INVISIBLE PEOPLE...(A kind gesture can heal a wound that only compassion can heal .Be kind! )

A MOMENT OF GRATITUDE MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR OWN ATTITUDE AND IN THE LIVES OF THOSE WE ENCOUNTER.

 I love to observe in silence everything that is happening around me .Especially, when i go for walks or long drives.Watching people go about their day. Looking at the expressions on their faces or just observing the way they do things, is something that has always fascinated me.

So on this specific day, i was so preoccupied in my own world of thoughts that i could see what was going on around me .
My body was moving and doing things on automatic but my mind was so far away.

So when someone stopped me to ask for my help .I just brushed them off because ,i felt like it was too much of a task and i wanted to focus more on what was going on in my own mind.
When i realized what i had just done .I paused to evaluate what had just happened.

I was too focused on my own troubles to notice that someone else who was in needed and chose to stop me to ask me for help ,because they thought that i could help.
I ignored them! I didn't even look them in the eye!
I didn't even listen long enough to know what they needed to know how i can help them!
that made me feel horrible because i though to myself when i need help and i don't get any it makes you feel hopeless as though nobody can see you as if you are invisible.

It made me realize how we can sometimes be so preoccupied in our own thoughts that take for granted and seldom see what is going on around us.
We have become selfish because we tend to think of ourselves more than we think of those around us. We have become so detached from one another that we choose not to help people because we feel that someone else can help them or we think that we are being scammed .

That's really disturbing because that is not the basis of compassion. kindness or giving . You should give without expecting to receive. You should do it out of the kindness of your heart because you see someone is in need and you should always treat people the way you would like to be treated.
Always put yourself in someones shoes and choose to be the better person because in helping someone you then make it possible  for them to help another and that is what makes the world a better place.
Also it reminds me of something that i was taught when i was young. ALWAYS HELP A PERSON IN NEED BECAUSE YOU COULD BE HELPING AN ANGEL

Also once in a while check in on your friends and family and help them where you can because charity begins at home.Don't forget that a persons greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Appreciation can make a persons day and even change a life .Your willingness to put  into kind word or even action is all it takes to impact a life.

 LIVE, LAUGH ,LEARN, LOVE AND NEVER STOP CARING

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EVERYTIME YOU CONFRONT A FEAR YOU BUILD FREEDOM

 FEAR IS ONLY AN EMOTION IT CAN BE STOPPED BY ACTION

The words that creep up on you in that moment of uncertainty,that cause hesitation.

The insecurity brought about by the fear of what they will think ,or what they will say!

Alone in silence where your own thoughts bring you down.

The words that keep you from moving forward.

The inability to try because there is always a reason not to.......

1000 ways to die ,1000 ways to try .

How about you spend more time trying .Than looking at the 1000 ways you will die. 

It means  much more to die trying die trying .Than to be average.

Everyone has a fear .

The only thing that separates us is that some of us will go to our grave and will be buried with our fears and others will concur them and live a life without boundaries.

Use fear as a motivating factor and chase the thrill of outdoing it .

Overcomie each challenge knowing, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It is in realizing that you might have been wrong in thinking that  it  was a mountain when it was only an illusion..

The reward is always in the risk.

Fear is poison and i am confronting mine .What are you  waiting for?

THE LOUD SILENCE OF SEXUAL ABUSE /ASSAULT......

WILL THEY BELIEVE ME OR WILL THEY BLAME ME.

She ran to her room and tried to lock the door.

She crawled her way to the darkest corner and hid .

Trying to breath calmly and not too loud lest he hear her and find her hiding place.

Her life felt like a unending death sentence.
Sitting there feeling as though her life was draining into the earth beneath where she sat.

She heard his steps getting closer.
Slowly her place of safety turned into a trap .
Like a mouse cornered with no place of escape .
Nothing could convince her in that moment that her life had a meaning.

Pain was all she new how to consume and it darkened every aspect of life .
She regreted her birth because since the day she was born she could feel herself die.

The sound of her l heart racing and the sick feeling sank to her stomach leaving her hollow.
Brought herback to reality.
Hoplessnes filled her and corroded any fiber she hadleft to live.

Nothing could be done.

He came in bare chested with his unbuttoned pants hanging low .
The way he smelt made her nauseous.

He dragged her out by her ankle.
Trying to scream would only leave her worse off .
He was bigger.
He was stronger.
He was like an animal.
When he got like this she could swear she could see the devil in his eyes. He was what nightmares where made of.

She had to die.
She had to be numb .
She had to escape.
So with a blank stare the only words that could come out where ,"DONT!!!!!PLEASE YOU'VE ALREADY TAKEN TOO MUCH FROM ME".

