INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

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Saturday, April 24, 2021

THE FILTERS WE PUT ON IN LIFE

WE PUT ON FILTERS IN LIFE AS A RESULT OF OUR PAST EXPERIENCES NOT KNOWING THAT THOSE FILTERS INHIBIT US FROM LIVING LIFEIN FULL COLOUR
Life is a series of continuous lessons. Some of those lessons bring us to our knees and almost cripple us. Others we learn from people around us. What you cannot do is stop the process once it begins to unfold.

Look at it this way . When you where younger everything excited you . You where open to endless possibilities and open to the adventure of finding out where the road takes you. As you get older you learn lessons that make you smarter and you begin to evaluate everything sometimes too much that you talk yourself out of an adventure or opportunity because you don't want something to disappoint you, or even go wrong like it did previously. 

That shell we create around us as a protective layer sometimes is the very thing that hinders you from doing what you are supposed to do or hinders you from achieving what you where hoping to achieve. In that way you end up standing in your own way .A quote that keeps me on my toes says," That which we fear we become and that which we judge we become".
Look back in your own life and see areas where you stopped your own blessings  out of fear and evaluate whether or not you want to continue down that road.

Don't let what is happening on the outside  harden your heart. Life is an experience live it  ,learn what you can ,laugh and heal from what you can't change and never stop dreaming. 

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

PRAY

PRAYING IS RELEASING YOUR SPIRIT TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CREATOR SO DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK OUT LOUD

The holy month of Ramadan on the Muslim calender is here and i remember as a kid how amazing and hard I thought it was but the determination the dedication and the passion I watched  growing up from both family and friends made it even more beautiful. To fast and pray the whole day and then break your fast with your loved ones with good food laughter brings up many memories for me.

You know we then grow up see what life is. Have our own arguments with God as to why some prayers aren't answered or for some people who go through turmoil in life and try praying and become convinced that God doesn't listen or love them and even decide to switch religions or drop religion and God all together.

One thing I've come to understand about faith as I grow older is .sometimes you will not get what you want . Sometimes you will want to give up , sometimes you question everything. However the thing is the person who created you and put you on this earth irregardless of religion or how much you feel neglected by him . He doesn't change he remains and will remain long after you are gone. He even knew at one point you would feel as you do. 
Whether or not you believe it or not you where created and everyone is here for a purpose just as the eco system balances out with every species in it and if one stops existing the balance is lost.

Someone once told me everyone's existence /destiny is intertwined with someone else's and even though your existence may feel insignificant doesn't mean the space you occupy doesn't hold value to someone else So it all boils down to the kind of relationship you have with with your creator whether or not it feels like he is listening to you or not.
Take sometime close your eyes and just speak to him like a friend that just wants to hear from you . Eventually he will show you he heard you. 
If not what harm does it do to speak to your creator atleast he won't tell anyone your secrets.

Live ,laugh,love,learn and never stop praying because you could be one prayer away from your miracle . He said seek and you will find . Knock and the door will be opened . Maybe not at your timing but know he doesn't break his promises.

THE HARDEST LESSON YOU WILL EVER LEARN IN THIS LIFE IS THAT YOU ARE ALONE

LONELINESS DOESNT COME FROM HAVING NOBODY AROUND. IT COMES FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE THE THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER
You know one of those days where every thing that could go wrong just goes wrong.

That by the time it gets to the end of the day you just get into bed and feel completely drained. You wonder what's the point of life! Endless torture!  a game where you loose more than you win...

As you go through the waves and the voice in your head just keeps pounding you with even more negatively. You cry out for help but nobody can truly understand what your going through.

You want to scream that your drowning but you can't. Or even when you choose to ask for help you realise there's only so much anyone can do for you because everyone is fighting their own battles.

Or even when you are constantly there for people but no body resceprocates it back to you or in some cases people see you as a place of release .where they dump their pain all on you find peace and leave the weight on your shoulders.

It becomes clear that although we have friends who care ,family who love us and even careers that satisfy our needs and wants. You still can't help but still alone!

In those moments you wonder what life really is supposed to be about because everything you thought it was supposed to be really isn't what it's playing out to be and you wonder how can you deal with it.

I read a quote that said ,"The quicker you accept things as they are the sooner you will discover peace."
It resonates with me because I finally understood what it meant. Denial means resistance and just as the word suggest you are fighting /resisting what is occuring naturally. You got to exactly where you are based on the choices you have made. Both willingly and unwillingly.  
Your situation will not change because you don't agree with it . It will only change when you make the changes necessary . 
Before you can do that you have to sit in silence with yourself Listen to all the thoughts racing in your stillness and then silence the voices that bring you sadness, the voices that cause the resistance. Remove the fear and do what is natural without resistance.

