INSECURITIES. (How to deal with insecurities)

SOMETIMES OUR THOUGHTS ARE BACKED BY SO MUCH INSECURITY THAT THEY CREATE LIES WE BELIEVE.

The core cause of insecurities is often a lack of self-love. If a person holds on to harmful limiting beliefs, like being afraid of failure or thinking that they don't deserve love, they won't be able to trust completely  and trust is the foundation of any relationship..

Our minds sometimes do more damage than good. We can be so stuck in the past. Stuck in what we don't want to happen, Stuck in the fear of what will happen that we talk ourselves into believing that nothing good ever happens that we orchestrate our own downfall and what we fear the most happens.

Sometimes we come up with valid points and our intuition is right . However alot of the times we give into the voices that say we deserve what we are going through. Thoughts of our worst fears coming true that we project them on other people. Thoughts of inadequacy. Thoughts of unworthiness.

We can be out harshest critics and alot of the times we dig ourselves into a hole. Sometimes we isolate ourselves to the point that we are all alone based on what we allow our thoughts convince us.

Whenever you have a thought that negates you. Stop it before it causes more damage .Learn to love yourself and know your worth, Believe in yourself. Learn to heal those scars ,those past wounds and allow yourself to be present in the moment. 

Self love is the best kind of love. Look yourself in the mirror and fall in love with your imperfections, fall in love with what you represent what you are ,what you are not, Fall in love with the parts of you you dont like and heal the inner child within by showing her or him some love.

THE FILTERS WE PUT ON IN LIFE

WE PUT ON FILTERS IN LIFE AS A RESULT OF OUR PAST EXPERIENCES NOT KNOWING THAT THOSE FILTERS INHIBIT US FROM LIVING LIFEIN FULL COLOUR

Life is a series of continuous lessons. Some of those lessons bring us to our knees and almost cripple us. Others we learn from people around us. What you cannot do is stop the process once it begins to unfold.

Look at it this way . When you where younger everything excited you . You where open to endless possibilities and open to the adventure of finding out where the road takes you. As you get older you learn lessons that make you smarter and you begin to evaluate everything sometimes too much that you talk yourself out of an adventure or opportunity because you don't want something to disappoint you, or even go wrong like it did previously. 

That shell we create around us as a protective layer sometimes is the very thing that hinders you from doing what you are supposed to do or hinders you from achieving what you where hoping to achieve. In that way you end up standing in your own way .A quote that keeps me on my toes says," That which we fear we become and that which we judge we become".

Look back in your own life and see areas where you stopped your own blessings  out of fear and evaluate whether or not you want to continue down that road.

Don't let what is happening on the outside  harden your heart. Life is an experience live it  ,learn what you can ,laugh and heal from what you can't change and never stop dreaming. 

PRAY

PRAYING IS RELEASING YOUR SPIRIT TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CREATOR SO DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK OUT LOUD

The holy month of Ramadan on the Muslim calender is here and i remember as a kid how amazing and hard I thought it was but the determination the dedication and the passion I watched  growing up from both family and friends made it even more beautiful. To fast and pray the whole day and then break your fast with your loved ones with good food laughter brings up many memories for me.

You know we then grow up see what life is. Have our own arguments with God as to why some prayers aren't answered or for some people who go through turmoil in life and try praying and become convinced that God doesn't listen or love them and even decide to switch religions or drop religion and God all together.

One thing I've come to understand about faith as I grow older is .sometimes you will not get what you want . Sometimes you will want to give up , sometimes you question everything. However the thing is the person who created you and put you on this earth irregardless of religion or how much you feel neglected by him . He doesn't change he remains and will remain long after you are gone. He even knew at one point you would feel as you do. 

Whether or not you believe it or not you where created and everyone is here for a purpose just as the eco system balances out with every species in it and if one stops existing the balance is lost.

Someone once told me everyone's existence /destiny is intertwined with someone else's and even though your existence may feel insignificant doesn't mean the space you occupy doesn't hold value to someone else So it all boils down to the kind of relationship you have with with your creator whether or not it feels like he is listening to you or not.

Take sometime close your eyes and just speak to him like a friend that just wants to hear from you . Eventually he will show you he heard you. 

If not what harm does it do to speak to your creator atleast he won't tell anyone your secrets.

Live ,laugh,love,learn and never stop praying because you could be one prayer away from your miracle . He said seek and you will find . Knock and the door will be opened . Maybe not at your timing but know he doesn't break his promises.

THE HARDEST LESSON YOU WILL EVER LEARN IN THIS LIFE IS THAT YOU ARE ALONE

LONELINESS DOESNT COME FROM HAVING NOBODY AROUND. IT COMES FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE THE THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER

You know one of those days where every thing that could go wrong just goes wrong.

