I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

DONT CLING TO A MISTAKE BECAUSE YOU SPENT A LOT OF TIME MAKING IT.

Listening to a conversation by a lady who decided to become complacent with the physical ,verbal and emotional trauma from her spouse and her giving reasons as to why she stayed in a toxic and draining relationship made me sick to my stomach so I write this to show women who use "I have no where else to go," as an excuse that it's time for you to want better for yourself.


Women feel trapped in relationships of domestic abuse. For  reasons like a pastor told her that God hates divorce, her partner said he would change, she did not have a place to go and money to survive once she left, she thought love conquered all, she felt alone , what would she do with the kids or just the fact that she has given so much to the relationship that she would rather stay than leave.
The limitations of leaving can be both psychological and physical. Many rationalise their situation. Some end up blaming themselves for the abusive behaviour of their partners and try convince themselves if they approach the person differently, maybe they won’t be abused.

Being in an toxic relationship is like an addiction “The person being abused is focused on the positive and waiting for the next positive. The fact that a person can be so loving in one moment and cruel the next makes you doubt that they don't mean it and as women we tend to see the good in the people we love and end up suffering for it.The psychological effect the moments of tenderness and intimacy are unpredictable, but they are so intense and fulfilling that the you end up staying in the hopes that a moment like that will happen again. Almost like selective amnesia you forget the bad in order to hope for the moments of intense love and acts of grandeur.
 (see my post on learn to live ,  dont agree to bercome a statistic  ,starting over )

Eventually you become both physically mentally and emotionally worn down and continue to tolerate more abuse.  Over time you end up feeling less entitled to safety, to love, to happiness like you do not deserve it.

The thing is a-woman-is-unstopable-once-she-realises she deserves better .When you get so used to being unhappy you begin to think it's normal. While in reality it is Not normal. Nobody is created to stay miserable. It is the wrong decisions we continue to make after a mistake that leave us broken.

Everyone goes through bad things you can either let that define you or you can learn to move on having learnt from the situation.

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WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES GOD OPENS ANOTHER

WHO I AM IS A REFLECTION OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND PUSHED ON

Have you been at a point in your life,Where everything that could possibly go wrong. Does go wrong. And it feels like you literally go through an earth quake and you have to start from scratch putting the pieces back together again. With no clue on where to start.

Where you feel like your so far down the bottom of the hole that you can't dig any deeper and you have no choice but to dig your self out.
I have lived through it and looking back at the time that it felt Iike i had hit rock bottom. I am glad I found the strength to crawl out of the hole I had found myself in

No doubt with the help of God Almighty. Because when you have no where else to turn he is always there and for of us. A lot of us only seek him out when we are at our lowest point. The beauty is he will never leave us nor forsake us. He is always there  waiting on us to seek him out.

Looking back at my life and remembering those times .I am nolonger filled with anger, rage or sadness .I look back and am glad I went through all that I did. It has made me a better person and I wouldn't change a thing. The beauty of life is that it's one big lesson after the other with the hand of God guiding you along the way.

In life, I have found that the people who have gone through the worst situations imaginable, are the people with the biggest hearts and the most to offer in life. If you have not been through something you can't say you have seen the hands of God,and that is Where Great things are moulded.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS DONT WORK WITHOUT COMMITMENT

In life the only way you can truly make a resolution and stick to it is if you have absolutely had enough of something that you want to change.

Some of us are starting the year with hopes of success,fitness goals, better relationships,self improvement goals, etc. There is nothing wrong with all of that it's normal. However what's the point of setting yourself up for failure by the end of the first week. 

You can't allow yourself to fail you. You are all you have only know what your life is really like and if you can't improve on yourself, who do you expect to improve you. It starts with identifying your worth and loving you for you faults and all. Take a look in the mirror and look yourself in your eyes and see yourself and if you feel like looking away write down what made you feel that way and keep doing that till you have the list of things you have to improve on you need to work your way out from inside you can't fix the outer you without dealing with your core because change that starts from within is a change that will last lifetime.