That's why after a good cry you find peace because you have released and are no longer in resistance . You have accepted.

Live, love, laugh ,learn and never stop dreaming because dreams do come true. Ask anyone that refused to give up

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET

You ever just sit down and ask yourself if we got this life thing all mixed up. There are days we feel like we are on track achieving goals ,making money, working hard,staying out of trouble. And then there are days we think to ourselves is this all life is supposed to be.

I remember a story I was told about death . 
A man dies and goes up to find neither heaven nor hell. Just a place with souls walking around with no freedom. 
When he looked back down on earth he finally understood that he was given a chance to be free to be who he wanted to be,to explore ,to love ,to live and to learn and all he did was do what was expected like a slave of the system. He had wasted his one shot.

It resonated with me deeply so I thought I would share and ask you. What aspects of your current life do you feel you would regret of you where looking down on yourself and why aren't you doing anything to ensure you don't waste this one shot at life.. . . . . 



Monday, March 22, 2021

LIFE IS THE DANCER AND YOU ARE THE DANCE

Growing older has made me alot calmer because I've learnt that life has a way of reminding you that some things are out of your own control. 
You can't fight it.

 You just have to find a way of allowing life to do what it needs to do . Because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser.

The same way when you are sitting still in meditation taking a deep breath in and out aware of your surroundings present in the moment and just taking in everything in and releasing everything that causes you stress,discomfort, unhappiness,tension is the same way you have to take on life .

Whatever was destined to happen will happen . The best you can do is give yourself a fighting chance by learning from your failures and those that have come before you. By being patient. By learning and being open to new possibilities and by dreaming because without our dreams . We would have no motivation to keep going or get things done.

So when you get to a point where you feel as though you don't want to keep going or feel overwhelmed and drained or just unhappy take a moment. Pause take a deep breath in feel life flow through you. All around you and realise that whatever it is going on there is more to life and it is just a small fraction of it
Live ,Love,Learn,Laugh, Breaty and never stop dreaming.

Monday, February 8, 2021

200 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR PARTNER VALENTINES EDITION




Jumping into a new relationship can be exciting and sometimes we forget to ask important questions that can help us lean more about eachother. As well us clarify a few things.

So I've complied a bunch of questions that are both fun,steamy, and some that will make you have to dig deep within yourself . So have fun have some to add hit the comment section.

