THIS THING CALLED LIFE...

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ROAD YOU ARE WALKING DOWN PAVE A NEW ONE

'Everyday is a new beginning.'Cliche quote ..I know However let's look at it another way. If you have 365 days in a year . How many of those 365 days can you actually account for?
If every day is a new beginning why does your year look exactly as it did last year?

 If from the day you are born you are a day closer to your death. (I know it might sound pessimistic. However it is the truth.)
Unfortunately , in this thing called life . Non of us know's when we will die .The few of us lucky enough to wake up every other morning in good health often take that for granted .
We wake up get to work, or we go through the day doing the things we need to do . Some days letting some things fall to the bottom of the list (out right procrastination)

So let me ask you this if you started to view your time as precious and wouldn't want to waste a minute of it, what would you change about your life if you actually knew the exact day you will die ?
would you tolerate the things that you do? will you be better?will you do more ?will you still be the same person you are now?

I was having a conversation with my mum about life and this is what she shared with me, "the fig tree grows its fruit even before the leaves open. That is why in the parable of the fig tree in the bible. Jesus cursed the fig tree because this specific fig tree's leaves had opened and had not allowed the most important part of the tree(the fruit) to grow."

Which brings me to the question, what areas in your life have you invested so much energy however all the time you invested hasn't bore you any fruit that benefits you?
How much time have you wasted? Just because you spend a lot of time making a mistake doesn't mean you can't stop !
If you where actually told exactly when you where going to die. What would you change?
What would you improve on?
What would you get rid of?
From the answers you have given write a list of what is important. Cut off what is not important ,and stop worrying about the what ifs and start doing and being you.
Make your 365days you have work for you .

Also accept you for you.look your self in the mirror and see yourself as vulnerable as you are accept you can't be perfect and improve on what can be improved on. Where there is a will a way will always be provided....I know another cliche quote but they carry the most weight.
Stop being your own obstacle.

CORRECT IN LOVE AND ELIMINATE THE REBELLIOUSNESS PROCESS.

 HOLDING ONTO ANGER IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE
As a mom i have learnt patience in a way i never thought possible, and applying it to everyday life has become a slightly easier task.
For those that cant relate with that let me give you an example.

When you find a child making a mess or doing something wrong.They are the hardest to correct because, you dont want to scar them,traumatise them or even say the wrong thing because ,you have to correct them with love and in gentleness.
In order for them to know that what they are doing is wrong, and that you want to put them on the right path.

It occured to me that when it comes to correcting anybody. Irrgardless of age ,we should correct them the same way we would correct a child.

When correcting someone the goal is to apply light and not heat.
We correct them because we want them to change and for change to be effective it has to be willing.
With that in mind below is a list of things to avoid to effectively guide someone in the right direction.
The three things you should avoid are;

• Shouting.(which feels like attacking the person)
• Manipulation.
• Commanding  (That is Dictating what to do or Forcing someone to do something.).

 SHOUTING

I want you to think back to the last time someone shouted at you to do something and you actually did it with a good heart ? Personally, i can tell you that shouting may get the job done but, the outcome isnt permanent and it isnt done whole heartedly. 

Inorder to have permanent change of attitude. The person must see that what they are doing is wrong and they must see that it must be corrected. 

The way you approach every situation determines the outcome.So before you shout and raise both your voice and their anger think wisely of what kind of result you are chasing.

MANIPULATION

Can be defined as, exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for ones own advantage. Or as, the skillful handling controlling or using of something or someone.

With that in mind although you can easily achieve the outcome you hope for 

.Remember that we are all intelligent beings and when we eventually realise that we have been manipulated into doing something.

 Resentment and even hate can surface and when it does you might end up loosing that person so evaluate and see if it is worth the risk.

COMMANDING/DICTATING/FORCING 

Nobody likes being forced into doing anything and more importantly note that God himself gives you a choice and even though he knows the right path you should take he lets you find your own way.Even though he could easily get mad and wipe you from existance he ic loving he is kind and he is patient with us above all he never stops believing in us thats why he sent his son to save us

When correcting some one correct them in love and kindness that way they dont get mad and rebel or even do things half heartedly.Politeness always goes a long way even if they are in the wrong 
Live ,Laugh ,Love ,Learn and remember, 'FROM THE ERRORS OF OTHERS A WISE MAN CORRECTS HIS OWN'.

INVISIBLE PEOPLE...(A kind gesture can heal a wound that only compassion can heal .Be kind! )

A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR OWN ATTITUDE AND IN THE LIVES OF THOSE WE ENCOUNTER.

 I love to observe in silence everything that is happening around me .Especially, when i go for walks or long drives.Watching people go about their day. Looking at the expressions on their faces or just observing the way they do things, is something that has always fascinated me.

So on this specific day, i was so preoccupied in my own world of thoughts that i could see what was going on around me .
My body was moving and doing things on automatic but my mind was so far away.

So when someone stopped me to ask for my help .I just brushed them off because ,i felt like it was too much of a task and i wanted to focus more on what was going on in my own mind.
When i realized what i had just done .I paused to evaluate what had just happened.

