INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

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Monday, February 24, 2020

THE BEST PART OF GROWING UP IS THAT YOU GET TO BE A MATURE VERSION OF YOUR TRUE SELF

GROWING UP IS TAKING WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNT AND MOVING FORWARD SHEDDING AWAY WHAT IS NOT IMPORTANT AND NOT TAKING IT TO HEART.
see my post on prison of the mind

Sometimes when you go through life in a hurry all you do is miss moments and its only after they pass that you see the importance they had .You will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

As we  grow up we realise that it is less important to have many friends and more important to have real friends, because now you know better and you choose what is best for you.

You become less concerned with trying to make a momentary impression and become more focused on making a lasting impression.
You arrive at this point in life after you stop cairing about , what other people have to say about you and start cairing for how you feel and what is fulfilling.

As i continue to grow up i see more and more of my younger  self come out the parts of me that i held back or was ashamed of because of what i was told or what people said or felt .Start to come out again and that to me is beautiful because when you watch a child do things they are confident.
Nothing holds them back because they believe in themselves and they are always cheered on.
So i challenge you to do the same. Set yourself free from that prison that you created in your mind based on the opinion of others and your own insecurities.
Cheer yourself on
.Be like that child free to be who they want to be . Unapologetically .


LETTING GO OF YOUR DADDY ISSUES / MUMMY ISSUES

 A CHILD SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO BEG THEIR PARENTS FOR ATTENTION.
Love is seen and kindness is felt.and that's what the world needs the most.
Pure love and pure kindness.
There are three kinds of people.
Those that grew up with the best dad in their homes and took it for granted.
The ones that grew up without a father in their home envying those that where lucky enough to have one.
Lastly those that grew up wishing they didn't have their father around  but feel that their life would have been better without him in it.

However what they will all have in common  is that they  will all share the pain of a fathers abscence at one point .
I say all that to say that it is in human nature to only appreciate what we have after the loss of it.

I like a quote that says,''you can not change a person who doesnt see the error in  their actions''because we spend  alot of time trying to correct people or change people and all we do is end up hurting ourselves and  those around us in the process.
People are the way they are because that is who they choose to be.
Their is nothing you can do to change someone unless they want the help.One thing i learnt when i became a parent is that , Being a parent  is  a series of conscious decisions  made every single day to  choose to BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD.

As kids we expect that our  parents to have all the answers and when they dont its almost offensive to us. What we forget is that, You can't  give a solution to a problem  if you havent  figured it out yourself.
You can't  allow yourself to damage your own life as a result of someone elses actions.
You also cant choose to play the victim for the rest of your life .
Your life turned out the way it is because that was a lesson for you to learn and it had to be  apart of your history.

What you have to do is accept that it happend because looking  for someone to blame can't undo what was done. It will not change your situation. Only make it worse.
Nobody can can heal you . Nobody can complete you or fill the void that was left as a result.
The only way you heal is by you dealing with the harsh reality .
The actual truth.
Otherwise the rejection or pain you  went through or continue to go through will only make it difficult for you and  those who choose to be around you.

You also cant hide behind being  tough or looking tough because that shell does crack.
Pretending to be a savage will not heal that hole in your heart. Trying to be tough in the name of protecting yourself you only drive people that are trying to help you away, and guess what no man is an  island.  If you choose to be one  just know it is a very lonely place to be.


Wednesday, February 12, 2020

PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFICULT TO LOVE.

WHEN THE WALLS YOU HAVE BUILT TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM PAIN CAUSE YOU PAIN INSTEAD.
See part 1 Women who are difficult to love

The reason we close our eyes before something traumatic happens is because we don't want to see the pain occur. Its the bodies way of protecting itself.

Now translate that into everyday life. Where we go through problems, learn lessons and overcome them.

Our mind also does the same thing especially when it comes to human relationships. We build walls to protect ourselves from being hurt. We do so in different ways.

Sometimes we do so by pushing people away because, they make us feel/experience things in a way we have never felt before which makes us feel uncomfortable. 
Almost like it is a bitter pill to swallow. 
To think that someone could actually love them and their imperfections. 
Can make you wonder how can somebody love me if we don't love myself.

Withholding love is a form of self sabotage .As what we withhold from others we are withholding from ourselves.
We need to remember that one can only give as much love as they have within themselves and which means if you don't have a lot to give .Giving becomes a task .

Sometimes we try so hard to place the blame on everyone/everything else yet we still can't seem to find the enemy. And the truth is simply because we haven't looked deep within ourselves

We sabotage things in our own lives because deep down we feel like we don't deserve them. Which is a result of living a life where you are constantly criticized or a life where you are constantly made to feel less of what you are.
This is where it gets tricky because breaking patterns that have been with you and have seen from those around you is hard.

We sometimes we try avoid making mistakes we see others making and without knowing walk ourselves into the same troubles.
Because avoiding something and dealing with it are two different things.

Live your life truly dont be affraid to feel because emotional suffering is just your body's way of letting you know you are not living your truth.

Live, Love ,Learn ,and please  don't stand in your own way.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

UNCRUSHABLE SPIRIT

YOU BECOME UNSTOPPABLE WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT THE ONLY PERSON HOLDING YOU BACK WAS YOU.
The moments in my life that have brought me the most joy,are the moments where I took a chance on myself and preserved long enough to reap the rewards.

Nobody just wakes up one day and says ,"let me do something risky."
 Everything has its own build up and by the time your getting to the point where you want to step out of your comfort zone. Its at the point where you feel that you want more for yourself\more out of yourself.

A lot of the time we live life not utilizing our full potential . For some they find a sweet spot and stick to it,because they are Okay. For others fear holds them back .The fear of failing themselves however what they don't realize is by doing nothing you have already failed.