  • What  are your full names?
  • How old are you?
  • What is your favourite colour?
  • What is on your bucket list?
  • What is the most adventurous thing you have done?
  • Do you have health or mental health issues?
  • Are you close with your family?
  • What do you think you are ready to be in a relationship?
  • What makes you feel like this relationship between us is what you need?
  • What is your favourite part of my personality?
  • What makes you happy/sad in relationships?
  • What is the biggest lesson you have learnt from past relationships?
  • What lesson did you learn that you wish you would have learnt early?
  • What are you too hard on yourself for?
  • How do you deal with stress? 
  • What's one thing you probably should do that you never do?
  • What is the best thing your parents thought you?
  • What makes you different from most people?
  • Who is the most toxic person you know?
  • What animal do you think you are?
  • Where do you see yourself in five years?
  • Do you want to have children?
  • How long was your longest relationship?Why did it end?
  • Have you ever been engaged or married? 
  • Do you ever want to get married? 
  • Are you monogamous?
  • Have you ever lived with a partner?
  • How important is religion or spirituality to you?
  • What is your sexual orientation?
  • How do you feel about gay rights?
  • Do you think money can buy happiness?
  • What is your dream job?
  • What one thing do you want to accomplish in your life?
  • What accomplishment are you most proud of?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • How would you describe your relationship with your family?
  • Do you have a best friend? 
  • What qualities attracted you to your best friend?
  • What is your love language?
  • Are you an introvert (those who recharge by being alone) or an extrovert (those who feel energized from being around other people)?
  • Do you hold grudges?
  • Have you ever struggled with addiction?
  • Have you ever been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship?
  • Do you think a relationship can come back from cheating?
  • What is your deal breaker in relationships?
  • Who was your role model growing up?
  • When you were a kid, what career did you want to have?
  • In your life when have you most felt alone?
  • What is your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon?
  • What is your favorite holiday?
  • What is the best present you've ever received?
  • What did you and your friends do for fun in middle school?
  • Did you have any pets growing up?
  • What is your happiest childhood memory?
  • If you could cook any dish perfectly, what would you choose?
  • When you're having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
  • What toy did you always want as a kid, but no one ever bought for you?
  • Did you ever sleep with stuffed animals?
  • What sound do you love?
  • What are your favorite scents?
  • What candy do you hate?
  • What is your favorite karaoke song?
  • What was your favorite thing to do when you are free?
  • What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
  • Whats your worst memory of being in school,work and life in general?
  • What is your happiest childhood memory?
  • When you're having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
  • What is the weirdest reason you ever broke up with someone?
  • When was the time you laughed the hardest?
  • When is the last time you cried?
  • If you could listen to only one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?
  • What celebrities have you met?
  • What word do you hate?
  • What is your pop culture guilty pleasure?
  • What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?
  • What is the weirdest thing you've ever bought?
  • Who would you rather hire: a personal trainer, a personal chef, or a housekeeper?
  • What would you do if you could be a woman/man for a day?
  • What is the one movie you've seen more times than you can count?
  • If a movie was being made about your life, what actor would play you? What actress would play your love interest?
  • What were you like in high school?
  • What fictional character do you relate to the most?
  • Would you rather be hot or cold?
  • If you could be born in a different decade, what decade would you choose?
  • What is your favorite part about being an adult?
  • In an ideal world, how many times would you have sex in a week?
  • What is something you've always wanted to try in bed?
  • Have you ever had/would you ever have a threesome?
  • Have you ever been attracted to a person of the same sex?
  • How did you lose your virginity?
  • What is your number one sexual fantasy? Would you ever do it in real life?
  • Where is your favorite place to have sex outside of the bedroom?
  • Have you ever been walked in on during sex? Have you ever walked in on someone else?
  • What is the craziest thing you've ever been asked to do in bed? Did you do it?
  • How do you feel about porn? What kind of porn do you like?
  • What is your favorite sexual position? 
  • What is your least favorite sexual position?
  • What are your most sensitive erogenous zones that don't always get attention? (Nipples, ears, neck, etc.)
  • What is your favorite part about sex? (Foreplay, teasing, penetration, oral sex, pillow talk, etc.)
  • If we were going to role play, who would you want me to dress up as?
  • What sex toy have you been dying to try?
  • What words or sexy phrases turn you on?
  • What is the weirdest thing that turns you on?
  • What would you change about your childhood? 
  • What would you never change about your childhood?
  • Have you ever gotten anyone pregnant? How did you handle it?
  • What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
  • What five toxic traits do you have?
  • Have you ever cheated on anyone? 
  • Haveyou ever been cheated on?
  • What is your biggest regret?
  • Who are you jealous of?
  • What is the biggest misconception people have about you?
  • Have you ever spent the night in jail?
  • Have you ever been to therapy?
  • Have you ever had to break up with a friend?
  • Are you friends with any of your exes?
  • What bad habit do you have that you would you like to break?
  • Have you ever snooped on a partner?
  • When was the last time you cried?
  • Have you ever had your heart broken?
  • What was the most difficult time in your life?
  • Is it ever okay to lie?
  • What do you like most about yourself?
  • What is the biggest risk you've ever taken?
  • What is the hardest decision you've ever made?
  • What is more important in a relationship: an emotional connection or a physical connection?
  • Out of your friends and family, whose relationship do you admire the most?
  • What is the most important quality you look for in a partner?
  • What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  • What do you love about me?
  • What worries you about me?
  • What is the sexiest thing a partner can wear?
  • What is your ideal date?
  • What couples Halloween costume have you always wanted to do?
  • Would you move to a new city for your partner?
  • Do you keep mementos from past relationships? (Cards, notes, photos, gifts)
  • What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever done to impress someone?
  • Do you prefer privacy or are you an open book?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • What is your favorite part about dating?
  • Do you believe in fate?
  • What is the biggest sacrifice you've ever made for a relationship?
  • What is your favorite love song?
  • Do you us getting married?

LIKE ,SHARE ,FOLLOW AND HAPPY VALENTINE'S

Saturday, January 23, 2021

UNTOLD LIVES OF WOMEN KENYA PODCAST

THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR UNTOLD LIVES OF WOMEN IS A PODCAST 
Hit the link below to check out my first podcast series 10 stories in 10 days . 
Available for streaming on all the above platforms.
Don't forget to Follow ,Like and share it with anyone you feel can benefit from it. 
#untoldlivesofwomenkenyapodcast #podcastkenya #kenyanpodcast #podcastlife #podcaster

Saturday, January 9, 2021

IT IS THROUGH MY DAUGHTERS EYES THAT I LEARNT WHAT LOVE IS.

CHILDREN HAVE A WAY OF MAKING ADULTS LEARN THE THINGS THEY MISSED ALONG THE WAY
I call her my little queen.
She may be little for now but I know I am raising a queen and I want her to know it from an early age and never forget it.I named her after a flower which ironically is the only flower i can draw and have always drawn .Im not too good at drawing maybe thats why i write so much because i can describe  how i feel better than i can draw.

