DONT LISTEN TO THE BULLY IN YOUR HEAD.

I am very critical of myself because, i feel that i should 

always be aware of my short comings.
So that ,if someone was to point something out. It doesnt bother me as much.As i would be working on it.

I like to be prepared for the worse case scenario so i dont get disappointed or surprised. I like to be informed and conscious of everything that happens around me inorder for me to have a choice and not have to pick something that had aready been chosen for me. However i wouldnt classify myself as a control freak ,because i do know how and when to let go and let God.

Which brings me to todays post. 

Sometimes in life we tend to be our harshest critics . We spend our time trying to improve ourselves that we dont realise that sometimes we do the most harm to ourselves.

For the longest time i spent time trying to figure out what i can do to make myself less like me and more like what i was expected to be and what i expected myself to be .

Because i felt that being me was too much to handle and all of this based on opinions i thought mattered .
lnstead all it did was bring me down.

To the point that i never stopped to see the progress that i had made in my life. The areas of growth , the wisdom and knowledge that i have gained from past lessons.

 Because i was so focused on what was wrong with me and what i felt i was lacking.

I failed to see the wonderful woman i have become compared to the child i once was . i never stopped to see that all my battle wounds have grown into beautiful reminders of strength ,perserverance and determination. All this through hard work.

I failed to see my own progress ,my achievments my strengths and my smile because i was wrapped up in my own head bringing myself down.

Sometimes people will try to dim your light to brighten there own and that does do damage.

However, the real damage occurs when you fool yourself into believing it.  Thats when the block occurs , because if you cant stand for you . Nobody else will stand up for you.

Dont sentense yourself to death. Dont be the Judge .Jury and executioner without seeing the full scope .

For every negative thought think of three positive ones and that should tell you things cant be as bad as they seem. Nothing ever is. For with each problem comes a solution and for each solution comes another problem.
But dont allow yourself to believe the lie that, it is impossible or too difficult, or that you are not good enough.

When that thought comes give yourself a break and remind yourself of all the reasons why you are perfect as you are and as you work on improving yourself . God's timing is best because some lessons make more sense after a series of storms.

In all things live your life learning but dont let the learning cause you to stop dreaming.

THE ART ON MY SKIN

Before you judge me,look closely and see my story.

I may be comfortable in my own skin.but again i might not be.

Just like clothes i added a new layer to my skin .i covered up and attempted to create a new.

The art on my skin is a representation of who i am.

Who i long to be. And what i dream about

Just like the wrinkles age give's us have a story.
i chose to create my own master piece .

I am no different from you i just express myself different than you do .

Maybe i still love to draw and to colour.
The only difference is i dont use paper.
The calming effect and silence allows my thoughts to flow freely.
For with each blot of ink i added to my skin i tell a story.

I am not perfect nor do i long to be. But labeling me because of your own preconcieved notions doesnt make you much different from a racist.

I know its forbidden and to some a mark of disgrace.
But just because you hide your sin and act righteous. Doesn't mean you get to judge me for wearing my heart on my sleeve.(pun intended)

I have one life to live . Living it with your judgement and criticism doesnt make it any easier. Your kindness would be what made it easier.

What you forget our history is filled with dreadlocks,tattoos ,piercings ,cuttings, shavings,tooth removal and few or no clothing at all.

Dont be so colonized that you forget where you are from. Or rather uncolonize your thoughts.

The kinky strands of hair that fall down my back are not a sign of rebellion .They are just the way i love to style my hair.

I may appear alittle rough around the edges but that doesnt mean i am immune to your critisism , your false sense of who i am or have a stone shell of a heart and mind.

You may argue that i should try harder. Put on a facade remove my piercings cover up my ink. Cut my dreads and conform to normal standards.

The question is why should i aim to ease others and deny myself my own pleasure.

Why should i give and not receive. Why should i compromise my own happiness for your satisfaction.

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FRIENDSHIP

 

A TRUE FRIEND NOT ONLY KNOWS YOUR STORY BUT HELPED WRITE IT.

15 years ago i read a quote that said. ,"Old friends are like gold .New ones are like silver." and it stuck with me .

I cant say, i fully understood it or that i have seen the full scope of it. But i can say it has revealed itself to me over the years.
 Looking back i remember saying to myself.

"hold on to it and see the prediction unfold before your eyes, and i am glad i kept it in mind."

Looking back at the friendships i have had and those that i  continue to have.I feel fortunate to have met and made acquaintances with people that have given me amazing memories. Each and everyone added to my life.

As children we discovered in curiosity.(Everything was exciting and new.)

As teenagers we discovered in haste.(trying to be grown yearning to be legal)

As adults we re-discover what we missed along the way and gain for the future.(we are patient because we are wiser)

Through it all having  a ying, to my yang made the journey alot more bearable.

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True friendship is timeless and limitless.

Time seems to fly in eachothers company and the adventures serve as memoirs.

It comforts without question or judgement.

It feels what is unspoken and heals without speaking.

It loves throughout, without seasons.

For the seasons of growth ,no reasons of reproach.

For time spent away doesnt tear away a foundation that is already well rooted.

A true friend will fight battles by your side and set you straight after.

A shoulder to lean on and to stand side by side .

Because inorder to rise you must rise with those around you.

To find family in a friend has to be one of the most beautiful gift's from God.

DO NOT LET YOUR FEARS DRIVE YOU BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW YOUR STRENGTH.

"The most beautiful thoughts are always besides the darkest-Kanye West" 

I love this quote because it doesnt glorify the darkest thoughts but it brings the light to the darkness.

 

The greatest treasures in life are found in the hardest to reach places. However that doesnt mean we give up trying because ,it's going to be tough.

It just means that the journey is worth the reward.

So many times we allow our mind to hold us captive because we are affraid of venturing into unchartered waters or simply because we do not have faith in ourselves or what we have planned.

You have to learn to listen to that little voice that percerveers through it all. 

You have to choose to listen to your intuition/sixth sense and not to the fear.

Remind yourself you are worthy.when doubt arises ask yourself, Why should i deny myself a chance to improve myself?

The truth is that, fear causes more failure than failure actually does ! You are guaranteed to fail if you dont try.

I love a challenge because i can measure my level of growth. But at the same time although you come well prepared something always happens to show you that you can never be truly prepared. 

In that moment growth occurs and you become more of an asset.
You have to believe in yourself to know that, at the end of the day you did do your best and will continue to do your best and that is what will allow your fears to disappear.

Irregardless of the lessons you learn and how much they may affect you. LIVE ,LOVE ,LAUGH OFTEN ,LEARN AND NEVER STOP PERSUING YOUR DREAMS.