I was too focused on my own troubles to notice that someone else who was in needed and chose to stop me to ask me for help ,because they thought that i could help.
I ignored them! I didn't even look them in the eye!
I didn't even listen long enough to know what they needed to know how i can help them!
that made me feel horrible because i though to myself when i need help and i don't get any it makes you feel hopeless as though nobody can see you as if you are invisible.

It made me realize how we can sometimes be so preoccupied in our own thoughts that take for granted and seldom see what is going on around us.
We have become selfish because we tend to think of ourselves more than we think of those around us. We have become so detached from one another that we choose not to help people because we feel that someone else can help them or we think that we are being scammed .

That's really disturbing because that is not the basis of compassion. kindness or giving . You should give without expecting to receive. You should do it out of the kindness of your heart because you see someone is in need and you should always treat people the way you would like to be treated.
Always put yourself in someones shoes and choose to be the better person because in helping someone you then make it possible  for them to help another and that is what makes the world a better place.
Also it reminds me of something that i was taught when i was young. ALWAYS HELP A PERSON IN NEED BECAUSE YOU COULD BE HELPING AN ANGEL

Also once in a while check in on your friends and family and help them where you can because charity begins at home.Don't forget that a persons greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Appreciation can make a persons day and even change a life .Your willingness to put  into kind word or even action is all it takes to impact a life.

 LIVE, LAUGH ,LEARN, LOVE AND NEVER STOP CARING

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EVERYTIME YOU CONFRONT A FEAR YOU BUILD FREEDOM

 FEAR IS ONLY AN EMOTION IT CAN BE STOPPED BY ACTION

The words that creep up on you in that moment of uncertainty,that cause hesitation.

The insecurity brought about by the fear of what they will think ,or what they will say!

Alone in silence where your own thoughts bring you down.

The words that keep you from moving forward.

The inability to try because there is always a reason not to.......

1000 ways to die ,1000 ways to try .

How about you spend more time trying .Than looking at the 1000 ways you will die. 

It means  much more to die trying die trying .Than to be average.

Everyone has a fear .

The only thing that separates us is that some of us will go to our grave and will be buried with our fears and others will concur them and live a life without boundaries.

Use fear as a motivating factor and chase the thrill of outdoing it .

Overcomie each challenge knowing, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It is in realizing that you might have been wrong in thinking that  it  was a mountain when it was only an illusion..

The reward is always in the risk.

Fear is poison and i am confronting mine .What are you  waiting for?

THE LOUD SILENCE OF SEXUAL ABUSE /ASSAULT......

WILL THEY BELIEVE ME OR WILL THEY BLAME ME.

She ran to her room and tried to lock the door.

She crawled her way to the darkest corner and hid .

Trying to breath calmly and not too loud lest he hear her and find her hiding place.

Her life felt like a unending death sentence.
Sitting there feeling as though her life was draining into the earth beneath where she sat.

She heard his steps getting closer.
Slowly her place of safety turned into a trap .
Like a mouse cornered with no place of escape .
Nothing could convince her in that moment that her life had a meaning.

Pain was all she new how to consume and it darkened every aspect of life .
She regreted her birth because since the day she was born she could feel herself die.

The sound of her l heart racing and the sick feeling sank to her stomach leaving her hollow.
Brought herback to reality.
Hoplessnes filled her and corroded any fiber she hadleft to live.

Nothing could be done.

He came in bare chested with his unbuttoned pants hanging low .
The way he smelt made her nauseous.

He dragged her out by her ankle.
Trying to scream would only leave her worse off .
He was bigger.
He was stronger.
He was like an animal.
When he got like this she could swear she could see the devil in his eyes. He was what nightmares where made of.

She had to die.
She had to be numb .
She had to escape.
So with a blank stare the only words that could come out where ,"DONT!!!!!PLEASE YOU'VE ALREADY TAKEN TOO MUCH FROM ME".

All she saw next was his fist rise and the pain that followed that knocked her out.

.....She woke up from the nightmare only to see him leave the room with a smile on his face and thelow rumble of laughter and satisfaction. He got what he wanted.

The comfort from not witnessing it and the flashbacks of his inhumane act non existant caused a slight relief.
Re living it in her nightmares was too much to bare.
For this one time she would have no memory of it all.
She could convince herself it was a nightmare.
Although.

Looking around she knew and could feel what he did .
It wasnt a nightmare she tried to sit up and fell back to the floor.

All she wanted to do was get up and wash off his dirt as if it could wash it all out .But her body lacked the strength to do so .

So she lay there blank as blank could be .
Blank was all she felt and it felt better than feeling.
She swore she would escape forever .
But until then she allowed her brain to shut down ..............................

It is always in silence that wecome to truth of that moment.where we lost apart of ourselves .
Where we mourn the death of innocence from the hands of a friend, loved one or a family relative .
It is the hardest place to be because you choose to feel and instead of pushing those feelings down and surpressing them to a point of non-existance .
We choose to accept it happened

In the deepest part of your memory where you hide the ugly truth .The truth struggles to get heard.
The harshness of reality.