She is a true flower she blossoms and lights up a room and even in the hardest of times ,she still blooms. Just like the flower I named her after.

MOTHER
To be the person with the sweetest name. 
A name that carries the most sacrifice.
Motherhood is a beautiful journey.
A journey your never truly ready for nomatter how prepared you think you are.
Filled with many twists and turns but what remains is the special bond you form with your child. 
From the moment you feel them move in your tummy. The nine months you walk together where you know you are not alone.
You share your food ,your body, your emotions.

To when you hear their first cry. As the nurse gives them to you and you hold them for the first time in your arms .
Those precious moments and the emotional rollercoaster involved from fear, to pain, to joy and everything in-between .It binds you to them for eternity.

You find your strength in them,You learn how strong you truly are.
Looking into their beautiful eyes and wonder how it is possible to create such beauty and innocence.
How beautifully they fit in your arms and how peaceful they look and it is through that peace that you learn patience and perseverance.
You also finally get to see ,feel and understand exactly what love is.

The pain ,the scars ,the sleepless nights when they fall ill, the constant pressure to be better.the bills
Sometimes overwhelm and make us doubt the process and the journey .
However, on those days ride out the wave for as long as it takes. But don't allow it to burry you alive.
Know that it is all worth it because, you get to give someone else a chance at life . 
It's hard because you have to keep delivering but isn't that the best challenge . 
Nothing worth while ever came easy.
You have to put up with the rain to see the rainbow.


Tuesday, November 24, 2020

#ENDVICTIMSHAMING NO IS NO CONSENT IS KEY.

DONT BE ASHAMED TO SPEAK YOUR TRUTH IRREGARDLESS OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY.
Victim-blaming is the attitude which suggests that the victim rather than the perpetrator bears responsibility for the assault. 

Victim-blaming occurs when it is assumed that an individual did something to provoke the violence by actions, words, or dress. 
Many people would rather believe that someone caused their own misfortune because it makes the world seem a safer place, but victim-blaming is a major reason that survivors of sexual and domestic violence do not report their assaults. While some suffer from depression and even become suicidal.

We tend to attribute other people’s behaviors to internal, personal characteristics while ignoring external forces and variables that also might have played a role.
When we look at an event that happened in the past, we have a tendency to believe that we should have been able to see the signs and predict the outcome.

This hindsight makes it seem like the victims of a crime, accident, or another form of misfortune should have been able to predict and prevent whatever problem might have befallen them.

This line of reasoning completely triggers me . Why? Why is it ok to be raped because of what you wear,what you said,how you acted ,how you sat or even what colour your inner garments are!

How have we gotten to a point where find it normal to assume something bad will always happen. That we should be ready to fight our way out of a situation and if we fail to it's still our fault.

We excuse abusers behaviours more often than we support the victim. The person that will be left with those scars for life. The person that will have to re-live that nightmare, that encounter  over and over until they heal. While the abuser walks away with a slap on the wrist and the probability of them doing it again doubling with each time they get away with it.

Whether or not the survivors story makes sense to you. You should always see the weight of the situation and see, how hard it is to even speak up to begin with.
What joy does a person get from making a claim as serious as rape or abuse ?

Dear survivor,
I want you to know. Although you have lost a part of you. Know that it is not all of you.
Speak up and don't be affair to speak your truth.
Free yourself and don't let them silence you .Don't let them sentence you to the prison of your mind and soul.
Don't let them take any more than they already have. You are loved.
You are worthy.
The abuse/assault you went through. is not your fault.
See my previous post on abusive relationships , rape , gender based violence

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION


Coming across a story on the news about 5 girls being arrested after undergoing female genital mutilation today. Showed me how detached we are from the issue that is female genital mutilation and how deep it runs..

Let me give you a quick story," A couple of years ago i witnessed a bunch of  girls sitting combing each others hair under a tree . On a scorching hot , saturday afternoon. I remember the details so clearly because what I heard shook me to my core.
These girls where from a region that still practices FGM.

They where discussing female circumcision and one of the older girls was describing what happens . She was talking about it bold and proudly.. she said, "I am a woman now. I am clean and will get a husband soon."
The smile on her face and the look in her eyes giving two very contradicting stories.
The girls around her sat in awe .That's when I noticed a much older from the group started crying, saying,"  I haven't been circumcised, my parents have refused for me to go through it. (One of the blessings of coming from Nairobi is that some parents have turned down the custom) She had tears in her eyes. She felt like it was irrational and wrong of them to want to deny her womanhood. She felt betrayed. She wanted to be like her peers.
Not knowing that her parents loved her enough to say No.