That by the time it gets to the end of the day you just get into bed and feel completely drained. You wonder what's the point of life! Endless torture!  a game where you loose more than you win...

As you go through the waves and the voice in your head just keeps pounding you with even more negatively. You cry out for help but nobody can truly understand what your going through.

You want to scream that your drowning but you can't. Or even when you choose to ask for help you realise there's only so much anyone can do for you because everyone is fighting their own battles.

Or even when you are constantly there for people but no body resceprocates it back to you or in some cases people see you as a place of release .where they dump their pain all on you find peace and leave the weight on your shoulders.

It becomes clear that although we have friends who care ,family who love us and even careers that satisfy our needs and wants. You still can't help but still alone!

In those moments you wonder what life really is supposed to be about because everything you thought it was supposed to be really isn't what it's playing out to be and you wonder how can you deal with it.

I read a quote that said ,"The quicker you accept things as they are the sooner you will discover peace."

It resonates with me because I finally understood what it meant. Denial means resistance and just as the word suggest you are fighting /resisting what is occuring naturally. You got to exactly where you are based on the choices you have made. Both willingly and unwillingly.  

Your situation will not change because you don't agree with it . It will only change when you make the changes necessary . 

Before you can do that you have to sit in silence with yourself Listen to all the thoughts racing in your stillness and then silence the voices that bring you sadness, the voices that cause the resistance. Remove the fear and do what is natural without resistance.

That's why after a good cry you find peace because you have released and are no longer in resistance . You have accepted.

Live, love, laugh ,learn and never stop dreaming because dreams do come true. Ask anyone that refused to give up

KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET

You ever just sit down and ask yourself if we got this life thing all mixed up. There are days we feel like we are on track achieving goals ,making money, working hard,staying out of trouble. And then there are days we think to ourselves is this all life is supposed to be.

I remember a story I was told about death . 

A man dies and goes up to find neither heaven nor hell. Just a place with souls walking around with no freedom. 

When he looked back down on earth he finally understood that he was given a chance to be free to be who he wanted to be,to explore ,to love ,to live and to learn and all he did was do what was expected like a slave of the system. He had wasted his one shot.

It resonated with me deeply so I thought I would share and ask you. What aspects of your current life do you feel you would regret of you where looking down on yourself and why aren't you doing anything to ensure you don't waste this one shot at life.. . . . . 

LIFE IS THE DANCER AND YOU ARE THE DANCE

Growing older has made me alot calmer because I've learnt that life has a way of reminding you that some things are out of your own control. 

You can't fight it.

 You just have to find a way of allowing life to do what it needs to do . Because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser.

The same way when you are sitting still in meditation taking a deep breath in and out aware of your surroundings present in the moment and just taking in everything in and releasing everything that causes you stress,discomfort, unhappiness,tension is the same way you have to take on life .

Whatever was destined to happen will happen . The best you can do is give yourself a fighting chance by learning from your failures and those that have come before you. By being patient. By learning and being open to new possibilities and by dreaming because without our dreams . We would have no motivation to keep going or get things done.

So when you get to a point where you feel as though you don't want to keep going or feel overwhelmed and drained or just unhappy take a moment. Pause take a deep breath in feel life flow through you. All around you and realise that whatever it is going on there is more to life and it is just a small fraction of it

Live ,Love,Learn,Laugh, Breaty and never stop dreaming.

200 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR PARTNER VALENTINES EDITION

Jumping into a new relationship can be exciting and sometimes we forget to ask important questions that can help us lean more about eachother. As well us clarify a few things.

So I've complied a bunch of questions that are both fun,steamy, and some that will make you have to dig deep within yourself . So have fun have some to add hit the comment section.

