but not too much .You should aim to be successful but not too successful otherwise you will threaten the man.
If you are the bread winner in your relationship with a man act like you are not. Especially in public otherwise you will emasculate him. But what if we question the premise itself? " (Extract from we should all be feminists by chimamanda adichie )

To be honest the way in which she put this book together and specific these words is just truthin itself.  Why can't it simply be , the person with more money or more financial capability pay? Why can't it be. We spend the same amount of time at work doing the same job we should be paid equally? Why does It have to be because he is male  and you are female a good enough answer?
Why does it have to be based on size and physical build that shows ability instead of what we bring to the table?

Gender equality simply asks that we are given the same opportunities Based on our capabilities and not as a result of a role that has been forced on us.
Equality is to eliminate the notion that one is better than the other and allow for all to exist and fill the same space for a free exchange. 

A woman's success should be a success for all . It shouldn't be seen as something that makes her unruly ,undesirable and difficult. As compared to  a man's success which shows his capabilities, his hard work ,his determination, which automatically makes him a good man and husband.

If we all have a brain why should women be only allowed to use parts of it and selectively know when to show intelligence and men can be themselves at all times. Why is it ok for a man to question a zig zag line and a problem for a woman to question the same line? Is it so absurd the feminine perspective is just as equally deserving of observation and  opportunity? Why does respect have to be something a woman shows a man and not necessarily something that a man shows a woman? Why should one be the sacrificial lamb inorder to help the other achieve their best instead of allowing both to enable each other to be successful and grow together?  We need to see gender as who we are and allow for us all  to be free and not just what we have been taught to be because what we have been taught to be has caused more harm than good. More insecurities.



YOU ARE EITHER A BLESSING OR A LESSON IN LIFE




 LIVE LIFE, LOVE, LEARN AND DONT FORGET TO LAUGH 
I've always been the type of person that wants to learn as many lessons as I can from those around me or even books . I don't like learning the hard way because I feel like it takes longer and you loose alot more time in the process.

Unfortunately it can't always be that way and in all honesty the best lessons are always the ones you have to learn the hard way. 

I read a quote that said you only go through it because you needed to know about it inorder to help yourself and someone else. That's the essence of this blog share what you learn so that someone else knows they are not alone .

With every bad comes some good and with every good thing comes some bad.  Just because we constantly go through rough spots doesn't mean it's because of something bad we have done it happens because there was some good we where trying to hold on to longer than we should have . Inorder for growth to occur we have to be put out of our comfort  zone for expansion to occur. 

You learnt a lesson to be blessed and to be a blessing to someone else. You are better off for your experience today than you where a year ago so take what you learn and keep going. Don't be afraid of the hard times sail through them and the more you do that the better off you will be in the long-run.



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