The biggest rewards in life happen when you take a risk and the only way that happens is by you agreeing that irregardless of what happens on that journey you will be persistent and will patiently persevere as you earn your stripes.
Life is a learning experience and as long as you believe in yourself the highs and lows will be worth it in the long run.


Saturday, January 18, 2020

CULTURE DOESN'T MAKE PEOPLE;PEOPLE MAKE CULTURE

WALK IN ANOTHER WOMANS SHOES

Every day most of us wake up go through our
daily chores,work and family lives and are privileged enough to wear clothes that can protect us from all the elements and we don't worry about these things because it's a norm.

Today I wake up in thought of the Women I have met who didn't have the privilege of waking up to the most basic of things.

Women who Woke up and never thought they would live through the day.

Women who lost loved ones in horrendous circumstances.

Women whose families were displaced little or no food or water.

Women who had lost all hope of a better tomorrow.

Women who were broken down but could still see a future for themselves even though they didn't know how they would get a step ahead .
They knew that there disparity would lead them to greater places than there current situations.

Here in Kenya we have seen or heard of all these things.
Over the last few years,we have seen our beautiful country been rocked on the lines of tribalism,terrorism and abject poverty.

Although we know of what happens and the media does cover such situations it later fades away and becomes part of a memory to those of us who are not directly affected.

However those who have lived it have to relive those gruesome moments over and over they have to deal with the loss of loved ones,the loss of places they made homes,the visible scars of nights of terror. Mental scars of not being able to live life as they once knew.

I have met brilliant Women who have suffered from domestic violence young girls who had to run away from home to avoid being married off.

We have opened our home to girls who didn't have a home and young girls whose families practiced Female Genital Mutilation and had to go through it because they didn't know how to get out of it.

Women who were sexually abused by relatives at a young age.
Women who were gang raped.
Women who turned to drinking to drown there sorrows to forget there pain just for a few moments.

We all know women whose lives have been anything but easy,some of us are living those lives.Meeting these women.

I lived those moments with them through their words.
I Witnessed the hardships they endure daily.
 I became part of their story and I am grateful to them.In life.

 If you become so focused on self fulfillment there is little to gain.

 Our individual lives are hectic however as humans we should be different we should be able to too see the pain in someone else and want better for them .

Help them through whatever they are going through not avoid them like they have the plague or talk about them behind there backs feeling for them but doing nothing to help them in whatever capacity we can.

Nobody likes to feel alone sometimes being there for them is all they need to get the strength they need to get through .

Today I would like to challenge you reader to walk in someone's shoes you don't have to go far out and visit the various centres to volunteer charity begins at home look in your life and see where you can help someone who you can see or know needs your help and do it not for You but for the betterment of their lives.

And if you are living that life listen to that voice from within telling you not to give up as long as you are still breathing you have the chance to be better to achieve the dreams hopes and goals you have.

Live,love.laugh,Learn and share with those you care about


Saturday, January 11, 2020

FALL DOWN 9 TIMES AND GET UP 10 MORE

THE GIFT OF LIFE IS THAT YOU HAVE TIME TO ENSURE YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF IT.
What I love about reading is that  books are shortened versions of peoples life experiences.
To me books are life cheat codes.
You have the beginning
The climax and the conclusion \end.

The places that hold the story together are all the little things that happen in between .
In our own lives that would be the not so glamourous moments the ones that don't get posted on social media. The moments where there is the most growth.

Truth be told those are the mo.ents that shape you into the person you need to become in order to accomplish what you need to accomplish .

Never think for a moment that whatever your going through in life is happening without a reason .Most of the time its happening  for your betterment. To strengthen uplifts and show you that every time you feel like you could have broken you never did means there is still a lot more you can take because you don't have an option its what you where made for.

So that by the time you get to where you can begin to write your own story . You will have accumilated enough wisdom to encourage someone younger or even older than you .Who feels that they are at the end of the rope and can't take anymore.

And in that moment you will know that your ups and downs where worth it and you will be able to show them that .Their rough start at life is only a setback for an even bigger come back.

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

WHEN DREAMS DO COME TRUE.

SPEAK YOUR DREAMS OUT LOUD ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO GET THEM DONE WITHOUT FAIL.

We get to live this life only once

The fact that most of us spend a lot of time stressing about things that don't matter . or that some of us survive life feeling like it's more of a burden.
Uninspired and unmoved .
That we live life without truly doing what makes us happy.

I believe if we could all take more risks and keep striving to achieve what others consider fantasies or dreams (which ultimately is the hardest pasth but with the best rewards) we would all be happier. Because the only thing impossible in this world is just the word impossible. We have infinite possibilities yet we restrict ourselves and it bothers me.Why would anyone settle for mediocrity !

I am constantly haunted by the quote,"most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us".

It worries me because I feel like I have a lot to accomplish before I go and I would like to make sure when I do go .

I've checked off everything off of my to do list .However my own fears sometimes get the best of me and it takes me longer than I should to do what I want and need to do

2019 has got to be the year that I got to live out dreams I knew would happen but I didn't think would happen so soon.
Although most of them happened before I was ready.......They happened and made me realise that although life seems uncertain. There are certain things you know deep deep down are written in the stars for you and only you, doesn't matter how hard you ignore them or try to change them .

You have to accept that nothing new happens under the sun. You are living your life based on a book that was already written and the only power you have is the power to make that ending one that makes you proud.

Live life its hard but you need to learn so that you can later laugh and love .

Happy new year .Never stop dreaming because as impossible as it is to believe that dreams do come true.

Imagine what it would feel like to see yourself on the other side living a dream you thought would only be just a dream.

You are like a ray of sunshine so shine bright.