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Untold lives of woman, is a woman's journey on the path life has set her on.
A blog about factors that affect the lives of women and where you can find inspiration.
The Un edited side of "life ".Where there is beauty in imperfection and knowing that through the support and wisdom we share with each other .We will help improve not only our own lives but the lives of generations to come.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016



Writing this post I am reminded that nobody is guaranteed a tomorrow. Each breath we take could be our last. Its just through the grace of our creator that we are alive, hence we have to take advantage of the time you have now. we have time while we are still alive to achieve all we hope for.

Taking control of your self-confidence is a way to get all that done. How do I do that? Well here are a few ways.

  • Groom yourself,dressing in a way that makes you feel confident. It goes a long way in boosting your confidence . You have to look the part to be the part.

  • Take risks.Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes after wards. ~Christopher Kaminski.

 I realized the only way out was through. You have to crawl, walk, fall, and repeat to get comfortable with vulnerability and conflict. I made tons of mistakes, and a lot of it hurts. But I live a peopled life now, and it’s worth all the discomfort it took to get here.
People are more apt to see you how you want to be seen if they suspect you see yourself that way.

  • Kill negative thoughts. You need to be able to say NO. To the negativity that surrounds you or speaks to you.You are great and nothing should hinder that.Put your thoughts in their place.The average human has 65,000 thoughts every day, Blalock says, and 85 to 90 percent of them are negative--things to worry about or fear. "They're warnings to yourself,left over from our cave-dwelling past." It makes sense ,if we stick our hand in a flame our brain wants to make sure we don't ever do that again. But this survival mechanism works against us because it causes us to focus on fears rather than hopes or dreams

  • Get to know yourself. Fall in love with yourself, love you for who you are and accept you for who your not because you have today to make tomorrow a reality.Learning who you are doesn’t happen overnight. For one thing, it can be hard to know which parts of you are you, and which parts are who you think you should be.

A good start is to identify your strengths and weaknesses and then weigh those against what you enjoy.It might help to list five things you do well that you enjoy and five things you’d like to do well. Make an effort to utilize some of the first list and work on some of the second every day. As you use your strengths and improve where there’s room to grow, you’ll develop both confidence and fulfillment simultaneously.

  • Think positively, our mind has a way of making us doubt ourselves I like to say always go with the first thought you had before your mind said no,most times its your insecurities that get in the way.You didn’t come out of the womb unsure of your cry or insecure about your large umbilical cord. You came out blissfully unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own experience and needs. I’m not suggesting that you should be oblivious to other people. It’s just that it may help to remember confidence was your original nature before time started ticking away at it. Once you developed a sense of self-awareness, you started forming doubts and insecurities .
When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.Know your strengths and weaknesses.
As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and also learn your weaknesses. ~Angela Birt.
 People often think confidence means knowing you can create the outcome you desire. To some extent it does, but this idea isn’t universally true for anyone. No matter how talented, smart, or capable you are, you cannot predict or control everything that happens in your life.Even confident people lose jobs, relationships, and sometimes, their health.

Confidence comes from knowing your competence but acknowledging it’s not solely responsible for creating your world. When you take that weight off your shoulders and realize that sometimes the twists and turns have nothing to do with what you did or should have done, it’s easier to feel confident in what you bring to the table.

"There are so many people that I've asked, 'What do you want to do? What do you want to be?' and they would say, 'I don't know. "Knowing what you want is the key. Everything else you do should be leading you where you want to go."Confidence comes from a space of humility. It is spawned when we dare to see the world through an alternate lens. It grows when we have the courage to embrace the experience of the unknown and the unknowable. ~Hana Lee

  • Fake it to make it. Act positive.and you will attract positive be a go getter. Once you do that on a regular it becomes you the you you hope to be.The point is to be aware that your brain works this way, and keep that negativity in proportion. "What you have to realize is your thoughts are just thoughts. They don't necessarily represent objective reality.

Begin the day by thinking about some of the things you have to be grateful for, Blalock advises. "Most of the 7 billion people in the world won't have the opportunities you do," she says. "If you start out with that perspective, you'll be in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day."

Take a daily step outside your comfort zone.There's a funny thing about comfort zones. If we step outside them on a regular basis, they expand. If we stay within them, they shrink. Avoid getting trapped inside a shrinking comfort zone by pushing yourself to do things that are outside it.We've all had experiences where we've done something that terrified us, and then discovered it wasn't so bad.
If you're running into opposition, questions, and doubts, there's probably a good reason--you're going somewhere. That doesn't mean you should ignore warning signs, but it does mean you should put those negatives in perspective. If you don't make changes, and challenge the status quo, no one will ever object to anything you do. Get ready to bounce back."It's not failure that destroys our confidence, it's not getting back up," "Once we get back up, we've learnt what doesn't work and we can give it another try." Taking more swings gets you where you want to go.

  • Find a mentor. Whatever you've set out to do, there are likely others who've done it first and can offer you useful advice or at least serve as role models. Find those people and learn as much from them as you can. Find a support system a positive one for that matter there is always someone to kick you when you are down and those are the people to avoid

  • Do your homework.In almost any situation, preparation can help boost your confidence. Have to give a speech? Practise it several times, record yourself, and listen. Meeting people for the first time? Check them and their organizations out on the Web, and check their social media profiles as well. "If you're prepared you will be more confident.The Internet makes it so easy."
  • Get plenty of rest and exercise.There's ample evidence by now that getting enough sleep, exercise, and good nutrition profoundly affects both your mood and your effectiveness. "Just moderate exercise three times a week for 20 minutes does so much for the body
  • Breathe!This one is so simple. If you breathe heavily, it saturates your brain with oxygen and makes you more awake and aware. It's very important in a tense situation because it will make you realize that you control your body, and not your unconscious mind. If you're not practising breathing, you should be."
  • Don't forget to ask for help."Don't assume people know what you want,"You have to figure out what that is, and then educate them."Once people know what you want, and that you want their help, you may be surprised at how forthcoming they are. "People are really flattered when you ask for advice and support," she says. "If someone says no you can always ask someone else. But in my experience, they rarely say no."
Tap into the confidence you were born with.I feel it’s something that is always there, something you’re born with that gets lost along the way, or stolen by others. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it again. ~Amy Lee Tempest

  • Expect success.Confidence comes from success…But confidence also combines another quality because you can be successful, yet lack confidence. It requires a mental attitude shift to an expectation of success. And this alone, can bring about more success, reinforcing the confidence. It spirals from there. ~Jason Hihn .It might seem strange to say expect success since you can’t predict the future.
Conventional wisdom suggests it’s smart to expect the worst because you won’t be disappointed if you fail and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you succeed. But research suggests this isn’t universally true. Pessimism can undermine your performance creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.Trust your capabilities.Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. ~Donn King

No one in the world knows everything. Everyone is good at some things and not so good at others. Don’t weigh your security against what you know or can do; weigh it against your willingness and capacity to learn.If someone criticizes you, take it is an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than you, see it as an opportunity to learn from them. If you fall short at something, realize you can get closer next time. Don’t worry if you’re not confident in what you can do now—be confident in your potential.
Confidence is earned through positive recognition and reinforcement. ~Don La FranchiIt
It can be practiced and with that practise you will get better. ~Jacqueline Wolven.

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