All she saw next was his fist rise and the pain that followed that knocked her out.

.....She woke up from the nightmare only to see him leave the room with a smile on his face and thelow rumble of laughter and satisfaction. He got what he wanted.

The comfort from not witnessing it and the flashbacks of his inhumane act non existant caused a slight relief.
Re living it in her nightmares was too much to bare.
For this one time she would have no memory of it all.
She could convince herself it was a nightmare.
Although.

Looking around she knew and could feel what he did .
It wasnt a nightmare she tried to sit up and fell back to the floor.

All she wanted to do was get up and wash off his dirt as if it could wash it all out .But her body lacked the strength to do so .

So she lay there blank as blank could be .
Blank was all she felt and it felt better than feeling.
She swore she would escape forever .
But until then she allowed her brain to shut down ..............................

It is always in silence that wecome to truth of that moment.where we lost apart of ourselves .
Where we mourn the death of innocence from the hands of a friend, loved one or a family relative .
It is the hardest place to be because you choose to feel and instead of pushing those feelings down and surpressing them to a point of non-existance .
We choose to accept it happened

In the deepest part of your memory where you hide the ugly truth .The truth struggles to get heard.
The harshness of reality.

The shadows of that moment where you where too helpless to fight or too young to know what was happening.

You knew it was wrong but the strength to stop it couldnt bear roots. And it slowly manifests in your everyday life. Makes you become something less of who you where ment to be, because you couldnt say it because you where affraid of the consequences of speaking your truth. Of giving life to the darkness.
For there is power in the words and sometimes we may not have the strengthto deal with it.

You where affraid of the punishment without knowing you already have been punished for something you had no control over. You feel subject to the situation and who you have become is a result of what you have been through .

Not knowing that with each wrong that happens nature and God has a way of turning it into more positives and even though it may not feel like that right now .You need to know for every wrong done to you .

God sees it and although you may feel a silence from him he is working for your good or for the good of someone you may meet that will need your help healing from the same and you will empathise with them because you know what it feels like to be trapped and isolated , for that moment you realise you are not alone and all it takes is a voice to speak up to set so many other people free.

The actions of another person in your life have a way of haunting us and they do alot of damage until you find rest and a pause enough to reconsile the pain and the trauma caused to you.

It is not your fault for you where vulnerable you where innocent and now you cant get back that life.
Because that wasnt your life to live maybe your life had to have pain to make you into a better version of yourself.

You have to heal it on your own ,healing starts from self acceptance and its a journey of self discovery you have to find on your own .
You just need to have the strength to do it and seek the help needed to restore your peace of mind.

For help send us a message in our contact form or if you know someone suffering share this with them and let them know we are here to help.
Live Learn and allow yourself to fall apart.

FREEDOM

CUT THE ROPES AND SET YOURSELF FREE

Freedom is knowing that you have a choice.

Its knowing that you have one life to live and you have to live it to the your best ability before your time runs out.

Freedom is your ability to choose the path you are on and to either choose to put up a fight or give up.

Freedom is what our ancestors faught hard for.
Inorder for us to have the ability to choose,to be what we want to be and to live, a life that we can look back at and be proud of.

Freedom is choosing who you love and loving them irregardless of what obstacles you face.

Freedom is your ability to be free to be who you are without restrictions. To be unapologetically you and loving who you are and allowing the light within you to shine.

Freedom is choosing to fly and not crawl all your life.

Freedom is living and speaking your truth without worrying what people will perceive of you. Without allowing their judgements of you .   Change you .

Freedom is your ability to choose different to carve out your own path .

Freedom is a hard earned gift that we get to enjoy now .where many died trying to attain . Dont allow your mind to create restrictions. 

Live , Love ,Learn , Laugh and never stop dreaming. For it is in our dreams that we first see what we want to become.

Freedom is your right.Dont allow the world to hold you back because at the end of the day it is your journey in this life and  the accomlshments and the legacy you leave behind will be the mark you leave behind.

WE PLAN MORE FOR THE WEDDING THAN WE DO FOR THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT DONT JUST FOCUS ON THE WEDDING DAY IT ONLY LASTS 1 DAY BUT THE MARRIAGE IS FOR A LIFETIME

As women we have been fed the narrative ,"Finish school,get a job ,find a husband and live happily ever after......."

We have been conditioned to think that the single most important moment in our lives is walking down the isle to our prince charming who will save us from all our worries and be our knight and shining armour.

So from a young age we think about the details of how we would like the magical day to look ,what we will wear ,what colours we will have ,what shoes and how our hair will look.
Every so often we add more details to the day inorder to ensure that nothing messes up that special day.