What does this have in common with the story on the news is simple. 
When you have been brought up knowing 1+1  equals two 1's. It's hard for someone to come along and tell you you where wrong all along that 1+1 is actually 2.

How do we expect young girls who are brought up in these practices to see it as wrong?

How can a girl who is seen as weak stand up and say No? 

How can a practice that is considered crucial end yet we are surrounded with ignorant ,self serving ,money minded police? 

How does arresting a girl who has gone through the cut stop it from happening ?
Fear of arrest? No when something is deeply rooted within you it is impossible to have it stopped.

I feel like you have to go directly to those that still preach its importance.


TYPES OF DEPRESSION & SYMPTOMS #mentalhealth

WHEN WE DONT HEAL FROM OUR SCARS THEY END UP INFECTING US AND WE PROJECT THE PAIN TO THOSE AROUND US.

Happier new month.

We have all had a difficult time this year,and looking at some of your emails and questions . Made me realise how important it is to share more about the types of depression.

You might be wondering why you have changed so much. Why you are withdrawn , constantly sad and your just wondering what's going on with you both physically and emotionally. 

Depression affects everyone differently, and you might only have some of these symptoms. You may also have other symptoms that aren’t listed here. Keep in mind that it’s also normal to have some of these symptoms from time to time without having depression.

But if they start to impact your day-to-day life, they may be the result of depression.

So here are some of the common symptoms of depression:

  • deep feelings of sadness
  • dark moods
  • feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
  • appetite changes
  • sleep changes
  • lack of energy
  • inability to concentrate
  • difficulty getting through your normal activities
  • lack of interest in things you used to enjoy
  • withdrawing from friends
  • preoccupation with death or thoughts of self-harm

There are many types of depression. While they share some common symptoms, they also have some key differences.

Here’s a look at nine types of depression

Major depression

Major depression is also known as​ major depressive disorder, classic depression, or unipolar depression. 

People with major depression experience symptoms most of the day, every day. Like many mental health conditions, it has little to do with what’s happening around you. You can have a loving family, tons of friends, and a dream job. You can have the kind of life that others envy and still have depression.

Even if there’s no obvious reason for your depression, that doesn’t mean it’s not real or that you can simply tough it out.

It’s a severe form of depression that causes symptoms such as:

  • despondency, gloom, or grief
  • difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
  • lack of energy and fatigue
  • loss of appetite or overeating
  • unexplained aches and pains
  • loss of interest in formerly pleasurable activities
  • lack of concentration, memory problems, and inability to make decisions
  • feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
  • constant worry and anxiety
  • thoughts of death, self-harm, or suicide

These symptoms can last weeks or even months. Some people might have a single episode of major depression, while others experience it throughout their life. Regardless of how long its symptoms last, major depression can cause problems in your relationships and daily activities.

 Persistent depression

Persistent depressive disorder​ is depression that lasts for two years or more. It’s also called dysthymia or chronic depression. Persistent depression might not feel as intense as major depression, but it can still strain relationships and make daily tasks difficult.

Some symptoms of persistent depression include:

  • deep sadness or hopelessness
  • low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy
  • lack of interest in things you once enjoyed
  • appetite changes
  • changes to sleep patterns or low energy
  • concentration and memory problems
  • difficulty functioning at school or work
  • inability to feel joy, even at happy occasions
  • social withdrawal

Though it’s a long-term type of depression, the severity of symptoms can become less intense for months at a time before worsening again. Some people also have episodes of major depression before or while they have persistent depressive disorder. This is called double depression.

Persistent depression lasts for years at a time, so people with this type of depression may start to feel like their symptoms are just part of their normal outlook on life.

Manic depression, or bipolar disorder

Manic depression consists of periods of mania or hypomania, where you feel very happy, alternating with episodes of depression. Manic depression is an outdated name for​ bipolar disorder.

In order to be diagnosed with bipolar I disorder, you have to experience an episode of​ mania​ that lasts for seven days, or less if hospitalization is required. You may experience a depressive episode before or following the manic episode.

Depressive episodes have the same symptoms as major depression, including:

  • feelings of sadness or emptiness
  • lack of energy
  • fatigue
  • sleep problems
  • trouble concentrating
  • decreased activity
  • loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
  • suicidal thoughts
  • Signs of a manic phase include:
  • high energy
  • reduced sleep
  • irritability
  • racing thoughts and speech
  • grandiose thinking
  • increased self-esteem and confidence
  • unusual, risky, and self-destructive behavior
  • feeling elated, “high,” or euphoric

In severe cases, episodes can include hallucinations and delusions. Hypomania is a less severe form of mania. You can also have mixed episodes in which you have symptoms of g mania and depression.

