HOW TO STOP DEPRESSION

In life we sometimes get mad at the people who are in our life for staying that we push them away and hate them for leaving.

Pain ,trauma, physical reminders and emotional scars have a way of being etched so deep in our mind that we go on an instinctual defensive mode.

We raise our walls and without knowing the very thing we where trying to avoid is what happens .

How do we avoid this ? The simple but hard solution is to simply to deal with the root cause of our triggers. Whatever causes you to need to protect yourself even when you don't need to protect yourself needs to be regulated.

How you ask? By simply saying this made me heart because it reminded me of this. However you then have to realize that this is a completely different situation and or person and or thing. And judging it based on a past experience unrelated is making a poor decision an unfair decision.

We need to learn how to heal our emotions by feeding them on a healthy emotional diet.  Feeling yourself with love, acceptance,and kindness . Knowing that someone else's decisions and opinions are their own and they should have little to no effect on how you see yourself.

You are the most important person in your life .Fill yourself with positivity and reassurance and most importantly self love.

Let your guard down. Set aside your pride and disconnect all the parts of your life that only bring you pain even if it also brings you joy. Choose you . Choose to heal .

Cry through the lows ,laugh through the highs but don't ever agree to feel that you don't deserve to be here Abit longer to try achieve the happiness you deserve.

FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO YOU

YOU ARE NOT LOST YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU NEED TO BE.

The hardest battle you will ever have to fight is the battle that occurs within yourself. It can't be seen. It can't be touched ,it can only be felt.

You find yourself asking yourself is this normal? am I normal? how do I  make it stop? why is it this happening to me?

What I have discovered in moments where I had to sit still with my self is .sometimes life floods you with so much sometimes just so you can sit down and accept that you don't have the control you thought you did.

Life has a way of putting you exactly where you are supposed to be. At the exact moment you are supposed to be there inorder for you to grow.

Change is hard and we are often reluctant to go through it . But what life is to me is a series of seasons of change . You aren't supposed to stay the same . You are supposed to grow. You are supposed to fall.You are supposed to crawl and then once you have done all of that you will be able to fly 

My philosophy is accept what you can't change . Change what you can and learn where you need to grow. Life is intense but if you can't stop and find peace .it also has away of ensuring you slow down.

Love the season you are in because it only happens once .

Live,love,learn,laugh and never stop dreaming because anything is possible.

 

BLESSINGS BY LAURA STORY

 

I stumbled upon this song thanks to my daughter and I felt like I should share the lyrics  coz I love it 

YouTube link to song

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

… 'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

… We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

… When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not our home

… What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

Disclaimer I don't own the rights to this song

THE SEVEN LOVELY LOGICS

 

START HEALING YOURSELF FROM WITHIN

On my own journey of self discovery I realized the most important thing in your life is your mental well being. Which also happens to be the hardest thing to deal with.

You see we have been told all our lives what we should be doing. What we should be achieving at this and that period of time . How we should behave,How we should take care of this and that. So much so that we start to focus more on the things outside of ourselves more than what is going on within ourselves.

Most of us even hate to be alone with our own thoughts. We fill our time doing everything else but checking in on ourselves.

Which when you really ask yourself why doesn't make sense . Because isn't everything we do meant to be for the betterment of our own tomorrow!

Until you are able to sit still look yourself in the mirror and apply the seven lovely logic's in our lives . We will be unable to achieve true happiness. 

Because how can we expect external things and people make us happy when we can't even make ourselves happy .

Live,Love,Learn,Laugh and start to heal yourself .

Forgive yourself and love yourself more than you ever have in your life.

KNOWING YOUR TRIGGERS AND HEALING FROM YOUR TRAUMA

YOUR TRAUMA IS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT HEALING IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

Let me start by defining what trauma is.

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. 

Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. 

There are three main types of trauma

Acute.

Chronic.

Complex.

Acute trauma results from a single incident.

Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged such as domestic violence or abuse.

Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

Alot of the time when we experience certain traumas and haven't dealt with those feelings or have not gone to seek help inorder to begin to heal from trauma and we end up trauma bonding .

Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse. The bond is created due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement in most cases acts of kindness or one seeks forgiveness and says they don't know what came over them or are truly sorry.