Every detail is carefully picked out with the aim of bringing the day as close to perfection as possible.

Then the day comes and goes and you realize, you lived a day to fulfill expectations and spend more money than necessary just to achieve a milestone imposed on you. Which leaves you thinking,".....so what next??????".

So here you are sitting across the room from someone you where supposed to be living happily ever after with but instead all you can think is .....who is this stranger i married?, 

How come nobody told me it was going to be this difficult and did i make the biggest mistake of my life?"

The thing about love is once you open your heart up to someone its hard to shut them out. 

Sometimes in marriage and also in long term relationships we go through obstacles and we tend to build walls or in some cases we choose to create an illusion of who the perfect person is suppoaed to be and we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses and it leads to resentment .

Time goes by and we find we know nothing about the person we married.

The thing is thats exactly what marriage we marry the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with and that in itself is a gift but we focus on everything else but ensuring we get to spend the rest of our Live happily with that person.

What i loved about old love (our grandparents kind of love) is that they understood it they accepted the traditional parts of what a union is and they also grew into what love and family threw their way and thats why we can sit around during family holidays and see how their love inspired generations .

Love needs to be patient and love needs to be kind even when there is no reason to be kind.

Now we allow everyone tell us what love is supposed to be instead of creating and working hard to create the kind of love we dreamt of in our homes.

Most people can be envious and give advise just to see you miserable and some just cannot understand the dynamics of your relationship and will give one sided advise. 

So my advise for you is plan for the future plan for the problems and plan to stick it out so you can have an always and forever.

If you would like to talk send us a message by leaving your name email and message  in the section on the right hand side

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MISUNDERSTOOD. (depression and anxiety)

She spends her days in bed and escapes the world by living through the novelas she watches.

Isolated in her fantasies. Closed off from the reality of the daily happenings of the world.

Alone and isolated.

The warmth she gets from her blankets holding on to them tight for they alone give her solace.

She is trapped in her thoughts of hopelessness and the loudness of the silence adds to her anxiety.

This is not where she thought she would be when she graduated.

This is not the life she envisioned.

Scrolling through her phone seeing the picture perfect  lives  of those she knew go by .

She cant help but ask herself why they get to live their dreams while she rots away in disparity.

Shes been in her bed living day to day.

Living each minute as the last wondering when it will change.

Hoping for that call that will change her life but she knows deep within her that its unlikely .

She has no strength to try she has no strength to give because all the world seems to do is take from her

Her family has stopped trying her friends have all let her slip through the cracks.

So she sits there. In silence wondering what she did wrong to deserve the life she got .
What unending punishment and torture is this.
And how and when will it stop.

From outside she can hear people ushering in a new year .

Its been 10 years of this repetitive cycle and nothing has changed.

She slips into the blankets again and noticed the hole and it dawns on her that soon enough all that will be left of her comforter will be shreds ......

Just like her heart .
Just like her life .
A void of holes and lost memories.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION SEND US A MESSAGE OR AN EMAIL WITH THEIR DETAILS WE WILL ASSIST THEM. AND IF THIS DESCRIBES YOU DON'T WORRY WE ARE HERE TO HELP 

CLOSURE

YOU ARE BETTER OFF LETTING IT LOOSE THAN HOLDING IT IN AND IT CORRUPTING YOU

Have you ever been so mad at someone for so long , that you forget you still have unresolved issues with them .
Until you meet with them or hear from them that you realise you where still hurt and upset from something that happened ages ago.

And at the instant that they apologize you can literally feel the wall break and you are flooded by the realisation that a situation had held you captive .

Or even if they havent and might not apologize the fact that you still carry the trauma or the pain shows that in that situation you are held hostage to truly being free because their is something that denies you the true joy you would have if it didnt exist.

The thing with pain or hurt is that it digs a hole and that void created spreads and you eventually are overwhelmed with the thoughts of what you are lacking that you forget to acknowledge what you have.

Two people coming from a point of pain can never see eye to eye because each person believes that their pain is bigger than the other person that they miss to realise that they are the only two people directly affected

The pain directed at eachother only makes the situation worse.

No resolve can be reached because each individual feels wronged and each individual feels they are justified in their anger.

The truth is two wrongs can never make a right and if you dont feel that you are mature enough to be the better person it just means that you should because .In that moment your hurt is speaking louder than logic.

Closure means:   an act or process of closing something,
;closing down
;a procedure for ending a debate and taking a vote.
;a sense of resolution or conclusion at the end of something.

That said to give closure you must first accept that you are in need of coming to positive conclusion that will enable you to move forward without denying yourself true growth.
Live ,Love, Learn ,Laugh and heal all the invisible scars and rise above them like a phoenix from the ashes.