Listening to a conversation by a lady who decided to become complacent with the physical ,verbal and emotional trauma from her spouse and her giving reasons as to why she stayed in a toxic and draining relationship made me sick to my stomach so I write this to show women who use "I have no where else to go," as an excuse that it's time for you to want better for yourself.
Women feel trapped in relationships of domestic abuse. For reasons like a pastor told her that God hates divorce, her partner said he would change, she did not have a place to go and money to survive once she left, she thought love conquered all, she felt alone , what would she do with the kids or just the fact that she has given so much to the relationship that she would rather stay than leave.
The limitations of leaving can be both psychological and physical. Many rationalise their situation. Some end up blaming themselves for the abusive behaviour of their partners and try convince themselves if they approach the person differently, maybe they won’t be abused.
Being in an toxic relationship is like an addiction “The person being abused is focused on the positive and waiting for the next positive. The fact that a person can be so loving in one moment and cruel the next makes you doubt that they don't mean it and as women we tend to see the good in the people we love and end up suffering for it.The psychological effect the moments of tenderness and intimacy are unpredictable, but they are so intense and fulfilling that the you end up staying in the hopes that a moment like that will happen again. Almost like selective amnesia you forget the bad in order to hope for the moments of intense love and acts of grandeur.
(see my post on learn to live , dont agree to bercome a statistic ,starting over )
Eventually you become both physically mentally and emotionally worn down and continue to tolerate more abuse. Over time you end up feeling less entitled to safety, to love, to happiness like you do not deserve it.
The thing is a-woman-is-unstopable-once-she-realises she deserves better .When you get so used to being unhappy you begin to think it's normal. While in reality it is Not normal. Nobody is created to stay miserable. It is the wrong decisions we continue to make after a mistake that leave us broken.
Everyone goes through bad things you can either let that define you or you can learn to move on having learnt from the situation.
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