NOT EVERY FAMILY IS A NUCLEAR FAMILY

EVERY FAMILY HAS A DIFFERENT STRUCTURE

 Statistics  from  pew research institute.
 Definition:Family unit 
in British. (ˈfæmlɪ ˈjuːnɪt) sociology. a social group "traditionally" consisting of parents and children. the traditional family unit of mother, father and two children

While helping my nephew with his homework, i noticed how very little focus has  been put into updating the lower primary education system.

What caught my attention is the emphasis on assuming that every child identifies with the basic family structure that is, Father ,Mother and Children.
The questions such us what is the work of the father in a home? What is the function of the mother in a home? and the correct answers , father to provide for the family and a mother cooks and cleans and takes care of the home.

Don't get me wrong that would be the most simplified answer.Traditionally that is what happened.  However living in the 21st century .Where fewer children are growing up with both parents and while some children are being raised by parents of the same sex. (Where the majority of Africans find it foreign and unacceptable to belong to the LGBTQ  community or even raise a child in that kind of environment)

Family life is changing. Two-parent households are on the decline as abandonment,divorce, remarriage and cohabitation are on the rise. And families are smaller now, both due to the growth of single-parent households. Family roles have changed and so has the role of mothers in the workplace and in the home. As more moms have entered the labor force, more have become breadwinners  in many cases,primary breadwinners in their families.

what is often deemed a “traditional” family has been largely supplanted by the rising shares of children living with single or cohabiting parents.

Children learn from what they see before they can distinguish from what you teach them .This creates a disconnect for children who are being brought up in these families.

The Kenyan curriculum should not work based on assumption or cling to traditional norms of what a family unit is.  A child shouldn't have to come home upset or question what a family is because it doesn't suit the norms. It should be inclusive of all children should be taught that their are different types of families and every family has different structures ad that it is fine .Not make them feel like their family is abnormal .

We tend to forget about children and we underestimate how much they can understand and as a result we scar them . Although a percentage of kids are being brought up in what is the traditional family unit, less than  46%  half are living with two parents who are both in their first marriage. This share is down from 61% in 1980 and 73% in 1960. An additional 15% of children are living with two parents, at least one of whom has been married before. This share has remained relatively stable for decades. In the remainder of two-parent families, the parents are cohabiting but are not married. Today 7% of children are living with cohabiting parents; however a far larger share will experience this kind of living arrangement at some point during their childhood.

Fully one-fourth (26%) of children younger than age 18 are now living with a single parent, up from just 9% in 1960 and 22% in 2000. The share of children living without either parent stands at 5%; most of these children are being raised by grandparents

For instance, estimates suggest that about 39% of children will have had a mother in a cohabiting relationship by the time they turn 12; and by the time they turn 16, almost half (46%) will have experience with their mother cohabiting. In some cases, this will happen because a never-married mother enters into a cohabiting relationship; in other cases, a mother may enter into a cohabiting relationship after a marital breakup.

A THOUGHT

WHEN THE PRICE OF LIVING YOUR DREAMS PAYS LESS

 BY MIHESO MISIKO

The most difficult age for any man should be between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something, to be someone is so immense. When you look around you everyone seems to be doing something for themselves, people seem to be living a life you only dream of. You have applied for jobs and the results have been disappointing.

Sadly this is the age when most guys lose it, the age when if not careful one is consumed by alcohol or drugs, because the disappointments become too much and you find alternative ways to face reality.

Worse is when a few people you studied with have been lucky enough to land jobs, soon your circle of friends gets thinner – mostly they don’t even cut you out but you be real with yourself and cut yourself off. I mean what you will do when you are in a WhatsApp group of friends discussing about last week’s trip in Zanzibar and planning another road trip to Kigali while you are not sure of what your next meal would be? 

Most times you follow the conversation silently, all alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep around the more the pressure to be something takes a toll on you. You know when stories about house parties come up and you act deaf because you don’t know where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone on the market or how British Airways offers shit services and you can feel your heart whisper to you “ boss this is chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that talks about boda boda “. But you sit there as these people are lost in their lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten.
Once in a while one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another drink and you wonder if you should just say No and head home, but head home to what? So you grudgingly drop in the “I will have just one last one “lie.

