REACH OUT AND SAVE ME !!!
I sit on the floor unaware of the cold.
Overwhelmed by pain,hurt hate anger and envy.
It consumes me and covers me like a blanket of numbness .
My heavy body starts to feel lighter.
I know i am close to the end.
A new beginning .
Alone i sit .
Just as i feel
Nobody can understand what i feel ,and if they did they would see me different.
They would treat me different.
They would love me different.
The voices in my head are getting louder and louder, they give me no peace.
I seek release .
I long to smile again,
I long to escape this pain ,
I long to be free of this thing that weighs me down.
I hear the voices louder than ever.
''You are worthless! You are nothing! Nobody loves you! Nobody cares about you!You are like scum You add no value to this life! You are a cowered! Do us all a favor and leave this world!"
How can i hold on any longer! when i feel so alone and the voices in my own head fight me ?
How can i see beyond this point?
My eyes, my mind and my heart are shut.
My body is weak.
My soul is drowning.
The voices go and i feel numb again.
I love this feeling .
Nothing i know now comes close to this feeling
The feeling of nothing!
.
I open my eyes one more time to say goodbye to myself.
The image in the mirror is of someone i no longer recognise.
My over cried eyes catch a glimpse of my lips and i smile for i feel release.
I fill my cup one more time with my last cocktail and ready to lay myself down like Juliet.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hear a voice i hadnt heard in a long time and it was as clear as day,
It cant be but it was
YOU ARE NOT ALONE !
I hear it again and "YOU ARE NOT ALONE I AM STILL HERE."
I sit up and for the first time i am able to silence the voices, because i finally heard my own voice.
The me i knew from so many years ago before i was corrupted.
The me i recognise.
I saw a glimpse of who I was .
Where I have been and What i am about to accomplish .
I am stronger than the now .
I am beautiful
My journey hasnt been easy but the person I am destined to be, is going to achieve greater heights than i could without these experiences .
I am all i have and the only me in this world.
Im not going to rob myself of my destiny.
Instead im going to soar higher than an eagle.
One day at a time, i will now live
I am not alone and now i need help
