THAT WHICH YOU JUDGE YOU BECOME

Sinners judging sinners for sinning differently

I had a conversation with someone about the importance of speaking your mind but doing so politely.....it was a long conversation. 

You see imagine going your whole life just agreeing to everything and not speaking up when you need to .

You then get to a point where you get tired of bottling it up so you start to speak your mind . Irregardless of how it affects anyone. Your argument being," nobody cared when I was hurting silently. So I shouldn't care if anyone doesn't like what I have to say" .

Makes sense . It really does. Almost couldn't argue with that. Except. Making people feel bad using words cuts deeper than anything else in this world.

 I love words. That's why I write. It holds weight. So it's important to be careful of the words you use.

So I asked why didn't you speak up all your life why now? They said, because I was affraid of saying the wrong thing and getting scolded for it. Coz it happened alot when I was younger. I was always told off . So I stayed quiet........let that sink in!!!

Without knowing this person had ended up doing the same thing they disliked being on the receiving end of. 

This happens alot in life. We tend to end up doing the things we fear, the things we hate, the things we judge other people for doing. Simply because it's an area we need to heal/learn from. So that we can move on. If we don't we will repeat the pattern and harm not only ourselves but those around us as well .

TWINKLE LIKE THE STAR YOU ARE.

YOUR DESTINY IS WITHIN YOU BUT IT BENEFITS MORE THAN JUST YOU. YOU IMPACTS THE LIVES OF OTHERS

At some point i woke up and said I was done with the nairobi feminist because I was naive to believe it had reached its end.

So many people asked me why. And to be honest I don't think I had a valid answer. Part of me felt I've done enough. I've said enough . I've helped enough . I've had enough. I'm not enough!

Truly selfish reasons if you ask me. But the thing about being a creative. You can only create art when you are inspired and I lacked that for a while. I lost the plot as someone once told me. That was the truth I was lost. I had strayed far away from why I do what I do and why it's so important to me.  Mostly because I had so much going on.

Funny thing is in all of that I forgot I was going against the grain. I was forcing my body,soul and mind to do things it didn't want to do. And it forced me to stop and listen to the voice within.

I must say what I heard made me feel very apologetic. I heard the words," who said you can just stop! The gift wasn't given to you . To use as you please but to serve . To help . To inspire . To teach . To comfort. It doesn't belong to you it belongs to those you help . Your just the vessel and if you stop what is your worth!

And I tell you I was shocked and humble and humiliated at the same time . I had forgotten we are not placed on this earth to just exist for ourselves . But to be a light to others and in that you have to die of self . Loose all selfishness . Realize that you are only as important as the impact you have on others. Create a little heaven on this dark Earth so that others can begin to want to see the real thing .

Live , learn, laugh , love and never stop dreaming .If you dream it it can happen. If you put in the work from the lessons learnt 

RECOGNIZING THE PAIN BODY WITHIN YOURSELF

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK WITHIN AND REALISE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM

In our lives we all have moments where we want to be at peace within ourselves. However, it seems impossible. It feels like we are stuck and unable to cross that barrier to heal and find peace. I've been at that point of stickiness severally. However what I have learn in those moments is something I repeat regularly on here.  When you go against the grain. When you go against the very fibre of your body, mind and soul.Your  body will not allow you to proceed until you rectify the course of your direction.

We all have a destination we are heading to. To get there we have to realise the reason for our existence, let go of all that holds us back. That is remember you came into this earth with nothing. You will leave with nothing. So absolutely nobody  and nothing is more important than the soul that lives within you.Dont sell yourself short.

Don't allow yourself to be fooled into thinking your past, your present , your future is of key value. Think in this moment what am I doing that gives me peace and shows love and kindness to those around me . Especially  to the strangers you meet, the orphans and the widows.

To find peace you have to look back at all the moments that you have pain / sharp knives in your back allow them to speak . Don't silence them say those things outloud and release the power they have had over you by saying. I will not let you ruin another moment of my life any more.