Depressive psychosis

Some people with major depression also go through periods of losing touch with reality. This is known as​ psychosis, which can involve hallucinations and delusions. Experiencing both of these together is known clinically as major depressive disorder with psychotic features. However, some providers still refer to this phenomenon as​ depressive psychosis​ or psychotic depression.

Hallucinations are when you see, hear, smell, taste, or feel things that aren’t really there. An example of this would be hearing voices or seeing people who aren’t present. A delusion is a closely held belief that’s clearly false or doesn’t make sense. But to someone experiencing psychosis, all of these things are very real and true.

Depression with psychosis can cause physical symptoms as well, including problems sitting still or slowed physical movements.


Perinatal depression

Perinatal depression, which is clinically known as major depressive disorder with peripartum onset, occurs during pregnancy or within four weeks of childbirth. It’s often called postpartum depression. But that term only applies to depression after giving birth. Perinatal depression can occur while you’re pregnant.

Hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy and childbirth can trigger changes in the brain that lead to mood swings. The lack of sleep and physical discomfort that often accompanies pregnancy and having a newborn doesn’t help, either.

Symptoms of perinatal depression can be as severe as those of major depression and include:

  • sadness
  • anxiety
  • anger or rage
  • exhaustion
  • extreme worry about the baby‘s health and safety
  • difficulty caring for yourself or the new baby
  • thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby

Women who lack support or have had depression before are at increased risk of developing perinatal depression, but it can happen to anyone.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of​ premenstrual syndrome (PMS). While PMS symptoms can be both physical and psychological, PMDD symptoms tend to be mostly psychological.

These psychological symptoms are more severe than those associated with PMS. For example, some women might feel more emotional in the days leading up to their period. But someone with PMDD might experience a level of depression and sadness that gets in the way of day-to-day functions.

Other possible symptoms of PMDD include:

  • cramps, bloating, and breast tenderness
  • headaches
  • joint and muscle pain
  • sadness and despair
  • irritability and anger
  • extreme mood swings
  • food cravings or binge eating
  • panic attacks or anxiety
  • lack of energy
  • trouble focusing
  • sleep problems

Similarly to perinatal depression, PMDD is believed to be related to hormonal changes. Its symptoms often begin just after ovulation and start to ease up once you get your period.

Some women dismiss PMDD as just a bad case of PMS, but PMDD can become very severe and include thoughts of suicide.

 Seasonal depression

Seasonal depression, also called​ seasonal affective disorder​ and clinically known as major depressive disorder with seasonal pattern, is depression that’s related to certain seasons. For most people, it tends to happen during the winter months.

Symptoms often begin in the fall, as days start to get shorter, and continue through the winter. They include:

  • social withdrawal
  • increased need for sleep
  • weight gain
  • daily feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or unworthiness

Seasonal depression may get worse as the season progresses and can lead to suicidal thoughts. Once spring rolls around, symptoms tend to improve. This might be related to changes in your bodily rhythms in response to the increase in natural light.

Situational depression

Situational depression, clinically known as adjustment disorder with depressed mood, looks like major depression in many respects.

But it’s brought on by specific events or situations, such as:

  • the death of a loved one
  • a serious illness or other life-threatening event
  • going through divorce or child custody issues
  • being in emotionally or physically abusive relationships
  • being unemployed or facing serious financial difficulties
  • facing extensive legal troubles

Of course, it’s normal to feel sad and anxious during events like these — even to withdraw from others for a bit. But situational depression happens when these feelings start to feel out of proportion with the triggering event and interfere with your daily life.

Situational depression symptoms tend to start within three months of the initial event and can include:

  • frequent crying
  • sadness and hopelessness
  • anxiety
  • appetite changes
  • difficulty sleeping
  • aches and pains
  • lack of energy and fatigue
  • inability to concentrate
  • social withdrawal

Atypical depression

Atypical depression​ refers to depression that temporarily goes away in response to positive events. Your doctor might refer to it as major depressive disorder with atypical features.

Despite its name, atypical depression isn’t unusual or rare. It also doesn’t mean that it’s more or less serious than other types of depression.

Having atypical depression can be particularly challenging because you may not always “seem” depressed to others (or yourself). But it can also happen during an episode of major depression. It can occur with persistent depression as well.

Other symptoms of atypical depression can include:

  • increased appetite and weight gain
  • disordered eating
  • poor body image
  • sleeping much more than usual
  • insomnia
  • heaviness in your arms or legs that lasts an hour or more a day
  • feelings of rejection and sensitivity to criticism
  • assorted aches and pains

How do I know which type I have?

If you think you might have any type of depression, it’s important to follow up with a doctor. All depression types discussed in this article are treatable, though it might take some time to find the right treatment for you.