KIDS ITS BEDTIME

ONLY A MOTHER KNOWS THE VALUE OF BED TIME

After the long holiday the kids have had i know there are quite a  few moms that are excited to have the kid s going back to school and having them on a fixed schedule.

Before i was a mom.I would look at my older sister putting her kids to bed at 7:00pm and they  would literally be asleep by 7:15pm  .I felt like it was punishment .Like who on earth wants to sleep so early.

Well now years later, i can attest to the fact that that was one of the best things she ever taught me. Those 15 minute bathroom breaks .Where you literally go sit in the bathroom.Doing nothing. Just enjoying the tranquility because you know that nobody would dare hurry you out when your in the toilet. Hahahahah the struggle gets so real as a mom. Any how those 15 minutes are never  enough.

Cooking, cleaning, playing with your kids and giving them attention when they demand it during the day is no easy task and if you have a spouse to take care of as well it can be just too much to handle .

Personally i am so excited that schools are opening and now i understand why my parents and parents in general are always, so willing when it comes to school . More time for me to have to catch up with the rest of the world around me . My life literally goes on pause ,when i go on mommy mode and it is beautiful because, in those moments you find yourself doing things ,you would not usually do. You live life from your little ones perspective.

For those who do not understand the importance of bedtime  it is  like being served desert on a nice starry clear night hahahah.Its the only time a mom gets to do exactly what she needs  or wants to do sometimes its sleep sometimes its read or just drink a glass or two  of wine s you catch up on your favourite series.

In conclusion Goodnight .

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DEAR YOUNG MOM.

DEAR YOUNG MOM,
People always get surprised when I say, "I am a mother to a daughter." they always insist I look too young.First of all I would like to thank God and my mom for the good genes. But they are right I had a child at 21 which some might consider young.

However,I have met women who had children while still getting their primary education and have listened to a variety of their stories. When they look back years down the line with with their children becoming teenagers. The one thing they can all agree on is that A child is always a blessing.
 The smiles on their faces is priceless and it warms my heart.

I write to all you,fellow young mums to give you some of the lessons I have learnt, and some that have been shared with me.

The decision to keep a child can be a daunting decision .Especially if you had not planned for it! But once u decide to choose love it becomes a blissful experience. "All a child needs is love and the rest will be provided" that was the first piece of advice I got it was very simple and that's what I hold on to this day.

Sharing a body with someone for 9 months
(depending on gestation period) is the most beautiful gift you can experience. For once you are not alone. Someone knows how you feel .Someone shares with you your food,your laughter,your tears, your worry,your blood and most importantly you get to communicate with that person growing inside you .In those months you share your daily experiences with someone and they felt every emotion. That is where they first connected with you. This bond is what makes each child special.

You then get to feel the pain of birth and in that, you learn that There is nothing you wouldn't do for you child.You feel what your mother felt when she pushed you out into this world. In that you learn to treasure your mother and you learn to appreciate her more because you realise everything she has done for you is out of her love for you.

When you spend the next 6 months looking at your child and them looking at you ,helplessly depending on you for everything.The bond grows sometimes stress, frustration,worry and anxiety too but that warm smile your toothless bundle of joy gives you melts it all away and that is unconditional love.

Each milestone passing and you get to see your child's personality. You see yourself in them and you want to protect them as best as you can but you then realise that everyone has their path on this earth and there is only so much u can do as you hope for the best.

As a mother there is no handbook that equips you to be the best parent or no handbook that helps you deal with the emotional whirlwind you go through when you become a mother. Everything you do is out of instinct and with that we need to cut our mothers some slack motherhood isn't easy.

What is important is to know that although you have no idea of what you are doing Trust in God. Don't ask him why just believe that he has your best interest at heart. The lessons learnt from motherhood are lessons you cannot get anywhere else.

Each day that passes, passes quick soon you get a hang of it. Some days are harder than others. The most important thing is to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Avoid toxicity in your life become blind and deaf to those that are constantly hating.  You will probably loose many friends or people you held dear to you along the way. But it is fine those that stick by your side even When you give them little reason to become like Gold.

