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INTRO

Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Monday, October 18, 2021

HELPING YOUR CHILD UNDERSTAND PARENTAL SEPERATION/ DIVORCE OR SEPERATE LIVING CONDITIONS

BEING A PARENT CAN BE TOUGH. THERE IS NO MANUAL SO AS LONG AS YOU ARE DOING YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST THATS ALL YOU CAN DO...



You don't love me!
I don't want to live with you!
Your not nice to me!
I want mom /dad!
Words that every parent will hear at least once. Doesn't mean that it gets easier it just means there is room for things to get better.


Separation or divorce! Can be icky. Those words just carry such negativity and can make anyone cringe.
I  always thought that I would have a perfect family and that would never happen to me. I witnessed it as an adolescent and  for those reasons never wanted it for myself . I guess nobody does and for those reasons when it happens it makes it even harder. 

Meaning there is more reason for things to workout so that you can put your kids first.
I'm saying this not because there is a majic solution that can make everything better . If you are just starting out it's most probably things will get worse before they get better. But the fact that you are reading this means you want the best for your child and that means half of the work has been done.

Kids are smarter than we think. They have watched and felt our reactions since they were in our stomach. So trust me when I say they can read you like a book.So don't lie to them or manipulate them otherwise they will end up hating you for it.

That being said let's get into it as I share with you what I have learnt. 
FOR YOU
1.Accept that it is over.
2. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of what you thought was permanent.
3. Learn to separate your pain ,anger, frustration and jealousy from situations.
4. Have an honest conversation about the way forward and responsibilities 
5.Have a legally binding agreement .document.
6.  Respect eachother .
.
FOR THE KIDS
1.Reassure them that you will always be there for them and remind them daily or even hourly that they are loved 
2.Allow your child to express how they feel 
3.Don't force them to pick a side or guilt them into feeling sorry for you.
4.Don't use your kids as pawns or as messengers.
5. Be honest with them but gently.
6. Listen to them genuinely.
7. Allow them to act out don't address things in the heat of the moment wait till they are back to normal.

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