But after a few years of job hunting, you are now ready to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s farts as long as it pays , so you end up as an office messenger in one blue chip company in town. To imagine that 3 years of studying and getting a degree is now reduced to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not doing that , you are being sent for cheap lunch by the employees when they are broke and they can’t order with hello food. This is when conversations about where people schooled start, you go silent for it’s no longer of any use to say you also reached University, it doesn’t matter – you have resorted to surviving.

Once in while you will bump into your now well to do classmates they would offer you lunch, but not even eating the meals at caffesserie will make you feel better about yourself, because in your mind you wish instead they would give you the 30k and you sort your meals for the next 5 days. As it is the norm you will have photos taken, and uploaded on Facebook, but always it’s your face that would look odd one out – not even the best filters can hide a face which has borne the city dust and survives on boiled beans. 

The worst mistake you can do during this period is to try and date – there is nothing that a person going through such times can offer in terms of love. How are you going to do evening romantic walks when you are tired from walking delivering letters in offices around town? What are you going to tell your lady when she says she wants to go to Coasto for Easter? That your financial religion doesn’t allow it or what? This is the age when you sit back and watch as the ladies you would want to date are dating or getting married to guys 10 years older than you. And you can’t blame them – it’s only that your life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in life. 

Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and if by then your life is still in disarray like Liverpool’s performance in the EPL then my friend be prepared for a walk out.

But then this is the age when you learn a lot of about life, if you can hack through this stage of life the only hard moment in your life would be when you lose your parents- that’s if you are still lucky enough to have them. This stage teaches you a lot about perseverance, about appreciating the small wins you have each day, it teaches you something about friendship, love, career growth and personal responsibility .This is always your rise or fall moment depending on the choices you make. How you live your life in the 30’s is determined by how you handled your life in this phase

TO THE YOUNG MAN THAT WILL FIGHT FOR THEIR POLITICIAN

PART 2 OF 3 FEATURED ARTICLES BY SARAH WANYOIKE

Dear young man,

I have watched you grow and how you stat the tarmac roads that i once walked on bear feet. Mud knee high. 

Lately your attitude has changed. Your clothes too. Your two hundred knock off watch and jeans too tight. You have developed a hop in your step (false confidence). 

It is election time again, and the buyers of strong young men’s soul have been at it again.

You hang precariously on campaign on campaign buses oblivious of the danger, bang your fists on the cars obstructing the way of your musafara.

 Rules change during campaign season. You are now a law unto yourself. Nothing and no one matters. your man has your ear and you think that you are of value to them and feel the fake pride weight of it all wailing from your belly you will shout loud and arguing arrogantly while your accent betrays you.

You take what you what you feel is yours. After all you say “they stole what they have’. You assume no hard work, no sweat for you .You will walk around with glazed eyes then try to cover your face in dark glasses. Only to be let down with a thud. 

Don’t you value your own life? Do you think your efforts and bloodshed will be valued like the freedom fighters! Not at all your bodies will be picked up and taken to the mortuary where your loved ones will be left mourning as they try to pick up the pieces of their lives to move on. 

The elections will be over and the men and women who hired you will not call. They no longer need you. They don’t know you. Depression will set in and it will engulf you like a warm cap this cold July.

Young man life is for living. Not for getting it easy. You cannot be used and stay free to yourself.

Grow up! Live life with purpose. You are created in his image .You are answerable to him.  At the end of your life stand tall before your maker in truth. Having made your country a better place and having made a positive difference in people’s lives. 

LET PEACE PREVAIL IN OUR COUNTRY. 

Don’t be the cause of enmity and hatred.

No one is bigger or greater than the creator.

THINK!!!

DEAR POLITICIAN

PART 1 OF 3 FEATURED ARTICLE BY SARAH WANYOIKE

DEAR POLITICIAN

It is July and it is cold.