The journey of motherhood is not easy and don't expect it to be. Live,Love,Learn and never stop dreaming because you now have someone who looks up to you and depends on you. Do what you need to do and don't settle for less than you deserve. Fulfil your dreams as you fulfil your child's grow together and I guarantee you when you look back at the journey you have been on you will be proud of yourself and your child will appreciate all you have done for them.

Lastly,Learn to love yourself and get to know yourself.Forgive yourself for your short comings and appreciate yourself for all your positive attributes

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WOMAN AND CHILD TRAFFICKING IN KENYA

THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT TO OUR FUTURE THAN THE SAFETY OF OUR CHILDREN TODAY

robbing-children-of-childhood 
 contemporary-modern-day-slavery  
 US department of state
According to the US Department of state. Kenya is a source, transit, and destination country for men, women, and children subjected to forced labor and sex trafficking. Within the country, children are forced to labor in domestic service, agriculture, fishing, cattle herding, street vending, and begging. Children—both girls and boys—are also exploited in prostitution throughout Kenya, including in the coastal sex tourism industry; at times, their prostitution is facilitated by women in prostitution, “beach boys,” and sometimes family members. Children are exploited in prostitution by those working in sectors such as khat (a mild narcotic) cultivation areas, near Nyanza’s gold mines, along the coast by truck drivers transporting stones from quarries, and by fishermen on Lake Victoria. Kenyans voluntarily migrate to other East African nations, South Sudan, Angola, Europe, the United States, and the Middle East—particularly Saudi Arabia and Oman—in search of employment, where at times they are exploited in domestic servitude, massage parlors and brothels, or forced manual labor. Gay and bisexual Kenyan men are lured from universities with promises of overseas jobs, but are forced into prostitution in Qatar and the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Nairobi-based labor recruiters maintain networks in Uganda that recruit Rwandan and Ugandan workers through fraudulent offers of employment in the Middle East and Asia. Kenyan women are subjected to forced prostitution in Thailand by Ugandan and Nigerian traffickers Children from East Africa and South Sudan are subjected to forced labor and sex trafficking in Kenya; Kenyan children may endure similar exploitation in these countries. Kenya’s largest refugee camp complex, Dadaab, hosts hundreds of thousands of refugees and asylum seekers, and the security situation limits some humanitarian access, assistance, and protective services. Some Somali refugees reported the presence of al-Shabaab recruiters; a 2012 survey by a local NGO found fear of recruitment, especially of children, into this armed group was a concern of a small percentage of respondents. Some children in Kenya-based refugee camps may endure sex trafficking, while others are taken from the camps and forced to work on tobacco farms. Trucks transporting goods from Kenya to Somalia returned to Kenya with young girls and women subsequently placed into brothels in Nairobi or Mombasa. Indian women recruited to work in mujra dance clubs in Nairobi face debt bondage, which they are forced to pay off by dancing and performing sex acts. US department of state 

SEE MY ARTICLE robbing-children-of-childhood 
contemporary-modern-day-slavery 

DONT SHY AWAY. SPEAK OUT. YOUR TIME IS NOW.

YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE A RAINBOW

Speaking out on something you are passionate about or just voicing your opinion / concern can be a daunting task.

The voices in your heard are the harshest critics you have to deal with, but one thing you need to remember is that, it is you and every opportunity you don't take is an opportunity you missed. 

It is a set back and you put yourself on the back burner.As you miss out.

Think of it as a road and instead of getting from point A to B you use a longer route and now you have to go from point A then to C then to your destination.

That's what happens to the best of us.We miss out on opportunities  because we let that voice in our heads get the best of us,

As  women, we are taught to watch what we say and we let other people rise to the occasion.  As we stay seated behind dreaming on the what if's. We need to not be afraid of facing our fears. There is more to loose than to gain.

Women we are the light of the world we add so much colour to life and the only way we can do that is by going out and chasing our dreams.

Speaking out on what we think is wrong and just letting our voices be heard because when we begin to let out voices be heardc a change does begin to occur .Words are powerful.

Dont shy away from an opportunity to speak out .Your time is now don't rob yourself of an opportunity.