• What  are your full names?
• How old are you?
• What is your favourite colour?
• What is on your bucket list?
• What is the most adventurous thing you have done?
• Do you have health or mental health issues?
• Are you close with your family?
• What do you think you are ready to be in a relationship?
• What makes you feel like this relationship between us is what you need?
• What is your favourite part of my personality?
• What makes you happy/sad in relationships?
• What is the biggest lesson you have learnt from past relationships?
• What lesson did you learn that you wish you would have learnt early?
• What are you too hard on yourself for?
• How do you deal with stress? 
• What's one thing you probably should do that you never do?
• What is the best thing your parents thought you?
• What makes you different from most people?
• Who is the most toxic person you know?
• What animal do you think you are?
• Where do you see yourself in five years?
• Do you want to have children?
• How long was your longest relationship?Why did it end?
• Have you ever been engaged or married? 
• Do you ever want to get married? 
• Are you monogamous?
• Have you ever lived with a partner?
• How important is religion or spirituality to you?
• What is your sexual orientation?
• How do you feel about gay rights?
• Do you think money can buy happiness?
• What is your dream job?
• What one thing do you want to accomplish in your life?
• What accomplishment are you most proud of?
• What are you afraid of?
• How would you describe your relationship with your family?
• Do you have a best friend? 
• What qualities attracted you to your best friend?
• What is your love language?
• Are you an introvert (those who recharge by being alone) or an extrovert (those who feel energized from being around other people)?
• Do you hold grudges?
• Have you ever struggled with addiction?
• Have you ever been in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship?
• Do you think a relationship can come back from cheating?
• What is your deal breaker in relationships?
• Who was your role model growing up?
• When you were a kid, what career did you want to have?
• In your life when have you most felt alone?
• What is your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon?
• What is your favorite holiday?
• What is the best present you've ever received?
• What did you and your friends do for fun in middle school?
• Did you have any pets growing up?
• What is your happiest childhood memory?
• If you could cook any dish perfectly, what would you choose?
• When you're having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
• What toy did you always want as a kid, but no one ever bought for you?
• Did you ever sleep with stuffed animals?
• What sound do you love?
• What are your favorite scents?
• What candy do you hate?
• What is your favorite karaoke song?
• What was your favorite thing to do when you are free?
• What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
• Whats your worst memory of being in school,work and life in general?
• What is your happiest childhood memory?
• When you're having a bad day, what makes you feel better?
• What is the weirdest reason you ever broke up with someone?
• When was the time you laughed the hardest?
• When is the last time you cried?
• If you could listen to only one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?
• What celebrities have you met?
• What word do you hate?
• What is your pop culture guilty pleasure?
• What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?
• What is the weirdest thing you've ever bought?
• Who would you rather hire: a personal trainer, a personal chef, or a housekeeper?
• What would you do if you could be a woman/man for a day?
• What is the one movie you've seen more times than you can count?
• If a movie was being made about your life, what actor would play you? What actress would play your love interest?
• What were you like in high school?
• What fictional character do you relate to the most?
• Would you rather be hot or cold?
• If you could be born in a different decade, what decade would you choose?
• What is your favorite part about being an adult?
• In an ideal world, how many times would you have sex in a week?
• What is something you've always wanted to try in bed?
• Have you ever had/would you ever have a threesome?
• Have you ever been attracted to a person of the same sex?
• How did you lose your virginity?
• What is your number one sexual fantasy? Would you ever do it in real life?
• Where is your favorite place to have sex outside of the bedroom?
• Have you ever been walked in on during sex? Have you ever walked in on someone else?
• What is the craziest thing you've ever been asked to do in bed? Did you do it?
• How do you feel about porn? What kind of porn do you like?
• What is your favorite sexual position? 
• What is your least favorite sexual position?
• What are your most sensitive erogenous zones that don't always get attention? (Nipples, ears, neck, etc.)
• What is your favorite part about sex? (Foreplay, teasing, penetration, oral sex, pillow talk, etc.)
• If we were going to role play, who would you want me to dress up as?
• What sex toy have you been dying to try?
• What words or sexy phrases turn you on?
• What is the weirdest thing that turns you on?
• What would you change about your childhood? 
• What would you never change about your childhood?
• Have you ever gotten anyone pregnant? How did you handle it?
• What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
• What five toxic traits do you have?
• Have you ever cheated on anyone? 
• Haveyou ever been cheated on?
• What is your biggest regret?
• Who are you jealous of?
• What is the biggest misconception people have about you?
• Have you ever spent the night in jail?
• Have you ever been to therapy?
• Have you ever had to break up with a friend?
• Are you friends with any of your exes?
• What bad habit do you have that you would you like to break?
• Have you ever snooped on a partner?
• When was the last time you cried?
• Have you ever had your heart broken?
• What was the most difficult time in your life?
• Is it ever okay to lie?
• What do you like most about yourself?
• What is the biggest risk you've ever taken?
• What is the hardest decision you've ever made?
• What is more important in a relationship: an emotional connection or a physical connection?
• Out of your friends and family, whose relationship do you admire the most?
• What is the most important quality you look for in a partner?
• What is the first thing you noticed about me?
• What do you love about me?
• What worries you about me?
• What is the sexiest thing a partner can wear?
• What is your ideal date?
• What couples Halloween costume have you always wanted to do?
• Would you move to a new city for your partner?
• Do you keep mementos from past relationships? (Cards, notes, photos, gifts)
• What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever done to impress someone?
• Do you prefer privacy or are you an open book?
• Do you believe in love at first sight?
• What is your favorite part about dating?
• Do you believe in fate?
• What is the biggest sacrifice you've ever made for a relationship?
• What is your favorite love song?
• Do you us getting married?

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