The most difficult age for any man should be between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something, to be someone is so immense. When you look around you everyone seems to be doing something for themselves, people seem to be living a life you only dream of. You have applied for jobs and the results have been disappointing.
Sadly this is the age when most guys lose it, the
age when if not careful one is consumed by alcohol or drugs, because the
disappointments become too much and you find alternative ways to face
reality.
Worse is when a few people you studied with have been
lucky enough to land jobs, soon your circle of friends gets thinner –
mostly they don’t even cut you out but you be real with yourself and cut
yourself off. I mean what you will do when you are in a WhatsApp group
of friends discussing about last week’s trip in Zanzibar and planning
another road trip to Kigali while you are not sure of what your next
meal would be?
Most times you follow the conversation silently, all alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep around the more the pressure to be something takes a toll on you. You know when stories about house parties come up and you act deaf because you don’t know where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone on the market or how British Airways offers shit services and you can feel your heart whisper to you “ boss this is chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that talks about boda boda “. But you sit there as these people are lost in their lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten.
Once in a while one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another drink and you wonder if you should just say No and head home, but head home to what? So you grudgingly drop in the “I will have just one last one “lie.
Most times you follow the conversation silently, all alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep around the more the pressure to be something takes a toll on you. You know when stories about house parties come up and you act deaf because you don’t know where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone on the market or how British Airways offers shit services and you can feel your heart whisper to you “ boss this is chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that talks about boda boda “. But you sit there as these people are lost in their lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten.
Once in a while one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another drink and you wonder if you should just say No and head home, but head home to what? So you grudgingly drop in the “I will have just one last one “lie.
But after a few years of job hunting, you are now
ready to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s farts as long as
it pays , so you end up as an office messenger in one blue chip company
in town. To imagine that 3 years of studying and getting a degree is
now reduced to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not doing
that , you are being sent for cheap lunch by the employees when they
are broke and they can’t order with hello food. This is when
conversations about where people schooled start, you go silent for it’s
no longer of any use to say you also reached University, it doesn’t
matter – you have resorted to surviving.
Once in while you
will bump into your now well to do classmates they would offer you
lunch, but not even eating the meals at caffesserie will make you feel
better about yourself, because in your mind you wish instead they would
give you the 30k and you sort your meals for the next 5 days. As it is
the norm you will have photos taken, and uploaded on Facebook, but
always it’s your face that would look odd one out – not even the best
filters can hide a face which has borne the city dust and survives on
boiled beans.
The worst mistake you can do during this period
is to try and date – there is nothing that a person going through such
times can offer in terms of love. How are you going to do evening
romantic walks when you are tired from walking delivering letters in
offices around town? What are you going to tell your lady when she says
she wants to go to Coasto for Easter? That your financial religion
doesn’t allow it or what? This is the age when you sit back and watch as
the ladies you would want to date are dating or getting married to guys
10 years older than you. And you can’t blame them – it’s only that your
life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in life.
Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and if by then your life is still in disarray like Liverpool’s performance in the EPL then my friend be prepared for a walk out.
But then this is the age when you learn a lot of
about life, if you can hack through this stage of life the only hard
moment in your life would be when you lose your parents- that’s if you
are still lucky enough to have them. This stage teaches you a lot about
perseverance, about appreciating the small wins you have each day, it
teaches you something about friendship, love, career growth and personal
responsibility .This is always your rise or fall moment depending on
the choices you make. How you live your life in the 30’s is determined
by how you handled your life in this phase
Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and if by then your life is still in disarray like Liverpool’s performance in the EPL then my friend be prepared for a walk out.