Most trauma bonds occur in relationships.which basically is a deep emotional attachment that develops in a relationship characterized by abuse that's emotional, physical, or both. ... "Exploitive relationships create trauma bonds. These occur when a victim bonds with someone who is destructive to them and choose to stay for various reasons.

All in all trauma not identified will always cause destruction of your own life and those around you.

We don't deserve to go through pain and trauma . However it is a part of life and it is important that we choose to want better for ourselves . To improve our lives and enable ourselves to live in our truth. 

To do that it is important that we face our demons no matter how much it hurts . Some scars last a lifetime however inorder for us to live this lifetime we have got to accept the things we can't change and change the things that we are able to.

Believe in you. You deserve the best and don't doubt that and then work towards getting the grass green . Live, Learn,Laugh,Love and never stop dreaming . 

If you need help feel free to reach out to me and I will ensure you get help.   Http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist

LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE LOVED.

As we begin the new year we all have ideas of what we would like to accomplish before the year ends . Some of us chose not to have resolutions because by March we have already gone back to old ways so we ask what's the point of writing any. But the thing we should tell ourselves instead of what is the point is..... I really want to get this and this done but if I don't . I forgive myself and as long as I have breath in me I have a chance to get it done. That is why I felt like self love should be the first thing I write about this year. What is self love you may ask?

Self-love is defined as a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.

My journey into self love began 9 years ago . I knew I needed to put more emphasis on self love when I got to a point in my life where I wasn't where I wanted to be and was unhappy with my choices that got me to where I was. I couldn't stand to see my own reflection in the mirror for more than 10 seconds because all I could see was the face of the person that let me down and that person was myself. I could see the unhappiness in my own eyes and I was soley responsible for my own unhappiness.

Getting myself to where I am today has been a journey of self discovery. I have had to see my own pain and make peace within myself. Forgive myself and others and let go of the pain so that I could find healing. I had to learn how to love myself. How to accept myself for all that I am an all that I am not. Above all I had to learn that if I don't make myself happy I shouldn't expect other people to do it for me.

I read a quote that said you are the most important person in your life . Everyone is responsible for themselves. TBH when I understood that I felt Abit lighter.

So I would like to share with you some of the things I learnt and continue to learn and apply in my own life to date. My hope is that you learn to love yourself and to heal so that you can grow and be who you want to be.

1) Get to know yourself. Who you are .what you like .What you hate .What makes you happy and where you want to go.

2) Learn to say no . Don't over extend yourself . Do what you are comfortable with doing and that should be enough .Don't take on more than you can handle.

3)Be present in the moment. Time flys and we will never get to go back in time all we will have is our memories so make many and be fully present in each moment.You won't get it back.

4)Don't compare yourself to other people. Life is a journey and not a race be you at your own pace.

5)Forgive yourself for your shortcomings.

If you can't forgive yourself who will.

6) Accept yourself for who you are and what you are not.

7)Be kind to yourself and spoil yourself . Show yourself love for all you have been through and reward your body spirit and soul for the fact that you keep going. And prioritize me time by doing something you enjoy doing.

8) Celebrate your triumphs allow yourself to grieve and heal from your losses . Lastly allow yourself to feel your feeling.

9)Stand up for yourself.

10)Know that it is perfectly okay to ask for help .It takes a village to go through life.

11) know that not everybody will like you and it's not your job to please them. Just be you and do you 

12)Practice gratitude and thanks giving.

13)Take care of your body so that it can take care of you.

14)Be kind to yourself.

15) Surround yourself with positive energy . Leave what is negative and toxic behind.

16)Heal from all the scars you have gotten along the way

17) Be kind to yourself and others.

18) Show love and compassion. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you 

19) Choose YOU.

20) Perfom an act of kindness to someone less fortunate it will always fill your heart to see someone else happy .

Those have been some of the areas I have focused don and I hope they help you on your journey of self love . 

LIVE LAUGH LOVE LEARN AND NEVER STOP DREAMING.  For more check out and. Subscribe to my podcast http://linktr.ee/nairobifeminist

Speaking out against molestation in kibera #nairobifeminist

We all have our lives to live but let us also learn to help those that need help even when they don't ask . Let us learn to be our brother's keeper.

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