WHEN DREAMS DO COME TRUE.

SPEAK YOUR DREAMS OUT LOUD ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO GET THEM DONE WITHOUT FAIL.

We get to live this life only once

The fact that most of us spend a lot of time stressing about things that don't matter . or that some of us survive life feeling like it's more of a burden.
Uninspired and unmoved .
That we live life without truly doing what makes us happy.

I believe if we could all take more risks and keep striving to achieve what others consider fantasies or dreams (which ultimately is the hardest pasth but with the best rewards) we would all be happier. Because the only thing impossible in this world is just the word impossible. We have infinite possibilities yet we restrict ourselves and it bothers me.Why would anyone settle for mediocrity !

I am constantly haunted by the quote,"most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us".

It worries me because I feel like I have a lot to accomplish before I go and I would like to make sure when I do go .

I've checked off everything off of my to do list .However my own fears sometimes get the best of me and it takes me longer than I should to do what I want and need to do

2019 has got to be the year that I got to live out dreams I knew would happen but I didn't think would happen so soon.
Although most of them happened before I was ready.......They happened and made me realise that although life seems uncertain. There are certain things you know deep deep down are written in the stars for you and only you, doesn't matter how hard you ignore them or try to change them .

You have to accept that nothing new happens under the sun. You are living your life based on a book that was already written and the only power you have is the power to make that ending one that makes you proud.

Live life its hard but you need to learn so that you can later laugh and love .

Happy new year .Never stop dreaming because as impossible as it is to believe that dreams do come true.

Imagine what it would feel like to see yourself on the other side living a dream you thought would only be just a dream.

You are like a ray of sunshine so shine bright.

FAMILY IS GOD'S SLICE OF HEAVEN ON EARTH

FAMILY IS WHERE LOVE BEGINS AND WHERE IT NEVER ENDS

Looking back in my life my most treasured moments are moments that i had my family by my side and thats because family will always be there for you .
Through the good and the bad.

As a kid i always loved chrismas (and still do) gifts under the chrismas tree , loudly singing chrismas carols (our family favourite 12 days of chrismas) fake santa , the food, the highlight was seeing my grandparents listening to stories and playing games with my cousins aunties and uncles .

The only time age was never a concern. Young and old we played. The only time when age didnt matter.

Family is Gods way of showing his love .It is his most treasured asset.

During the festive season is when friends and  families get to be together and, enjoy eachothers company.
 Where differences are put aside . Where laughter fills the air.
Where love brings us together and hate doesnt exist.

Irregardless of what kind of family you come from or who you consider family (blood or not)
Everything you have learnt in life gets applied to those around us.
 To impact the world you have to first impact those around you .

Take this time of the year to heal.
To love .
To be happy.
Wherever you are, irregardless of what situation you are in . Laugh and appreciate all that has happened and as you anticipate the new year.

 Make it a year where you begin to live your dream. Dont make a list because that never works. Just choose to live your dream.

Thankyou for all your lovely emails and your continuous interest in what i have to write about.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Regards,
Founder of Untold Lives of Women Kenya.
Mishi Khalid.

LESSONS FROM MOTHERHOOD

BEING A MOM KEEPS YOU YOUNG IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE THE WORLD FROM THEIR LITTLE EYES

Motherhood is where all love begins and 
where children become the anchors that hold a mother to life.

The first moment i saw my daughter was magical  .

For the first time i saw what the world was really about . I saw her beautiful eyes stairing back at me and all i wanted to do was protect her ,hold her and  love her.
That feeling has not left me even in the toughest of days just looking into her beautiful eyes or getting one of her little hugs brings me joy.

The truth about motherhood is that. You dont know what your getting yourself into and you are not as prepaired as you think.

It is the greatest thing you can experience and it can  also be the hardest.

Because we are human .
the thing about being a child of your mother is that you will never understand what it is like until you have your own child .

After i gave birth and i was taken back to my room and my mum came in i broke down crying and said how sorry i was .Truth be told that was the most sincere apology i ever gave her because i truly meant it and wanted to be better. In that moment all the love she had given me flashed before my eyes and so did the times that i was not greatful and took her for granted.

You don't take a class; you're thrown into motherhood and learn from experience. You go from living your best life doing what you want to do when you want .

To sacrificing everything you have from your time to your friends,to your sleep, to your hobbies to ensure that your child has a shot in this life .To ensure your child is happy to ensure that you have a life long friend that will take care of you when you cant take care of your self.

The lesson i learnt from all of this was that being a parent doesnt mean that you possess all the skills to be a parent and it doesnt mean that you become a super mom .it just means that you have everyday for the rest of your life to become better. 

I would urge all of you to see the human in your parents wherther or not they are flawed. Remember that they loved you first and that they loved you as you are so .love them as they are. 