I guess you have not noticed in the heat of your political shenanigans. My shoes are worn out from walking to industrial area every morning and evening. My kid sister sells sweets on the streets and hopes to buy me a new pair if her sales are good this month.

Our one room is neat very few items in it. We cook ugali which has now become our delicacy at one corner. My cousin who came months ago looking for greener pastures in the capital is also with us in this aboard. The company he was working for has downsized a word that took us a good hour to explain to him (he thought that it meant he would have to be made small, his own words.)

You may wonder why I am telling you all this, Well I will be voting on the 8^th of 8^th and wait for the results, for my life to go back to normal. Of which I do not mind as long as my country is at peace.

Do not agitate for violence . MY LIFE MATTERS .My sister needs to sell her sweets .So she can finish her hair dressing course. so she can start her own salon .

My cousin needs to get a job so he can send money to educate his brothers and sisters back home.

Your words can burn this country while you ship your Family abroad and leave it burning.

Remember God knows all things, sees all things in the hearts and minds of all.

Kenya is bigger than you. I did not know what or where I was to be born the choice was not mine and you cannot use that against me. God knows what he does and “ Hana Makosa .”You are not the right person to correct him.

PEACE POLITICIAN PEACE

The reason pride lifts you up, is to let you down.

Even postage stamps become useless when stuck to themselves.

TODAY'S WOMAN.

WOMEN TODAY HAVE EVOLVED AND THOSE AROUND HER HAVE TO EVOLVE 

Today’s woman is informed. She doesn’t lurk in the shadows of mis-information. Being informed is what sets her apart and is what ,makes her a force to reckon with.

Today’s woman is strong. The strength she has lies within her and that ,makes whatever happens to her externally. A passing cloud because she will never let it break her.

Today’s woman knows her worth. She is of value to the society and those around her. Where people fall short. She will rise to the occasion. And will refuse to settle for less than she deserves.

Today’s woman wants to be happy. She no longer complies with standards set .She sets new standards.

Today’s woman is bold. She is not silent. She speaks out because she needs to be heard .She will not just live life based on traditional norms. She has evolved and everything around her, will have to evolve with her.

Today’s woman is determined to accomplish whatever she sets her mind to. Whatever comes in her way she will always find a way to overcome.

Today’s woman wants to look and feel good. She is self aware. She needs to stand out. She needs to make a statement in all she does because,” To get the part .You need to look to be the part”.

Today’s woman threatens the man .Not because she is independent , but because she is capable of doing things on her own .She doesn’t depend on him ,for most of the things she would traditionally depended on him for.

Today’s woman knows when she wants a family. She knows when she is ready and she knows the kind of person that would make it with her, and those that are just a waste of time. Unlike before when it was only up to the man.

Today’s woman is more aware of the world. She knows she has to fight for what she wants and what she hopes to achieve. Nothing is handed on a silver platter and that makes her hardened.

Today’s woman is hardened by all she has had to endure and all she has had to fight for. She knows that ,she has to depend on herself to ensure her own happiness

Today’s woman is patient ,when it comes to getting what she wants. She will scheme and look within herself to see what is important to her. Once she knows what it is. She sets her mind to it until her mission is accomplished.

Today’s woman is confident. She is relentless and doesn’t give up. Because giving up is the easy way out and nothing that comes easy ever lasts. She knows her strengths she knows what she has to offer she knows exactly what she wants.

Today’s woman is supportive of the women around her .She has feministic views .(Not the arrogant femmie-natzi ideologies)

The feministic views that aim to uplift and support . Not  those that  do the same as chauvinists (but in femininity) and that is not meant to threaten . It is meant to ensure that women are free to be whatever they want to be. That they live their lives to the fullest and that they are allowed to progress  and realize their potential

Don’t expect today’s woman to be passively silent . Don’t expect her to wait for things she can accomplish on her own. Don’t expect her to be agreeable when she knows it's not something she is not happy with. Don’t expect her to put up with things that she doesn’t have to . Don’t expect her to not know because her business is in knowing .