The shadows of that moment where you where too helpless to fight or too young to know what was happening.

You knew it was wrong but the strength to stop it couldnt bear roots. And it slowly manifests in your everyday life. Makes you become something less of who you where ment to be, because you couldnt say it because you where affraid of the consequences of speaking your truth. Of giving life to the darkness.
For there is power in the words and sometimes we may not have the strengthto deal with it.

You where affraid of the punishment without knowing you already have been punished for something you had no control over. You feel subject to the situation and who you have become is a result of what you have been through .

Not knowing that with each wrong that happens nature and God has a way of turning it into more positives and even though it may not feel like that right now .You need to know for every wrong done to you .

God sees it and although you may feel a silence from him he is working for your good or for the good of someone you may meet that will need your help healing from the same and you will empathise with them because you know what it feels like to be trapped and isolated , for that moment you realise you are not alone and all it takes is a voice to speak up to set so many other people free.

The actions of another person in your life have a way of haunting us and they do alot of damage until you find rest and a pause enough to reconsile the pain and the trauma caused to you.

It is not your fault for you where vulnerable you where innocent and now you cant get back that life.
Because that wasnt your life to live maybe your life had to have pain to make you into a better version of yourself.

You have to heal it on your own ,healing starts from self acceptance and its a journey of self discovery you have to find on your own .
You just need to have the strength to do it and seek the help needed to restore your peace of mind.

For help send us a message in our contact form or if you know someone suffering share this with them and let them know we are here to help.
Live Learn and allow yourself to fall apart.

FREEDOM

CUT THE ROPES AND SET YOURSELF FREE

Freedom is knowing that you have a choice.

Its knowing that you have one life to live and you have to live it to the your best ability before your time runs out.

Freedom is your ability to choose the path you are on and to either choose to put up a fight or give up.

Freedom is what our ancestors faught hard for.
Inorder for us to have the ability to choose,to be what we want to be and to live, a life that we can look back at and be proud of.

Freedom is choosing who you love and loving them irregardless of what obstacles you face.

Freedom is your ability to be free to be who you are without restrictions. To be unapologetically you and loving who you are and allowing the light within you to shine.

Freedom is choosing to fly and not crawl all your life.

Freedom is living and speaking your truth without worrying what people will perceive of you. Without allowing their judgements of you .   Change you .

Freedom is your ability to choose different to carve out your own path .

Freedom is a hard earned gift that we get to enjoy now .where many died trying to attain . Dont allow your mind to create restrictions. 

Live , Love ,Learn , Laugh and never stop dreaming. For it is in our dreams that we first see what we want to become.

Freedom is your right.Dont allow the world to hold you back because at the end of the day it is your journey in this life and  the accomlshments and the legacy you leave behind will be the mark you leave behind.

WE PLAN MORE FOR THE WEDDING THAN WE DO FOR THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT DONT JUST FOCUS ON THE WEDDING DAY IT ONLY LASTS 1 DAY BUT THE MARRIAGE IS FOR A LIFETIME

As women we have been fed the narrative ,"Finish school,get a job ,find a husband and live happily ever after......."

We have been conditioned to think that the single most important moment in our lives is walking down the isle to our prince charming who will save us from all our worries and be our knight and shining armour.

So from a young age we think about the details of how we would like the magical day to look ,what we will wear ,what colours we will have ,what shoes and how our hair will look.
Every so often we add more details to the day inorder to ensure that nothing messes up that special day.

Every detail is carefully picked out with the aim of bringing the day as close to perfection as possible.

Then the day comes and goes and you realize, you lived a day to fulfill expectations and spend more money than necessary just to achieve a milestone imposed on you. Which leaves you thinking,".....so what next??????".

So here you are sitting across the room from someone you where supposed to be living happily ever after with but instead all you can think is .....who is this stranger i married?, 

How come nobody told me it was going to be this difficult and did i make the biggest mistake of my life?"

The thing about love is once you open your heart up to someone its hard to shut them out. 

Sometimes in marriage and also in long term relationships we go through obstacles and we tend to build walls or in some cases we choose to create an illusion of who the perfect person is suppoaed to be and we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses and it leads to resentment .

Time goes by and we find we know nothing about the person we married.

The thing is thats exactly what marriage we marry the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with and that in itself is a gift but we focus on everything else but ensuring we get to spend the rest of our Live happily with that person.

What i loved about old love (our grandparents kind of love) is that they understood it they accepted the traditional parts of what a union is and they also grew into what love and family threw their way and thats why we can sit around during family holidays and see how their love inspired generations .

Love needs to be patient and love needs to be kind even when there is no reason to be kind.

Now we allow everyone tell us what love is supposed to be instead of creating and working hard to create the kind of love we dreamt of in our homes.

Most people can be envious and give advise just to see you miserable and some just cannot understand the dynamics of your relationship and will give one sided advise. 

So my advise for you is plan for the future plan for the problems and plan to stick it out so you can have an always and forever.

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