Remember this.Being a mum is a series of conscious choices that enable you to raise your child ,either better than you where raised, just as you where raised , or you can choose not to care.

You choose how your child will view you and approach you for the rest of their life meaning you can either be their rock or you can  be the  reason for their fall.

Live , Love,Learn ,Laugh and Dream Big.

THE SPIRIT OF AFRICAN UNITY:OUR BORDERS ARE JUST LINES DRAWN BY OUR COLONIZERS

I AM NOT AFRICAN BECAUSE I WAS BORN IN AFRICA BUT BECAUSE AFRICA WAS BORN IN ME,AND THE POWERS THAT KEEP US UNITED ARE FAR GREATER THAN THE SUPERIMPOSED INFLUENCES THAT KEEP US APART.

Patrice  lumumba said,"These divisions which the colonial powers have always exploited to dominate us.Have played an important role and are still playing that role in the suicide of Africa."

Before we colonization we lived peacefully in unity growing and supporting each other with the occasional cattle raid lol . We then got colonized and although we attained Independence of our countries . It is evident that we never uncolonized our minds.

Watching what has happened in the past and continues to happen In Africa from the Rwandan genocide to Kenya's post election violence to South Africa's xenophobia. To nigeria SARS police brutality. To corrupt leaders leading countries to abject poverty  or to the increased hate towards dark skin and how we bleach our skin to be lighter to be less African .

We have been convinced that we are inferior that we want to eliminate everything that makes us unique.what we forget is that being African comes from within it . The African spirit is greater than anything that happens to us.we where slaves and we now celebrate black billionaires .They hated our music our fashion and now it's what is seen and heard around the world

We where forced to turn against each other as they divided and conquered Africa (I'm sure that phrase began in Africa) and they ensured that we were divided to ensure that they can take from us what is ours.Because they knew the value of what we had and where threatened by the power we would and could have if we came together to improve our continent.

We elect incompetent leaders to speak for us to rule our countries and instead of helping those who elected them all they do is drive us further apart, and have us murder each other while they sit in their luxurious homes and offices unbothered.

Kwame Nkuruma said,"it is clear that we must find an African solution to our problems and that this can only be found in African unity.Divided we are weak,United Africa could become one of the greasy forces for good in the world.

We have to remember that, Hatred paralyzes life. Love releases it.
Hatred confuses life.Love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens Life. Love luminates it.

History teaches us that unity is strength and cautions us to submerge and overcome our differences in the quest for common goals to strike with all our combined strength for the path to true  African brotherhood is unity."Haile Selassie

We are a representation of what our future will look like. I love a quote by the late
Jommo Kenyatta that says."Our children may learn about heroes of the past,but our task is to make ourselves architects of the future.
If you think you are to small to make a difference clearly you haven't spent the night with a mosquito.
Anything you can do to make the world impacts a person at a time and before you know it you leave a legacy that impacts the lives of countless people.

Let me end this post with these two quotes. Nelson Mandela said,"I dream of an Africa which is in peace with its self ." I feel for us to reach that point we have to understand what the Dali lama meant when he said ," world peace begins with inner peace.

THIS THING CALLED LIFE...

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ROAD YOU ARE WALKING DOWN PAVE A NEW ONE

'Everyday is a new beginning.'Cliche quote ..I know However let's look at it another way. If you have 365 days in a year . How many of those 365 days can you actually account for?
If every day is a new beginning why does your year look exactly as it did last year?

 If from the day you are born you are a day closer to your death. (I know it might sound pessimistic. However it is the truth.)
Unfortunately , in this thing called life . Non of us know's when we will die .The few of us lucky enough to wake up every other morning in good health often take that for granted .
We wake up get to work, or we go through the day doing the things we need to do . Some days letting some things fall to the bottom of the list (out right procrastination)

So let me ask you this if you started to view your time as precious and wouldn't want to waste a minute of it, what would you change about your life if you actually knew the exact day you will die ?
would you tolerate the things that you do? will you be better?will you do more ?will you still be the same person you are now?

I was having a conversation with my mum about life and this is what she shared with me, "the fig tree grows its fruit even before the leaves open. That is why in the parable of the fig tree in the bible. Jesus cursed the fig tree because this specific fig tree's leaves had opened and had not allowed the most important part of the tree(the fruit) to grow."

Which brings me to the question, what areas in your life have you invested so much energy however all the time you invested hasn't bore you any fruit that benefits you?
How much time have you wasted? Just because you spend a lot of time making a mistake doesn't mean you can't stop !
If you where actually told exactly when you where going to die. What would you change?
What would you improve on?
What would you get rid of?
From the answers you have given write a list of what is important. Cut off what is not important ,and stop worrying about the what ifs and start doing and being you.
Make your 365days you have work for you .