If you’ve had a previous bout of depression and think it may be happening again, see your psychiatrist or other mental health professional right away.

If you’ve never had depression before, start with your primary care physician. Some symptoms of depression can be related to an underlying physical condition that should be addressed.

Try to give your doctor as much information about your symptoms as you can. If possible, mention:

  • when you first noticed them
  • how they’ve affected your daily life
  • any other mental health conditions you have
  • any information about a history of mental illness in your family
  • all prescription and over-the-counter medications you take, including supplements and herbs

It might feel uncomfortable, but try to tell your doctor everything. This will help them give you a more accurate diagnosis and refer you to the right type of mental health professional


For more info visit https://www.healthline.com

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

YOUR LIFE HAS MEANING DONT GIVE UP JUST YET

NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS NEVER GIVE UP BECAUSE THATS WHEN A MIRACLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN
One thing that this pandemic has shown us is that at any moment your life can be changed forever and what you thought would last forever can be gone in a moment. So it's important that we cherish every moment and everyone we hold dear because nothing in this life is guaranteed.

Over the past few months we have all been vulnerable in one way or the other. My favorite lesson in all of this has been what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Alot of the times when we go through a tough patch it becomes harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel when everything around us seems to crumble.

So many lives have been shattered during this time and what has kept alot of us going has been the love and kindness of friends, family and even strangers. We have found comfort in the simple pleasures of life. The things we take so often for granted.

To an extent problems seem to strip us bare and leave us exposed to the unknown and that's a tough place to be without a doubt . However,not knowing what will happen tomorrow, leaves room for the emergence of faith . The possibility that irregardless of what is happening now will only last for a season and when that season is over. The grass will start to grow again.

That is why it's so important to never give up because if you look back at various points in your life where you thought you will never laugh again life surprised you and you find your happiness again. Don't give up yet because you are a unique individual and what you have to offer the rest of those around you is endless and can only come to pass if you keep going.

It's important to find the reason as to why you are still alive and why God still wants you to wake up and see another day.
Find inspiration in the little joys of life . The people around you and in all the things you hope to achieve.
Don't allow yourself to only see what is going wrong. Look around house and find your reason because that is what will give you strength to keep going . Life is short and unpredictable. 
With what you have make lemonade and make it taste like the best lemonade you have ever made because that is the only important job you have.

Live life truly with optimism. Find love and  laughter in the simple pleasures of life and learn from your stumbling blocks. 
Above all never stop dreaming and turn those dreams into a reality because it is possible.






Thursday, July 30, 2020

LESSONS LEARNT AND SHARED

YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO FACE IT ALL. EVEN IF IT DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT NOW.

We all go through ups and downs in life and the greatest gift we can give is to share those lessons with someone else

Take a deep breath and pause it's never that serious.when everything seems to be going wrong, and it makes you feel like you can't go on. Allow yourself time to process things . It's a teachable moment and one day you will be telling the story of how you made it through.


It might not happen now but it will happen at the right time.sometimes we want something so bad and most of the time it won't happen when you want. Things happen when it's supposed to happen & when it does happy it will make sense why the wait was worth it.

It's better to try and fail than regret not starting. Procrastination and fear have robbed many of success.

If you have doubts it's because you have been given a reason to doubt.

Not all friendships are good friendships.Some want to watch you fail. Some want to use you. Some are full of envy. Some will be the reason for your downfall

Choose to be around people who help improve your life. Not friends who are comfortable with things as they are. If you surround yourself with people who are constantly aiming to improve their lives they will encourage you to do the same. If you surround yourself with bummers you will just bum .lol


You can fall in love over and over again . One heart break is not the end. It may feel like it but just know that love has different levels and you can only experience them if you keep at it. Remember your true love ,your first love and your soul mate are almost never the same person.

Fear is what hinders your success.

Charity begins at home. Before you can impact the world you have to first impact the lives of those around you.

Love heals .sometimes all the scars you have can be healed when you find the right person who will walk with you side by side with you until you overcome them

Show those you love you care while you still can. Life is short  Don't let those you love go to their graves not knowing how much they ment to you. It will haunt you long after they are gone.

Trust in God and don't doubt him. He is good.he is faithful he loves you, he is always with you, he knows you and he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Pray often. Staying close to God is food for the soul ,mind and body.

Do your best and you will walk away with no regrets. Nobody who ever did their best has ever had regrets.

Save your money and have multiple streams of income. So that you don't drown in debt when your salary stops coming in

You don't need money to make money.  That's just a lie to keep you poor.

Motherhood is  hard be kind to your mother.They will never tell you how hard it is .How much you will sacrifice . It's a journey of it's own kind it can be very rewarding and very draining it is ok to be imperfect .it's ok to struggle on some days . We are not gods we are humans that carry other humans.

Never doubt your instincts.

Be kind to people you never know what they are going through. Alot of us know how to put on a very convincing happy face even through the worst of times. Be kind your kindness might be the reason someone doesn't give up.

Give without expectations. Nobody can live upto your expectations . Expecting too much can give you sleepless nights for nothing.

That which you judge you become.

Get out of your comfort zone. Whatever gives you comfort can also be the reason for your downfall . Everything in moderation.

Enjoy your youth and never be in a hurry to grow up. It comes with its own problems.

Don't give up easily.Nothing great comes without difficulty. Persistence does pay keep at it.

Fight for what is yours. But also be wise enough to know when you are fighting in vain.

Never loose your financial independence after marriage or in a relationship.It may sound like a good idea to have someone take care of you. But later that turns to resentment and can be the reason you are forced to stay in a bad situation

Sacrifice early and work hard so when your old you can rest.


Don't be a snitch. Know when to open your mouth and when to stay quiet. Sometimes it's better to let them find out on their own

That void you can't seem to fill . That emptiness that led to addiction can only be filled with Jesus.

Never be rude to someone you think of is beneath you one day they will surpass you and you will need them.

Pride comes before a fall.

Family is the most important gift you will ever receive.

Never let yourself believe the negative things your abusive partner says about you. And don't stay out of fear.

When someone shows you their true colours don't doubt them. Our brain gives us reasons as to why they can't be that bad or that maybe it was because of the situation.The fact is they are showing you who they are.

Learning never stops. Even in old age.

Live life to the fullest. Love with all your heart . Learn and then take a moment to Laugh even when it hurts and above all never stop dreaming.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2020

CREATE ONE INCREDIBLE MEMORY FOR YOURSELF AND OR SOMEBODY ELSE

A MOMENT LASTS FOR A SECOND, BUT THE MEMORY LIVES ON FOREVER

Life brings tears, smiles, and memories. All of which we carry with us for eternity.
Sometimes it even feels like a figment of imagination .

However the only thing that makes it magical.Is when you share a special moment with someone else and that memory becomes something you both share for eternity.

During these tough times across the world. It is important to show compassion to those we know and to those we encounter along the way. 
It doesn't have to be a grand gesture it can be as simple as a smile. 
All you have to do is show them you see them /see their struggle and show them that you care for them.

Live, Laugh ,Love ,Learn and Lend a  helping hand to someone who needs it the most.
Happy New Month.....

Saturday, May 30, 2020

I CANT BREATH !!!


BLACK POWER IS GIVING THE POWER BACK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT HAD POWER OVER THEIR OWN LIVES .

We have all been guilty at one point or the other of , ignoring or silencing that voice in our head that said, "speak up" or "help that person "or that voice that said, "that is not right stop it from happening".

Maybe it was out of fear ,maybe we where too preoccupied with our own problems or in other cases , maybe we chose to mind our own business.

Well now more than ever we are all aware of it. We have seen what keeping quiet ,doing nothing, avoiding confrontation results in . 
It is a hard pill to swallow when you actually see how people with African decent / people of colour are treated.

Even here in our own country and continent . We see how the government and our own police forces treat us. Like the case of one Samuel Maina who was brutally  beaten by police and when he went to report the matter at the police station nothing was done. If we as Africans truly knew the greatness we come from we would not treat eachother the way we do. 

It is even harder to believe that so many people have been conditioned to think that black people are the problem.
That black people are not human.
To think that it is a norm that so many peoples lives suffer because of the colour of their skin is heart breaking and gut wrenching.

I have always believed that you should always treat people the way you want to be treated or even better. However at a time where our compliance has been taken for granted our silence has been taken for weakness it's just too much to bare.

My heart aches for the memory of George Floyd and all the countless number of people who have suffered because, they where taught that human rights where not written for anyone with African descent but only those of pale/ lighter skin.

I see the pain in all our eyes. The pain in all those protesters who are asking,
"How long will this go on?"
"Why do they hate us so much?"
The frustration as of not getting justice. The frustration that so many black lives get ruined because of racism but nothing is being done.
Do you really blame them for saying enough is enough!

The spirit within us is strong and over the years whatever they have done to us hasn't broken us. Right from the beginning of slavery, colonialism where theys stole our land , abused us , sold us tortured us, locked us up and dehumanized us .

They think we are inhuman because we can survive and have survived and continue to survive despite all they put us through and that is what threatens them. The fact that we continue fighting . The fact that we continue to rise .
They see the power within us and they know that's something they will never have.
#blackpower
#blacklivesmatter
#blackexcellence
#african