Also accept you for you.look your self in the mirror and see yourself as vulnerable as you are accept you can't be perfect and improve on what can be improved on. Where there is a will a way will always be provided....I know another cliche quote but they carry the most weight.
Stop being your own obstacle.

CORRECT IN LOVE AND ELIMINATE THE REBELLIOUSNESS PROCESS.

 HOLDING ONTO ANGER IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE
As a mom i have learnt patience in a way i never thought possible, and applying it to everyday life has become a slightly easier task.
For those that cant relate with that let me give you an example.

When you find a child making a mess or doing something wrong.They are the hardest to correct because, you dont want to scar them,traumatise them or even say the wrong thing because ,you have to correct them with love and in gentleness.
In order for them to know that what they are doing is wrong, and that you want to put them on the right path.

It occured to me that when it comes to correcting anybody. Irrgardless of age ,we should correct them the same way we would correct a child.

When correcting someone the goal is to apply light and not heat.
We correct them because we want them to change and for change to be effective it has to be willing.
With that in mind below is a list of things to avoid to effectively guide someone in the right direction.
The three things you should avoid are;

• Shouting.(which feels like attacking the person)
• Manipulation.
• Commanding  (That is Dictating what to do or Forcing someone to do something.).

 SHOUTING

I want you to think back to the last time someone shouted at you to do something and you actually did it with a good heart ? Personally, i can tell you that shouting may get the job done but, the outcome isnt permanent and it isnt done whole heartedly. 

Inorder to have permanent change of attitude. The person must see that what they are doing is wrong and they must see that it must be corrected. 

The way you approach every situation determines the outcome.So before you shout and raise both your voice and their anger think wisely of what kind of result you are chasing.

MANIPULATION

Can be defined as, exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for ones own advantage. Or as, the skillful handling controlling or using of something or someone.

With that in mind although you can easily achieve the outcome you hope for 

.Remember that we are all intelligent beings and when we eventually realise that we have been manipulated into doing something.

 Resentment and even hate can surface and when it does you might end up loosing that person so evaluate and see if it is worth the risk.

COMMANDING/DICTATING/FORCING 

Nobody likes being forced into doing anything and more importantly note that God himself gives you a choice and even though he knows the right path you should take he lets you find your own way.Even though he could easily get mad and wipe you from existance he ic loving he is kind and he is patient with us above all he never stops believing in us thats why he sent his son to save us

When correcting some one correct them in love and kindness that way they dont get mad and rebel or even do things half heartedly.Politeness always goes a long way even if they are in the wrong 
Live ,Laugh ,Love ,Learn and remember, 'FROM THE ERRORS OF OTHERS A WISE MAN CORRECTS HIS OWN'.

INVISIBLE PEOPLE...(A kind gesture can heal a wound that only compassion can heal .Be kind! )

A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR OWN ATTITUDE AND IN THE LIVES OF THOSE WE ENCOUNTER.

 I love to observe in silence everything that is happening around me .Especially, when i go for walks or long drives.Watching people go about their day. Looking at the expressions on their faces or just observing the way they do things, is something that has always fascinated me.

So on this specific day, i was so preoccupied in my own world of thoughts that i could see what was going on around me .
My body was moving and doing things on automatic but my mind was so far away.

So when someone stopped me to ask for my help .I just brushed them off because ,i felt like it was too much of a task and i wanted to focus more on what was going on in my own mind.
When i realized what i had just done .I paused to evaluate what had just happened.

I was too focused on my own troubles to notice that someone else who was in needed and chose to stop me to ask me for help ,because they thought that i could help.
I ignored them! I didn't even look them in the eye!
I didn't even listen long enough to know what they needed to know how i can help them!
that made me feel horrible because i though to myself when i need help and i don't get any it makes you feel hopeless as though nobody can see you as if you are invisible.

It made me realize how we can sometimes be so preoccupied in our own thoughts that take for granted and seldom see what is going on around us.
We have become selfish because we tend to think of ourselves more than we think of those around us. We have become so detached from one another that we choose not to help people because we feel that someone else can help them or we think that we are being scammed .

That's really disturbing because that is not the basis of compassion. kindness or giving . You should give without expecting to receive. You should do it out of the kindness of your heart because you see someone is in need and you should always treat people the way you would like to be treated.
Always put yourself in someones shoes and choose to be the better person because in helping someone you then make it possible  for them to help another and that is what makes the world a better place.
Also it reminds me of something that i was taught when i was young. ALWAYS HELP A PERSON IN NEED BECAUSE YOU COULD BE HELPING AN ANGEL

Also once in a while check in on your friends and family and help them where you can because charity begins at home.Don't forget that a persons greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Appreciation can make a persons day and even change a life .Your willingness to put  into kind word or even action is all it takes to impact a life.

 LIVE, LAUGH ,LEARN, LOVE AND NEVER STOP CARING

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